Player Comments on Atramentous

Amazing story with a very interesting and unique concept, plus excellently written to boot.

Atramentous was a relatively short story, yet it was full of thought provoking and fascinating ideas. Short and bittersweet. This is one of those rare gems in CYS which is true to its horror category and is actually scary.

As well as the masterfully written first person (which is another thing that stood out) prose, this game made good use of interactive fiction and provided very different outcomes. The endings that were similar had just enough differences and made sense regarding your choices.

My one complaint is that this storygame could have done with some more proofreading, as I noticed a few spelling errors.

Great stuff, and feature worthy, in my opinion. I don't know how this storygame is rated lower than 6. I look forward to more stories from you in the future. I'm about to go read Dispiteous right now.

8/8

As soon as I went through pretty much all the endings of this storygame, my first, immediate thought was:

"Holy Crap."

The writing was just amazing. I loved the descriptions, how you felt like the girl in the story. The setting was deep, twisted, and full of mystery. I was immersed by the first two pages I read of this story. The grammar was great, with no/little mistakes, and the writing felt like you were actually there. I also loved how you gradually learn who you are, through the descriptions and different options. This is a true, psychological horror, something I have not seen at all at this site. I truly loved this.

I loved how the author captured the protaganist's "monster", the voice in her head. Showing it as a living person, just like someone with a real psychological disorder, such as the girl from this storygame. You can fight your twisted side, or live with it. This made me feel like someone with shiznophrenia, antisocial-personality-disorder (ASPD) or another mental problem.

Unlike many, I did not have a problem at all with the lack of knowledge as to what's going on in the story. Instead of being confused, and angrily asking the author "What's this!? Who's She!? What am I here for!? Blahblahblah!?", I felt this contributed to the whole mystique and vagueness of it all. I feel as though these types of stories don't really need such a large backstory/plot, unlike other greats out there like Necromancer by EndMaster or Dead Man Walking by BerkaZerka. You play as the mind of a troubled girl, with a troubled past, and a troubled alter ego. Psychological horror-mystery at its finest on this site, IMO.

It appears that there are two types of people who would look at this story: People like me, who will love the writing and appearence. However, I believe most will dismiss it to be way too broad, unclear, ambiguous, and as Malkalack puts it, not making any coherent sense.

My only complaint would be the length of it. It is very short. If you increased it I would rank it way higher.

6/8. Would have rated higher if it was longer, but nonetheless I absolutely loved this story. I hope the author makes more of these mysterious psychosis-like stories!

This was excellently written with great descriptions, great atmosphere, and nary a grammatical or spelling mistake anywhere to be found.

That being said, I feel that this type of game will strongly appeal to some people while others will find it too vague and overdramatic to be compelling. I personally enjoyed it - I found that the lack of knowledge about what was actually going on added to the feeling of darkness and psychosis. However, the lack of context will probably jar a lot of people and might prevent them from enjoying it. If you could insinuate some context into this story, even if it's only in the story summary, that might help more people enjoy the game.

Although, if you wanted to leave it entirely up to reader interpretation, that's fine too. This story felt more like an exploration of the stream of consciousness than an actual plot, so readers that are focused around what happens next are bound to be disappointed while the ones that enjoy projecting their own interpretations onto the story are more likely to enjoy it.

Interesting premise, but far too short. Waste of time.

not the best

I came in expecting a lot from skimming the featured reviews and ended up did all the paths. That was really good and descriptive.

It's to short

Not a whole lot to it. It was way too short and ended too abruptly, opinion.

Could've used more branching, but this was really well written and drew me in immediately. I'm glad you resisted the urge to go into detailed backstory or anything like that; everything that's happening is clearly described, and everything else involves just enough hints to pique the interest and get the reader paying attention.

I never did find out what the secret was, and as far as I saw that wasn't possible, but I did get the girl rescued at the end.

More please!

Oh, Shoot...

Hats off to you, dear novelist! It doesn't really reduce the horror felt while one reads this at night in bedroom alone.

Absolutely filled with scary, this thing is. Not that generic suddenly-appear-jumpscare-masked-chainsawman, but REAL horror. The kind that slowly tantalizes readers, ever drawing them closer to a horrific finale in blood as the details get darker, the story gets deeper, the monstrosity nearer, and nearer, nearest, contact...

There were a very few amount of spelling errors, but that was it.

You have a rare breed of story here, only ocassionally seen in a good form, and I appreciate you have done such a story.

ABSOLUTELY worth my cents. 6/8.

Well written with very little errors in spelling or grammar. Has a very real since of foreboding and right from the start it sucks you in. More psychological than anything else on this site. the only thing I could think of to make it better is to vary the endings a bit more they all were very similar. But I guess there could really only be a couple of outcomes for this poor girl.

It wasn't scary, if that was the intent. Pretty cool though. I like the ending where Frank Sinatra saves you, it's very touching.

Also, the Morker sounds like a pro wrestler name, like "Jimenez 'the Morker' Beanzor"

Very good writing. I love how the story is very tense and it actually fits into a category I enjoy. Most Horror stories I have read on this site haven't really hooked me yet; but this one sure did! I gave you 6/8.

Like it ;)

This was awesome! Please write more things. Also I am free.

Having read both of your stories I have to say I admire your mind, not many can write like this effectively, that said there are atill a few problems I found mainly with spelling though compared to the other this one is slightly less linear. I still would like a bit more gore, though I think EndMaster's stories could use more gore so maybe the Mörker is within me.

This was deliciously dark. This was some Edgar Allan Poe shit right here. And I'm just guessing: Is the möker a metaphor for a marker, and you are the ink?

Nice, dark story. Although, with a name like "The Mörker" it was a little difficult to take seriously. 4/8

I guess I chose wrong.

I loved this story! The plot was fantastic, the writing and description amazing; much better than a lot of stories here! I went through every ending, anticipating what would happen next. I only wish that it was a bit longer.

This doesn't need an "18+" warning on it.

Dark and grim, this one is truly a well-written and a one of a kind story.
Nice one.

Bravo! So well written probably one of the best story games I have ever read in my life. Well done and I hope you make a second one somehow. :)

Worth reading, though it isn't particularly scary in my opinion. I could relate to the story quite well (Both main characters), because questions about madness, reality, dreams, delusions, etc. are often bouncing around my mind. If madness frightens you, or you dislike questioning things such as the nature of reality, this story may not be for you. Otherwise, go for it.

The writing is amazing. I was completely immersed in the story and played through it several times to see how everything plays out. Well done!

I liked it O_o

Pretty cool story.

"Shit"

That story made me speechless, I could really relate to some of that. No questions need to be asked. But Wow you really have some talent. Although it was meant to be dark but I dont know why it gave me some sort of joy! But really is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that was dark.
By the way, why did the girl commit suicide?

Awesome! The idea is completely original and I loved the storyline, it could have been a little bit longer, but no matter, it is completely fine as it is, the theme and plot was brilliant, and the language was very good, I didn't spot any grammatical errors either! Overall an excellent story. 6/8

This story was A M A Z I N G!!!!!!!!!

Great story! I like the dark, psychological horror setting that you quite decently described. I also like how the reader slowly learns who and what your protagonist actually is, with actual different endings based on the choices that the reader makes (which quite often is not the case with CYS stories).

I feel like the shortness of the pages helps with the setting, because it feels like the reader can read the short, incoherent thoughts of the 'protagonist'. However, I find it kind of a shame that the story in general was short. You can reach a 'true' ending after about 3-4 pages I guess and that is, in my opinion, a little bit too much on the short side.

I've decided to give your story a 6/8, because of the great writing, though I believe that a longer story with this same quality of writing could easily have gotten a 7/8.

Beautiful. Not really sure what's going on, though. I get that she killed people and is being kept somewhere. I also know that she is trying to fight her alter ego, who is controlling her and forcing her to do things. Still, who is the guy that Morker is afraid of? Where is the character? I would like to know the answers to these questions. Still, it is a very good game, and I believe it deserves the 6/8 I gave it. Good job.

This was actually quite well-written and had a very creepy vibe. Don't really know why it has such a bad rating.