Player Comments on Disney+ and Thrust
Pretty cool story 8/10
on 3/21/2020 8:43:58 PM with a score of 0
This is a wonderful short story about the difficulties of modern dating.
Why is an attractive woman interested in me? Is she genuinely interested? Is she bringing snacks? Is she here to rob me? Is she some sort of serial killer? Is this date cursed?
Play this game to find out.
on 1/6/2020 1:00:55 AM with a score of 0
The third person makes the story even weirder and bizarre. It is mesmerizing and entertaining. However, I am totally out of the story because the dialogues are totally unrealistic and characters change personality from Choices Stella is totally different between choices. And the whole Disney + is incredible.
on 1/5/2020 9:03:25 AM with a score of 0
I'm never a fan of the death on first choice options, but I'm left wondering if this wasn't supposed to be a longer path that you just didn't get around to finishing.
Overall, I enjoyed the story, and it was amusing.
Mild SPOILERS below:
Though like Bill, I don't see why Stella was fairly rationale in the one path and a psycho self-mutilator in the other. It just seems like an internal inconsistency. And I also think the thieving thing seemed like it should have had more flesh to it for it to really work here.
My biggest gripe is the sketchy as all get out e-mail address and the free Disney+ account. That combo was just screaming to draw attention to itself, but nothing was really done with it later in the story. Not so much Chekov's Gun but Chekov's Red Herring. For story purposes, the protagonist could have just as easily bought a Disney+ subscription or got a free trial. We never did get an explanation as to why Disney monsters were attacking us from the TV. I suppose it served as some foreshadowing, but I think it could have been pulled off better.
on 1/4/2020 10:02:38 PM with a score of 0
Well, this wasn't exactly what I expected when I first saw the story summary. I quite liked this. The writing was well-polished, with good foreshadowing given for various events. I loved your use of different fonts / text sizes for lines from the Disney movies. Your characterization of the protagonist and Stella is believable.
There are a wide diversity of pathways to follow, with perhaps a dozen endings (approximately), including the bad ones. Reading through any individual path won't take long. Almost every page presents the reader with a choice, and the pages themselves are relatively short, so there's certainly a high degree of interactivity. Some of the choices in the beginning of the game lead to entirely different branches, so the writing itself wasn't repetitive. I wasn't expecting an immediate bad ending when you swiped left, on the first page, but I thought the proceeding dialogue was funny. Beyond that, the steps required to reach the 'good ending' for each of the two main pathways is pretty clear.
I thought this was a nice piece overall. 6/8.
on 1/4/2020 8:59:28 PM with a score of 0
It's unfortunate that first choice led to an end-game link, as there was an adequate amount of branching in the rest of the story. If that branch wasn't needed, then why even put a choice at that point in the story? Why not just skip it and let the reader proceed to the main body of the story?
The writing was good, as was the premise: familiar-but-nameless Disney characters coming to life, using items commonly found in an apartment to fight them off.
However, I thought the pacing was too rushed, and I couldn't get a grasp on Stella. In one branch she proclaims herself to be both "the beauty and the beast," setting up the expectation that she's some kind of self-mutilating Prospero conjuring up all this badness. Elsewhere, she's just a blank-eyed distraction, meant to keep Tyler occupied while the men in black (I've lost tracked; is that franchise owned by Disney now too?) rob the apartment (a subplot that seems tacked on and superfluous, given everything else that is going on).
Basically, there was a lot to admire here, although the execution fell just a tad short.
on 1/4/2020 11:48:09 AM with a score of 0
Well, that was fun! It was noticeably incomplete though. I was excited for this idea when the author first talked about it, but it seemed a bit too ambitious back then... spoilers will be everywhere from now on, so read the game.
The first death was where the other two girls and branches were supposed to be right? My one complaint there is that you would have to deny the first girl to even see what the second two were like. Having a choice between all three would make more sense.
Back to what was actually written, I know early endings are frowned upon, but my opinion is that it depends on how the ending fits into the narrative. The author does a better job with an early ending in his previous game that I really liked, but in this one it does add to the story in my opinion. Two things are made clear if you choose to swipe left: first, Stella’s match is rather suspicious. This is hinted at when describing her profile, but when you have no other matches you wonder why this strange girl did match with you... Second, you have to wonder why Tyler doesn’t survive his night alone watching Disney+. I think the ending does a good job foreshadowing. However, I still would have rather seen the other two branches.
The story was short, so there wasn’t much time to build suspense. Still, it was well written and enjoyable. It was more funny than scary, which is how I prefer things anyway, but I don’t know if this is really a “romance” or a “horror”. It had elements of both so it fits the prompt, though.
All of the choices made sense, but some of the plot was lacking. Stella came over with suspicious eagerness. Later, in the frozen branch, we find out it is to rob you. Funny and makes everything make sense, but what if you choose the Beauty and the Beast choice? Why isn’t she trying to rob you then? Why isn’t she crazy in the frozen branch? What is wrong with her in the beauty and the beast branch anyway? I didn’t think it took away from the story that much, but some things were inconsistent.
Overall, it was a good short story. For what was written, there was a decent amount of branching and variety. More time would make this original story idea into something spectacular, but for now it is just a good idea, from a great writer, with okay execution.
on 1/4/2020 10:55:15 AM with a score of 0
This story was certainly inventive. There was a bit of mystery, a bit of romance, and many ways to die. I didn't expect a whole lot from the first page, but it was surprisingly amusing in it's twists and turns. I do think it could have had better branching, as the first real choice leads to a game over, and there isn't a lot of replay value once you find a non-death ending.
But parts of it were funny, or interestingly absurd, and I did find myself rooting for the main character to survive. So that's something.
on 1/4/2020 1:05:46 AM with a score of 0
This game is hilarious and unpredictable. I did not expect this an entry to the Year's End contest to be funny. The game was short, but it's better to go out on top than to over-stay your welcome. This story cements the superiority of Netflix and Hulu over its new competitor. I was never a fan of the disney movies anyway.
on 1/3/2020 9:43:22 PM with a score of 0
The thing about white girls on tindr is that they ALL really like Beauty and The Beast and Frozen. It's practically a rule of nature. Ratatouille is clearly the greatest Disney animated film, but y'all too basic. Anyways.
Just like these basic tindr gorls, it's short, dumb, and fun. I mean, the game is over in a blink of an eye but you added enough endings and gusto to make it totally worth the clicks. It's clear you're a decent writer. I appreciate this! I don't remember any spelling or grammar mistakes either (or maybe my eyes just glazed over).
The one thing I find very unrealistic is the hand-me-down sword. Assuming this is a male 20-something working at Denny's or whatever, he'd clearly have a katana he bought off ebay. And he'd be very proud of it. My best friend, who is also a 20-something who dates lots of tindr ho's has a katana and he is very proud of it. It is embarrasing, but probably a rite of passage for middle-class sadboys everywhere.
on 1/3/2020 9:37:50 PM with a score of 0