Player Comments on Batman The Lost Member

Awesome Does Not Approve
Well, I don't want to sound too harsh, but I skipped through the story. I don't like reading blocks and blocks of text, but dialogue the whole way?! As JM wrote below, description of character and setting is important. Try to insert dialogue when needed, and not at every nook and cranny. I am hoping a better version of this comes out.
(P.S: I want Two-Face!)
3/8

THIS IS WORSE THAN TURD'S BIGFOOT GAME!

I never saw a choice, that's not a storygame.

I'm rating this story a 1 based only on the grounds that I'm not given any choices throughout the entire story. Branching is a key element of CYOA's and you didn't even attempt it.

It's a story, and a little incoherent at the start. Needs more punctuation too. Better than some first games though.

there are no choices?!?

I think you tried harder than most other new people on this site do on their first try. On the other hand, it did have some issues.

1. Try to add descriptions of characters and places, not just dialogue.

2. Since I'm playing as Batman, you should just say Batman does something, not me since I'm not him.(This isn't really all that important, just a preference.)

3. Add pictures. There are tons of cool Batman pics on the internet and I would suggest finding them.

4. Items. What's a Batman without some cool gadgets to play around with?

5. Linearity. Now my stories are quite linear too at times, which isn't a bad thing. For this story though, it read just like a book, not like a chooseyourstory kind of game.

And that's about it. Let me be clear though, this story isn't a waste of time and there are good parts too it. I'm sorry if it seems I'm bashing you, which I'm not. I'm just giving you an honest opinion(Which in the end, is just an opinion from one guy.)

I won't rate it because I think you're going to do better in the future.

Thanks I will work on editing this and making more to fit the needs of the reader

Not the worst story on the site. However, this is a CYOA site, so the lack of options limits how enjoyable it can be to this audience. Punctuation can be improved. I'm fine with the dialogue-only style; I kinda like the change of pace from the usual same-old same-old.

Thanks ill be sure to work on that.

It's not bad for such a linear story. I do wish that there were descriptions rather than just lines of dialogue. Maybe you could describe their appearance and such? Or the surroundings? I look forward to seeing you build on it :)