Player Comments on Gender in Post-Secondary Education

Think I'll have to echo everyone else's advice. You really should have left this in your profile on sneak peek and just given the link with your teacher. Stories posted publicly here are supposed to provide some kind of entertainment, and this was incredibly dry and honestly didn't even have much in the way of choices. Every path I saw was pretty much identical. Ask for advice - pick a school or job - get pregnant!

And I know this was pointed out already too, but it is a little odd that pregnancy is mandatory, yet she never once manages to get in a relationship with anyone on any path, and apparently never bothers to so much as learn a guy's name before having unprotected sex with him.

Okay, this was ridiculous. I get that you did this for an assignment for school, but this is a writing site.

Hey! You went to college! Hey! You're a stupid slut that doesn't know about birth control. Of course, you could just be a very devout Catholic, I guess, in which case, props to you? Maybe not so much after the abortion. Catholic Jesus won't like that.

But seriously, random nonsense like that just kills stories. You just lose the reader.

Most of your writing is reasonably acceptable. You rely far to heavily on passive language and really just focus on writing a project rather than an actual story. But on the latter note, you have to choose a better medium for your assignment.

Yet still, I'm missing the point you're trying to make. Is the protagonist in this case supposed to be such a whore that she doesn't know who the baby daddy is? It's not like guys can just knock up girls and get off without paying child support. I mean, they do in some cases, but if we're talking about norms, then, no, they don't. There are social costs for every decision we make, both men and women. And pre-marital sex is one with rewards/consequences for both genders. Why are you forcing a choice and cost on one gender, while apparently trying to illustrate a point about it, without exploring the typical results of the opposite gender's decision? Or at least acknowledging it? At any rate, I think this is where this written work fails the most, as it's not a story, yet still fails on it's actual goal of making a noteworthy comment on gender and education.

It was what it was meant to be.

meh. it was O.K. definitely not the best 4/8

Interesting. I liked it.

Very well done. Lots I didn't know, and even more I didn't understand, but this was totally educational. It wasn't the best, certainly wasn't the worst. 5/8. (I kept the baby. Don't know how I got it tho)...

When I say slightly more fun than homework I mean this is actually homework that is a tiny bit fun. I understand that for a class project you don't need a lot of character development or plot elements but for a story you do. I'd do what others have suggested and put this in sneak peek mode for just your prof. It's a decent foundation for a better story if you wanted to come back and add to it later.

I've noticed a discrepancy in here. Two years of a college education cannot let one be certified for being a full-time teacher. Instead, two years allows one to be a substitute teacher. Also, don't listen to Malk. He's very... blunt.

Nonetheless, I suggest that you unpublish the storygame, turn on sneak-peaks (if it hasn't been done already), and send your instructor the link. He or she could view it only if the sneak previews have been turned on.

This is a site for entertainment, first and foremost. If your story isn't applicable to the community at hand, don't bother publishing it; use sneak peak.

Also sociology isn't real science and gay marriage is bogus