Batman The Lost Member

Player Rating2.22/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 19 ratings since
played times (finished )

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level1/8

"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.

This is my first story its a little short so don't be too harsh. I made it more linear then choose your own story but i will make more that you can decide what to do. In time my fellow readers. I hope you enjoy it.

Player Comments

Awesome Does Not Approve
Well, I don't want to sound too harsh, but I skipped through the story. I don't like reading blocks and blocks of text, but dialogue the whole way?! As JM wrote below, description of character and setting is important. Try to insert dialogue when needed, and not at every nook and cranny. I am hoping a better version of this comes out.
(P.S: I want Two-Face!)
-- awesomeness1242 on 2/12/2013 10:08:43 PM with a score of 0
-- haledakota on 8/12/2012 4:52:59 PM with a score of 0
I never saw a choice, that's not a storygame.
-- ThisisBo on 8/9/2012 11:24:21 AM with a score of 0
I'm rating this story a 1 based only on the grounds that I'm not given any choices throughout the entire story. Branching is a key element of CYOA's and you didn't even attempt it.
-- playa988 on 8/9/2012 1:49:50 AM with a score of 0
It's a story, and a little incoherent at the start. Needs more punctuation too. Better than some first games though.
-- Xt1000305 on 8/9/2012 12:34:04 AM with a score of 0
there are no choices?!?
-- betaband on 8/8/2012 12:54:28 PM with a score of 0
I think you tried harder than most other new people on this site do on their first try. On the other hand, it did have some issues.

1. Try to add descriptions of characters and places, not just dialogue.

2. Since I'm playing as Batman, you should just say Batman does something, not me since I'm not him.(This isn't really all that important, just a preference.)

3. Add pictures. There are tons of cool Batman pics on the internet and I would suggest finding them.

4. Items. What's a Batman without some cool gadgets to play around with?

5. Linearity. Now my stories are quite linear too at times, which isn't a bad thing. For this story though, it read just like a book, not like a chooseyourstory kind of game.

And that's about it. Let me be clear though, this story isn't a waste of time and there are good parts too it. I'm sorry if it seems I'm bashing you, which I'm not. I'm just giving you an honest opinion(Which in the end, is just an opinion from one guy.)

I won't rate it because I think you're going to do better in the future.
-- JMgskills on 8/8/2012 11:09:02 AM with a score of 0
Thanks I will work on editing this and making more to fit the needs of the reader
-- dcguy22 on 8/8/2012 3:32:05 AM with a score of 0
Not the worst story on the site. However, this is a CYOA site, so the lack of options limits how enjoyable it can be to this audience. Punctuation can be improved. I'm fine with the dialogue-only style; I kinda like the change of pace from the usual same-old same-old.
-- urnam0 on 8/7/2012 11:33:02 PM with a score of 0
Thanks ill be sure to work on that.
-- dcguy22 on 8/7/2012 11:08:26 PM with a score of 0
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