Player Comments on LOTR:The Shire, an Exploration Game
This is a charming little game. It's pretty short, but well-written, and you convey a strong sense of geography using only links and pages. To my knowledge, it's the only attempt at an "exploration sim" on CYS.
Unfortunately, it is hampered by the fact that nothing really happens. I understand that that goes with the territory of a peaceful exploration/walking sim, but I don't think that the format of a text adventure is able to carry that idea without it being boring. This is a very short game, and it was starting to drag by the time I finished.
It's clear that you're capable of good writing, though. You conveyed the tranquility and peace of the Shire very well, and some of the interactions with the Hobbits were genuinely amusing. I genuinely laughed when the bartender commented on how even the big folk now about how great his beer is.
I must also commend you on your impressive knowledge of the Legendarium.
I hope you take your strong descriptive skills and sense of humour and try to apply it to something more ambitious, because I can easily see you making a very worthy contribution to the site.
Also, just a bookkeeping matter, this should be filed under "Fan Fiction", not "Fantasy Adventure", as it is based on the work of J.R.R. Tolkien and is not an original setting.
on 7/13/2020 8:18:25 PM with a score of 0
Great story! It looks like plenty of work and time went into this.
on 8/2/2020 3:55:39 PM with a score of 0
Very charming. Nice and relaxing. Thanks for this. :-)
-- Dale on 8/1/2020 9:13:00 AM with a score of 0
It's okay but not as good as the Star Wars one. I agree with the others that there needed to be something to do.
on 7/28/2020 7:59:03 AM with a score of 0
The descriptions are okay and vivid. But as game this is boring as hell, you are just going aimlessly from A to B. Without any reason carved into a plot. There is also no dialogues... A good first attempt.
on 7/26/2020 5:08:35 AM with a score of 0
This is cute enough for what it is, and I think kids may enjoy it. I liked the part with the Entwife.
I'd have liked just a tiny bit of background on the character and maybe some goal or reason they're traveling though. You don't need a full plot, just a little hint of one to propel the whole thing forward.
If you learned to do variables and a little on page scripting, you could change the descriptions of places the player had already visited. That way every time you enter the inn wouldn't be the first time, and so on. That would add a lot to the interactivity of the whole thing.
on 7/13/2020 7:25:53 PM with a score of 0
As per the description, you do explore the world, but I would suggest allowing the player to make choices that have consequences, rather than wandering around aimlessly. I would also suggest adding at least a little plot, even if you mean for it to not be so much of a story, to give the player some reason for wandering around. It is unclear to me, if it is not a story, as stated, and not a game, as you cannot lose, what exactly it is meant to be.
on 7/13/2020 5:56:38 PM with a score of 0