Dave: Big Dickin'it adventure!

When I read the title of this story I thought it might have an interesting narrative to it. What was Dave and his big dickin it adventure going to bring to the table that these other stories have not before?

Well apparently not much. I am saddened that the title is the most exciting part of this story. I say this because the plot threads of this story feel like they were strung together by a developing 5th graders brain as he was swinging on monkey bars at recess.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this but how did a sweaty loser like Dave end up with the freaking Batmobile, force powers, and a job with a magic teleported to Hawaii and Cancun? If your goal was to be funny I wasn’t amused because you tried to go for too many ideas at once. You reached for the stars and pulled down mediocrity which is the existence of Dave along with most other people.

I mean if you’d turned this into a matrix fanfic that would have at least made more sense than straight up murdering an alien species you don’t even know or stealing the Batmobile and killling people with it.

Stories are fun because they allow us to suspend our belief for a moment and explore a different place and time rather than the unsatisfying moments of life. Well life can be satisfying in it’s own way, and it’s all about perspective. From Dave’s perspective, I feel like I got some insight about you as the author.

You too want a more exciting life filled with adventure so you made this cringeworthy game filled with a slew of spelling and grammar errors to reflect the imagination of something more meaningful than what you feel like your life is now. Well go out and make your own adventure you don’t need to follow Dave’s adventure to have a life filled with meaning and purpose you can find contentment with what you do with your own life and if that means creating stories than go for it!

I’m still rating this storygame low though because it frankly is not that great.
The insane jump between maximum carnage on the roadway to teleporting back to your house to get the millennium falcon was too big a leap in logic for me to comprehend. Also, there’s too many leaps of logic like this throughout the story for me to recommend it as a funny random story.

In summary, intriguing start and a disappointing climax.

Many years ago, Madglee unpublished his games, to free up other featured game spots for newer titles that weren't as highly rated. Most notably, my favorite game of his, "Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight". As someone who never fully beat the game after numerous attempts, this left me with a great void of closure in my life, and I've been looking for a way to fill in the narrative ever since. Between the magic ancient artifacts, the mysterious leprechaun, I had only just begun to unveil something greater behind its plot. And I never fully experienced the wider magical conspiracy that this pulse-pounding psychological crime thriller was hinting at, that only a select few true IF Gamers have ever found, and now, ever will find, for all of time and ever more. I missed my window.

Which brings me to this game. While originally I was only reading this story to build a legal case and sue this person for titling their story "Big Dickin' It" (which is the name and single of my autobiographical hip-hop album.) I came to appreciate this tale as something with more potential. Did it actually live up to that potential? Well, obviously not, but some games can truly spark wonder in a man, to muse about what could've been.

Like "Mommy", which is lost to us, Dave: Big Dickin'it Adventure follows the titular character through an average day in the life of a man struggling with a dangerous past. What would be an average day to most is a battle for the main character, and one of the principle struggles of the narrative is how the player chooses to deal with these struggles as they are repeatedly called to action by the day's inconveniences, and the dark side of their mind threatens to lash out each time. Only through familiarity with our demons, and proper knowledge of when to use them, can we truly overcome the struggles present in the story.

Though, rather than the high-pressure environment that Mommy presents, Big Dickin' it takes us on a journey to the life and times of a salaryman in Ames, Iowa, circa 2012. Dave Svoboda is not a psychiatrist with a smokin' hot girlfriend, but a simple man with a simple life. He works in an office, he hates his alarm clock, he drives a prius, all the standard things for life in middle america around this time period.

But things in this world are never as they seem. While it is entirely possible to go to work and survive a normal day, there is a constant pressure to veer off course into surreality. The option is there on every page. It's not just a choice, but THE choice. Every choice on the main path is either to do the normal thing or the insane thing. And there is no coming back from the latter. Nearly every choice to take a "calm" option after you've picked an unusual one leads only to an abrupt and violent end. Unlike Mommy, the main character's madness is not a dangerous threshold, but a precipice- A leap into the darkness, from which there is no safe return.

But this approach places style above substance. It does not take up root in a grounded reality that gives the respective austerity or insanity of my choices meaning. The world of Big Dickin' It is a subjective reality that morphs itself to my decisions and makes the tame options seem almost insane themselves.

In this game, I've been chased by the US Air Force through the skies of Ames Iowa while at the helm of the Millenium Falcon. I've launched missiles out of my car, causing a traffic disaster that upended an oil tanker, leaving the fiery death of hundreds of people in my rear view mirror. I've become deeply embroiled in the politics of a far-off galactic empire, rescued a beautiful princess with my psychic powers, and become king of the galaxy. I've taken the elevator ride to Cancun to see the Black Howard Dean.

But did I feel any of that while reading this? No. There was just something missing about it. That tactile sense of being there, in the moment. From the very opening of the story, it's hard to buy the idea that Dave is truly real. The journey and trepidations that lie between Dave and his place of work, are not presented in a believable way, and Dave himself, as a character, is a spastic buffoon who doesn't react to his extraordinary life in the way any human being would. The result is this feeling of emptiness. This feeling that every step of the quest has had missing pieces. It's as if this very game I've played in search of fulfillment, has only served to exacerbate the emptiness I felt when I began.

1/8, fuck you, you'll be hearing from my lawyers.

It wasn't terrible. It's one of those 'random' games. It's pretty funny at points and there are quite a few branches. That said, it really could have done with proofreading. There was a noticeable lack of capitalisation and punctuation, especially speech marks. A little bit more description and backstory wouldn't hurt, either. This has potential to be better.

Best to click until you find an ending, rather than actually read through because that would take fOrEvERRrr

I don't know if this is meant to be so... random, and I don't know if I'm offending you in any way, but this is a bit confusing.
Maybe I'd talk about the grammar first. Please, just please capitalise the letter at the start of a sentence. It makes it look neater. The tense is alright, I guess.
Might as well describe the character and his surroundings more. Who is he? Where is he and what is he planning? What is his goal? Going to work? Oh.
Has two to three options, which is okay, I guess. But maybe when the reader goes on the wrong path, you could make a path which leads them back to the right path, and one continuing to the wrong path.
Other than all of that, I think it's just a little too random, getting a sort of flying machine suddenly and get a message and the game ends.
The writing was actually good, and at some points it was funny. I saw that you actually put effort into it. Rated 3/8

This is goofy, but lacks a real plot. Another thing: your grammar could use a lot of work. You don’t add periods at the end of sentences, and you have quite a few run-on sentences.

It wasn’t horrible, however. You have good branching, and your story makes people laugh. The problem is, your story lacks plot and is hard to get wrapped up in.

Length is also a problem, as it is very short. I completed it in about a minute, and got through all the paths in about three minutes. Overall, a good 4/8. Not the best, but certainly not the worst.

This was mildly entertaining, but it was kind of a waste of my time. It felt sort of half-assed and unfinished. It reminds me of one other story I read long ago, but I can't remember what it was.

3/8

It's random and confusing. Seriously. And the grammatical errors and spellings errors made it even more confusing. You go from sitting in traffic to fighting a sith crab person, to being the king of a city in space. Honestly, it'd be a 2 or 1 out of 8 if it wasn't so hilarious. The total nonsensical nature makes it rather entertaining, although it still doesn't make any sense.

That was so random and barely comprehensible.

This was actually very entertaining. This is gonna be my guilty pleasure storygame from now on. 4/8