Player Comments on Case Closed

Purpose: Puzzle games are generally meant to make you think. This one simply doesn't. For a murder mystery case there is nothing here to figure out. A few vague crimes with nonsensical evidence, no suspects, and hardly a real decision or riddle to be found. The text either tells you what to do directly or is set up in such a convoluted way that you can only proceed through sheer guesswork. There is hardly a story here at all, and nothing feels very "puzzle about it". Quite frankly, it completely fails to meet its goals.

Writing/Grammar: This game was written a very long time ago, and my first assumption is that the author is a child. Say, first or second grade? There is at least one typo per page (and seeing as each page is maybe 1-3 sentences, that's quite a high frequency.) Capitalization, punctuation, spelling, dialogue, structure - all absent here. Honestly, it was difficult to read. It seems like the author had some fun ideas, but needs a lot more time and editing before being ready to publish them.

Plot: There's not much of a plot here at all. Any plot points are hastly added to force the reader to use the it, and half the time it basically tells you "Hey, use this!" There really isn't any mystery here. I think elaboration would really help you out here. We're solving a crime, right? Who was the victim? How do we go about establishing motive, meeting suspects, interacting with other officers? Why did the culprit come back to the scene, and why would showing him her passport make him confess? It wouldn't usually, but if you came up with an interesting story reason his reaction would be far more sensical and engaging. Ask similar questions about the second arc. Find what makes sense. Cut what doesn't.

Setting: Detective stories can have a feeling all their own. They can be suspenseful, dark, humorous... it all depends on how you describe their environment. The black fedora - wearing PI in a room filled with cigar smoke, the hardened cop working the night streets, the cheerful rookie following a strong sense of justice... there are so many cliches which could give you a starting point. But here there's... nothing. No descriptions of the environment at all.

Characters: I feel like you never get to know the characters in this story. The protagonist has no internal monologue to go off of. The other characters last for no more than one page, and their personalities are practically nonexistent. Nobody even has a name. "Drug dealer", "man with gun", "lead investigator"... I just read this and I only vaguely remember that these people exist. There's nothing to learn, nobody to get attached to. Think about these people. Who are they? Why are they there? What's going on in their heads and in their lives? The reader may never need to know the full answers, but the author does. Otherwise you end up with nameless figures spitting one-liners for the entirety of the game.

Branching: The "choices" in this game were honestly infuriating. Which is hard to do, since it's hard to get mad at something that doesn't exist. Outside of 2-3 "restart" links, every page either has you pick up some item or traps you until you use one. It's so easy to get trapped without the items you need just by trying in vain to explore. Needed items randomly disappear f you make a single wrong choice, and trying to get through to an end game link feels like an impossible slog. It looks like this person was attempting to make full use of the items system, but PLEASE at least have something to back it up.

Conclusion: 1/8. This was honestly painful. This game is very old so I doubt the author will ever see this comment, but I hope they have made great strides in their writing since this. There's nothing wrong with starting out bad of course (everyone does), but this was absolutely not ready to be published. I hope they took the ideas they had and learned to express them in a much better way.

... What? ... Why? ... I... I don't... I can't... No! You have to follow a period with space! Why the hell would you do that? I swear to God, seeing all those periods followed by the first letter of the next sentence has actually, physically given me a headache... And I don't get headaches... Just, why?

easiest game of all shit

I thought it was cool.

Oh boy, where do I even start?
First, there were some spelling errors. Make sure if there's a red line under the word you just typed, you fix it so there is no red line!!
Next, this was completely unrealistic. I'm a detective, right? Why do I buy drugs from someone? And how am I able to buy a plane ticket to who knows where with drugs? And how am I able to get through security with someone else's passport? And how am I able to carry around tire tracks with me? Is it a picture, or...? And why the heck would I jump out my window because I apparently hate my job? And why is "NO" and option for another assignment when you can't even click it? And why am I able to carry around evidence from previous investigations? Shouldn't they be in the evidence room or something? And.....!!!!
You know what I mean.
I also didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. All I got was "Someone drowned," "There's the killer," "Ew, airplane food," and other things that just didn't make sense.
Another thing: this story has very short descriptions. You should expand on details a little - no, a lot - more. Just putting it out there. You also have to give me more choices, because I felt like I was being forced into situations I did not want to be in.
Finally, when I die by getting shot or jumping out a window, they need different death pages. It made no sense when I died and there were two descriptions on there. Being normal, I automatically read everything put there, instead of just one thing. There was an option for different death pages in the editing mode, I know that, so why did you put them together?
I could go on and on about how you could make this "story" better. But I won't, because I'm out of time. I gave it a 1/8, but I had trouble choosing between 1/8 or 2/8. I think if you gave it more detail and plot, and also gave us a background of what we're doing, then you would definitely get a higher rating.
Please forgive me if this seems a bit harsh or offensive to you, I am sorry. I give my criticism for good purposes, because I believe that if you follow at least some of my advice, this could potentially be a great story-game. :)

"Sneak out the window:Did i say you're office was very high? No? Sorry then."

No, but I prefer that option of staying ALIVE after sneaking out the window. ;)

"I'm assaining you to a easier case.Will you accept"
And what is with that 'No' button that I can't seem to select?

It's just too simple and not much of a mystery at all! =D

I love detective. That's why I love this game. 6/8

Okay, this had some stuff going for it...but it was a total mess. This was all over the place and very linear. The investigator asks you for the autopsy report, and the only way forward is to give him the gun. If you die, then it always pretends you leaped out the window.

It was a really good story thing. I loved it. I just wish that it was a little longer.

This spelling was disgusting.

Horrible grammar

Poor spelling, bad grammar, terrible punctuation, awful dialogue, lack of logic in solving crimes. At least it was short.

;-; I don't even know how to start with all the mistakes in this story.
Why in the world would you leave a passport by the guy you murdered?
What was with the drug dealer? And the ticket seller?
And just all the grammar mistakes...
I think I'm going to listen to the voice in MY head and give this a 1/8

A terrorist wakes up everyone on the plane and.. demands money? Doesn't that fucker realize that the cops are just gonna fucking fill him with lead the moment he steps off the plane?

The ticket seller looks like a drug addict... What in fuck's mind were you thinking...

BTW nice comment Will11. It summarizes the story in a few sentences.

What I learned in this game:
1) If you're going to kill someone don't leave your passport with the body.
2) Don't leave a loaded gun with the body and then wait in plain sight.
3) Now that you are unarmed don't attack the police officer who has just picked up your loaded gun.
4) Apparently drugs are valid currency for buying airline tickets.
5) Nobody reacts if you shoot and kill terrorists on domestic flights anymore.
6) It is possible to pass off a dead girl's passport as your own, even if you are male.
7) You should shoot first and look for proof later when encountering people who your narrator (inner voice?) tell you are murderers.

?
The grammar had many mistakes, and the plot was confuzzling, but a little more effort and this can be a great game.

Quoting the great Robert Griffin III, "This sucked".

Great story! Actually one of the best I've read, but like everyone else said, you have super bad grammar. 5/8

Very single track, terrible spelling and atrocious grammar.
Shame really.

The idea of being a detective was pretty fun. I liked how you were able to use items around. There are 3 short chapters of detective-work. However, the only thing that sets this off is that the grammar is really bad! It was as if it was written by an 8-year old. Someone compared it to a fourth grader below me, but when I was in fourth grade I had way decent grammar. Here is a snippet from the story just so that you can get an idea:

"Thanks for the autopsy report.You should find the killer somewhere in the woods behind me.*1 hour later*
There he is! Shoot him!"

Other than that it was fine. 4/8.

This story has shit grammar, a linear storyline, is way too easy, and is just boring. Are you a fourth grader? You certainly write like one.

How was I able to bring a gun on a plane? Also, the story kept jumping around and the spelling was pretty bad. On the other hand, I liked your use of items.

There isn't any choice in what you can do, details do not make a good story, but still provides a little entertainment. 3/8

not very fun

Liked the use of all the items, but it wasn't much of a murder mystery since you don't know who was killed or why. Plus one time I shot a guy and fell out a window. How'd that happen?

This game had a good story, but you need to use more descriptive paragraphs. Also, at the start, make sure that they know they need to get the autopsy report. I didn't so I had to use the back button to get it. Good try though!

Awesome Approves!
Although I approve, you still have multiple grammer errors, and quotation marks would have been helpful. Also, if I try to shoot a guy in the head, I somehow end up falling out of a window? Better fix that, but if I was meant to die, make a new page. All in all, not bad.
4/8

That game was just terrible

not the best game but it was fun

stupid

ever heard of a thing called "quotation marks"????

Great game!!

Besides the fact that it was very linear, it has the potential to be a very good game. I think if you add more options and fix the grammar mistakes, it would be a lot better.

good

How on Earth did I get a firearm and illegal substances on an airplane?!?!

It's an all right story, but it's fairly linear and the spelling and grammar need work as they make it confusing at times.

An entertaining (though linear) game! I liked how you used the items. Can't wait to play your sequel!

Once again, this could be a good game. Terrible dialogue and confusing writing take a lot away.

good game like the first chapter

Really,This is my first game ^_^.
To nate: I'm not english.I don't know it that good

I played this game again, and it was fun! I like your use of items!

i played the completed version now and its still missing some effort. misspelled words and story are a bit inconsistant. also, add more description to the pages. background, scenery, people so forth.

I'm truely impressed with this game, you've created games before this haven't you? :P

Awesome!

It was a fun concept, but there are a few things

1. Item drops: When you give the junkie the drugs, you should drop them.

2. If you skip the drugs, you have to keep clicking back until you get to the dealer again.

3. Drugs. Plane. Security. How?

4. Detectives usually have their own guns, and don't keep case evidence.

5. Spend a bit more time on the spelling, and you could maybe add to this game like once every two months if you could, I actually really liked it.

Great first game! Grammar can be worked on, but everything else seems ok!

definately could use some work. however, a decent amount of effort, and a detective story are cool. just keep working on it.

Needs work, but a fair start