Player Comments on It's going down for real

Arrrgghhhhh! WHY i ask WHY is this RATED G!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT GETTING DRUNK!!! AND THE DESCRITPTION SAYS NOTHING ABOUT IT!!! I dont usally get mad about other people work because i cant usally do much better but-seriousley?!?
1/8 ??????

Omg why is rated g?!? I dont want to play a story about getting drunk when i am just a tween! Im like 12 years! Yet thos was rated 4+! One of the only reasons why i didnt quit right away was because i wanted to post this comment!

Ey bau5

You can't choke in closets.

I disagree with Mizal and Will11 and think all shit stories should get panned for being, well... shit. Just because you're new doesn't mean you should feel free to slack off and pump out these crap-slogs for the world to see.

Burn it with fire and try again, 1/8.

It was too short, not enough choices, and it had tons of spelling errors. I gave it a 2/8 because it could be a lot better.

I agree with Mizal to an extent that not-great new stories don't deserve immediate abuse but for something to be rated 5/8 it in my opinion requires a length of more than 1/8, spell checked work, more sentences per page, more named characters with personalities, plot development and extensive story branching (there was some plot development but it was sudden and slightly random), properly formatted paragraphs and correct use of grammar or punctuation and freedom from slang, though I suppose depending on the cultural setting and backgrounds of the dialogue this is more ambigous (though I did find Jim made Huckleberry Finn practically unreadable...).

Anyway I think this is a reasonable first effort that deserves higher than a 1/8 but definitely not a 5, I'd average it around a 3/8. Keep writing and work on longer and longer stories and improvement is almost inevitable.

*lurk, lurk* Oh, look, a new storygame! This one must be good!

*after less than a minute of reading* ....

Never mind.

~~~

This storygame was short and didn't have much dialogue, logical sense, or plot. I'd consider unpublishing this and working on it longer than a day.

It's not perfect, but good try for a newbie. :)

I rated it 5/8. Keep writing more like this!

P.S. Just ignore all the trolls.

This is so shitty, that I don't even have the time or effort to use my own words. This is so shitty, it doesn't even deserve its own proper review, so here's a segment of another review for something that isn't even as shitty as this, because it gets the point across without me having to expend the effort of something as fucking stupidly shitty as this goddamn game.

http://www.tubechop.com/watch/7866954

Congratulations, you managed to violate several laws of science and logic in just a few short pages. Well done.

Urgh, the worst part is that it isn't a complete story, on top of the mediocre-at-best English conventions, very few details about the party itself and just a bland cast of characters.

The grammar sucked, every choice but one led to instant death in a shitty say such as slipping in a bathroom l, suffocating in an apparently airtight wardrobe or being shot by a police captain for being at a party. There was no real plot... or setting... or actual characters with personalities. It seems like you put no work into it, gave up and slapped on a "To be continued..."