Player Comments on His Little Secret

Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate your constructive criticism, it's made me think more about how to change future stories for the better. You made some great suggestions that I am going to take on board :) @Allusional

How about putting some of the background information in the story itself? Don't get me wrong, it's a nice plot, but the reader can't always rely on the description alone to tell them about the game. Start the game off at an easy walking pace before jumping into the action. The story would be better if you make the choice links short so the reader WON'T know what will happen next--it keeps the reader interested. Be sure to mix up the links too, because it seems like the top links are the "stay with him" choice and the bottom links are the "stay away" choices. The endings are also rather unsatisfying, because it's almost like a cliffhanger.

However, the writing flows easily and the characters were well-developed. The reader can feel some empathy for the protagonist and the other characters--depending on what they choose. It is nice that is has many endings and it is interesting to find them all. I look forward to reading more of your work!

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that you thought it was weird @ Loudleaf. Thanks for playing anyway.

Its weird dark