Player Comments on Hotel California
This story was really, really good and I really enjoyed it. Sadly, I don’t know what fan fiction this story is about, but I personally like stories that have a bit of supernatural aspect to them. So, at first, I had no clue what to expect when reading this story, but it delivered.
So first off it would be nice if on the first page or something you could explain what fan fiction this story is about. This is because starting of the story I was so confused because it started with you going to jail. I didn’t know what reason I didn’t know why until the second page which was kind off an information rush. I probably would have rated this story a six, but it was really confusing what was going on for the first few pages. But once I got the summary of what was going on I finally understood what was happening and it made sense to me.
Basically, the game is about a guy with powers going to jail to get killed or something he escapes with some dude who dies. Than he goes to some hotel which is alive and has no clue what was going on and he escapes the game is pretty long and has a steep learning curve, but I liked it. It would’ve been a lot of better if it was more explanative.
Now instead of talking about what you did wrong let’s talk about what you did right. First off good story overall, second good grammar it was very descriptive of what was going on and it was long enough to keep you interested and not bored. I like your use of items and I liked how you incorporated the feeling of being trapped in an unending loop by using variables. I can tell that your scripting and variable use is really good and way better than mine.
Lastly im going to talk about the last thing that happens in the game the final battle. The items don’t work I got all three and it didn’t improve my luck or intelligence or maybe something im not aware of happened but I didn’t think it worked.
on 9/18/2019 11:56:22 AM with a score of 106
The looping structure of this game is not especially fun to read; more unique text or interesting description would probably work better. More importantly, the grammar situation is deeply in need of work--possessive issues, run-on sentences, and spelling issues are really distracting.
This is wholly aside from the way the links stop working in your room--I ran into a few times where I had to start over, because neither link worked at all.
on 8/26/2019 7:15:09 PM with a score of 59
NO, THIS IS PATRICK!
on 8/23/2019 2:18:09 PM with a score of 92
Is this the Krusty Krab?
on 8/23/2019 12:11:42 AM with a score of 84