Player Comments on Death Becomes You

Ooooh! That's a cool idea!

Spoilers below:

After reading this you have to ask, that feeling of deja vu could it be that you'd died and gotten another shot at life?

Anyways, like I said above it's a very cool idea, but you didn't manage to quite pull it off.

First off, the title is kind of confusing, and the summary is pretty vague and sorta uninteresting. When I first played this, I wasn't sure if the title was alluding to the fact that I'm Death, or if I'm gonna die in some way.

There were a few spelling/grammar mistakes, which could have been easily fixed, but I'd rather not dwell on that.

There was a lack of details...and honestly, the ending felt pretty boring to me. Really, it's a wonderful idea but I didn't like your writing, and it was too short.

As it is 3/8.

Pretty average.

The spelling grammar needs work, as I noticed multiple errors in punctuation, and spelling. Remember not to rush storygames, and spend plenty of time proofreading to make sure mistakes like this aren't present.

The concept really was good, but i'm not sure it was executed very well. The plot had incredible potential, but the writing that captures the story was rather disappointing.

Descriptions were quite vague, and the storygame itself felt rushed because of the short length, little detail on most pages, and linear setting.

The writing itself wasn't exactly bad, it just needed a little polish. You need more character development and detail to make a storygame work, especially with a plot as vague and open ended as this one.

I'll say 3/8, it needs a lot of work, but it's a great concept and the writing was average.

It was kinda alright I guess.

If it was your first story game here I'd say you did alright in understanding how it works. It's not written to complicated and the pages are extremely short. I'm not sure if there was much thinking behind this but it was good to kill some time. 3/8

It was an okay story, a quick read for sure. I think you should expand a little more, this could definitely be an interesting concept. Also even when I agreed to the first question, it acted like I didn't for the second And the first? Think you should continue though.

It should be longer but is still good

Interesting concept, but could have had a lot more content. Some more mythology, more details, more consequences, etc.

Nice

Interesting idea, though it could be expanded on, particularly in the reincarnations at various points or in the 'live again' option. Either way, what you have is pretty solid, if a bit brief, and I would say I enjoyed it, though I wouldn't rave about it.

It is a really good story

Wow, neat idea. Really liked it.

The concept and was rather nice, but there were a few issues. The grammar mistakes were a little distracting, and the details were sparse. There's also the fact that if you choose to talk the first time but then stay silent, the story acts as though you've chosen to stay silent twice.

I enjoyed it, though it might be better if it were a bit longer.

Yay I cleaned up my act!

I liked your game but I'd like it if it was longer.

This was an iteresting idea but I was very short

I liked the idea of the story, but the reincarnation part could've been a little more... Subtle or... Different?

It was short and a bit dry if it carried through the lunch and a little after it probably would have been better.

Good

It was shorter than expected, but I liked the style of writing

I liked your idea but I didn't like the story. If you added a little more it would have been better.

It-was-easy-to-get-to-the-best-ending-on-the-first-try

I thought I would play as the grim reaper or something. The name misled me.

Eh, it was decent.

The story had a nice, interesting concept to it and i liked the way it was written. Almost no grammar mistakes. However, i suggest that you add a bit more detail to your summary. The one you have is quite short and not interesting at all. If i were another person, i probably wouldn't be excited to read the story.

It's an okay idea, but needs technical polish.

You know, sometimes I wonder, "What if Death became me?"... Then I read this game, hoping to find out, and found out that I just died instead. It was a bit of a let down in that respect, but it was a very interesting game nonetheless.

More poignant than expected.
5/8