Player Comments on Missing in Action

This was a very well written short story. It was entertaining and kept my attention throughout.

From the start, you can tell that this story is well written. The characters were pretty well developed and react logically within the narrative. Grammar, structure, and spelling are done well. And the story is paced in a way to keep you interested.

This story does fall a bit short when looked at in a CYA format. There were a couple of early endings based upon choices, but many of the selections that should be meaningful just fed back into the same narrative stream. Getting lost in a cave can open up so many different possibilities that would have been fun to be able to explore. However, though it seemed the author was pushing towards a single path, in many cases these choices allowed the characters more screen time for a longer story.

Overall, an entertaining and well written short story that is definitely worth reading.

A nice little story. enjoyable to play/read.

doing anything is better than homework

Would be better without cuss words.

It was good, not the best but very good.

It's a good story but there's no real danger in the climax but the tension is there though. 6/8

your work was really good just add some thing more fun:)

it was a little boring ,but fun:)

Amazing work

Really well written.

my complaint is that it is too short. Would have liked to see more of a story, and get to know the friends better. I also dont understand why they sat for a few days singing instead of trying to get back out of the caves. Earlier it said they did this all the time. Certainly not a bad story, just not long enough. But entertaining while it lasted

eh but the ending was sorta cruel with the spiders. saying you are a stick. but otherwise enough words to keep interest

I was really bored until the ending that you were rescued in. that was sooooooo sweet!

Funny!

Haha!

I'm an old man.

Funny.

Ok

I don't know why this only has a 4 rating i gave it higher and this game could have been a five or six if you had written a better ending. I still gave it a five though

it was a one way trip down!

The writing style needs tweaking.It would of been a 6 till at the end screen you called me a sadist/idiot.

I found it a boring storyline. I would also have liked a better description so i knew what it was about before it started.

I wasn't impressed. The game didn't really have a point to it, just people in a cave.

Not the ending I was expecting. I enjoyed reading it.

This is an interesting story (autobiographical?) with both pros and cons:
Pros:
1. Good narrative, with emotional payoffs and character development, ending tying into earlier parts of story
2. Some of the descriptions were really good, like the caves
Cons:
1. Grammar mistakes or simply an informal, stream-of-consciousness style that can disorient the reader due to lack of structure
2. Linear
The consequence of you choosing/declining to help the guy with his exhaust could have been done better with variables and inside the story, without taking the reader outside of the story
Overall, an inconsistent but sometimes brilliant first effort.

(Continued) BEST writers on this site and he barely ever puts anything in the description page.

So, I had to replay through the story to give you the second part of this comment and MAN, the part where you end the story because I kill some spiders is really really stupid. Don't give us the choice to do something and then tell us we're a sadist for doing it. That's breaking one of the primary rules of CYOAing.

Still though, good attempt. Build on it.

Simply a terrible ending, one of the worst let downs I've ever encountered. Your writing is great, really awesome and the story was moving at a slow but steady pace and then you just ended it, probably because you lost inspiration or got bored. That's just not acceptable and nearly dropped it from a 5 to a 4. Usually, a story with this calibre of writing and social significance would warrant at least a 6 from me but two things got in the way. Primarily, I can't stomach an author giving me two choices that both lead the same way. That's not a CYOA, that's a linear story. Twice that happened, once when I wanted to keep going in the cave and once when I didn't want to go into the cave with spiders. Still though, good effort and incredible first story. Also, I completely disagree with Fleshy about the description. Say as much or as little as you'd like there. Endmaster is one of the BE

pretty nice work here. very well written. the only down sides i see are only 2 choices per page(atleast the path i took) and the description of this game should be filled out properly with information about the story and not just "my first story" thing. most everyone knows every one around here, we know who is new and who just wrote their first story. but thanks for adding this to our repertoire of stories to read.

Definitely one of the better stories to come out in a long time. I enjoyed it, 6/8.