Player Comments on Life or death survival

First you’re really mean second fuck your stupid dumb story niggas

I wish there were more survival things in this game. Not just land, water, and sky. And when we choose one I wish we would have more than one obstacle to go through.

Thanks for calling me stupid in this story...
Maybe need age 8-12 min.
2/8 stars...

Another of those obviously pretty terrible stories from back when the site had no standards. Wouldn't survive if posted today.

Interesting concept, but not worth playing as is. It has countless grammatical errors and insults your choices.

It was interesting, but strange animal choices, strange.

Brace yourself. The writing was not mediocre. In fact, I think that you should remove this story game and EDIT it. There are COUNTLESS mistakes. I do not think that this story was decent. I thought that it was downright horrible and it probably took you half an hour to create this game. The writing was terrible, and I hated the unrealistic options: "you are considered the snake's baby." Seriously? I'm guessing that this game was made a pathetic fifth or fourth grader. If I could, I would rate this story a -5/10. Sadly, I rated it a 1/10. You should spend more time fixing this game. It has future potential, even though it is crap right now. Actually, kid. Read some highly rated story-games. You might get some ideas. I'm guessing that this is your first game. Sorry if this was a bit rude, but I will have to criticize your book. Please take the time to EDIT your story game. Play it, and see what needs to be improved. And Jay.. You don't just climb a tree to escape a lion. They can climb trees. You either slowly walk away, or you make yourself appear bigger. If you want to improve your story game do this:

1) Make your options realistic.
2) Add many pages.
3) EDIT your goddamn book.
4) Play it over to see what can be improved.
5) Ask some people to test out your game before it is ready for the public.
6) Play the highest rated games to get an idea. I suggest playing EndMaster's games or Briar_Rose's games. They have fantastic games, and will inspire you.

Again, please forgive me for the harsh criticism, but you did need to hear this. My games in the future may be pathetic, but I will try to use those helpful tips that I listed.

Good except it called me stupid for ummmmmmm running from a lion hey you walk up to a lion and not run

Let me be brutally blunt here.

The writing was mediocre at best, unfortunately. Such little detail, such a great amount of spelling/grammar errors. I know nothing about my character. What kind of fish am I? What kind of bird am I? In the "land survival" path, the author itself has no idea what you're supposed to be, except that you're on land.

But hey, thanks for the point! c:

Lol, dragon cooties.

It is good for you to poop on. The survival is crap. In the lion enclosure, you climb a tree before the lion can cross the pit. What are you, a spider monkey? Everyone knows that you make yourself appear bigger and louder to scare off pack hunting predators.

In the sky one, you deflect a fire ball with a mirror. Need I say more?

And in the ocean one, the eel is blind just because it's eyes are white. The standard thing that small fish do to escape larger predators is hide in a reef.

I think it was average. I'd like more life-death scenarios though.

I suppose it is alright.

i always die

I survived so much. I'm great at surviving. I survive, like, all day. This game is fun and I like that you have to pay attention to the details. Great job, Jaystar!!

Nice!

one word: bulls*it

WUV IT! ITS AWESOME

Meh. Could have been better.

Not bad. Just wanted to look at my exclense in the mirror.

I just wanted to check my hair before I got started...I got a hydra!

Yes, I got a pet Hydra

Hi, ignore my kind of mean comment below :P Do you want to collab on a story with me? I started writing it already. Its about a German Husky who gets washed away by a stream and ends up growing up with an unknown pup.

That was an interesting game.

That..was not really fun...You used poor grammar, spelled rather weakly, and it was pretty lame. You chose 'run through the jungle' more like 'fall asleep island'. You have hope, but now really too much in this story. Sorry.

Cool game; loved the snarky narration, and the clues are challenging to find. Great game!

Exactly Seth. you are supposed to look for hints in the comments to make it more difficult. Would you rather it be extremely easy?

You could do better

CreatorX, you're supposed to figure out what kind of animal you are from the hints are in the description: it says you're a baby bird with webbed feet.

(Spoiler in this comment)

More description of what you are playing as would be very helpful. It said I was a bird, but you didn't say I was a Duck before given the option to fly through the trees to lose the Hawk. Give us more of a chance at survival.

Not bad actually, I love the way that the narrator speaks. Also, nice sounds like a game that a good kid could play. Not bad at all.

I remembered on the "lion in the zoo" part, that BIG CATS ARE AFRAID OF LOUD NOISES!!!

I'm sorry to be harsh, but that irritated me.

Sorry....!

Nothing wrong with a little short, clean fun every now and then. Simple and logical, with a little humour.

Well. You did sorta try to make this good. So I'll give you a little bit of credit.

It was a bit difficult to understand.

It's actually not that bad, it was pretty entertaining. Maybe it could use some grammar work, and it could have been a little longer.

5/8

(Jaystar!!! Hi!!)

This is an interesting idea but might be more fun in Prehistoric times when there were dinosaurs and other big, hungry thingies that could eat you, also I wasn't a fan of the informal writing style but that's just my personal tastes, overall it was pretty decent :)

I'm just an animal? That pretty much means I can be any animal I want...

ERMAHGAWD ITS A TREX RUUUUUUUUN!

Anyway, bad jokes aside this was pretty shitty.

I liked the idea but this has WAY too many plot holes.

Like what animal are you?

Why are you here?

Why is there some deity or otherworldly creature telling you what's happening instead of you seeing what happening?

You still need to do a lot more work on this though I like the plot.

3/8

pretty good. well at least that is my say.

not bad I liked it not any spelling errors I saw.

I liked it.