Atlantis

You should vary your sentence structure so that all of your sentences do not start with "You". I also noticed it is possible to pick up 3 ray guns. I doubt that was intentional. Proofreading for Grammar errors and story inconsistencies, and having you game play-tested before publishing would have eliminated many of your errors

I want to give you guys higher ratings, I really do. I can see the effort and the desire to make orignal and funny games, which they are. But, you guys didn't really do well in the spelling or descriptions of the story. Things really happend quickly and I really didn't know what was going on.

My advice is too work harder and longer on your stories, at least for two weeks. If you do that, your stories will be much better.

3/8

Aside from all the other comments, I'd also like to add that fake choices are even more annoying to me than completely linear games. I'd rather choose and have to go back and choose the other option than pick a choice and be faced with two ways to die and then have to go back, because it just makes me angry. It's like you're trying to lie to me or trick me and then I still end up having to follow a linear path anyway.

Even the minimal effort you put in the game was a waste, considering the plot was horrible, and while you had items, I never had to pick up an item. I literally clicked each link, and I was able to shoot without the ray gun.

This defines the minimum standards for the site. In other words, it's positively horrible. There's no story, no description of any quality, no character motivation or anything else that constitutes a good adventure.

Uhh... Sorry but at which bit was this funny and hilarious? I'm not saying that to be mean, I just didn't see any jokes in the game.

Seth says NO!!

Awesome Does Not Approve!
I lost, but I ended up getting about six ray guns when I did. Also, the game moves too quickly, and the player does't get much say in what happens. I mean, come on, you forget to breath so you die? Come on!

...What? I think he's trying to speak to me, I just know it! I see the beginning of a plot but poor execution. This had the execution of a randomnese story but I don't think you were going for that. You need to do a WHOLE lot more of describing what's going on. The Reader had only a very vague semblance of what was happening. Try again, with a little more polish this could be good. 4/8

With work this could be a great game. Try telling people what's going on, like: who was the dead guy? Why was he important? What were the crystals? Also describe the surroundings. You sould proofread before you publish.