Player Comments on Phoenix the Magic-cat

Cats, why did it have to be cats?

The cat is named Phoenix, too, another ill omen around these parts.

You are Phoenix, a Magic-cat who's strength is fire. // Punctuation error in first sentence, always a great sign.


Magic-cats are very friendly creatures, only attacking for defensive or territorial reasons. // Maybe don't make blanket statements like this about an entire species of sapient beings.

But the story that follows is actually not that bad. The events are described clearly and the spelling, grammar etc. is mostly fine. It's just the logic of the...everything that leaves me baffled.

I'm not sure how a cat has its own house and is making cookies. I'm not sure about a lot of things about this setting. Why are humans doing kidnapping raids on the village (wait sorry...massive city) of cookie-baking cats? Why the elaborate facilities full of death traps and armed guards. Thirty guards crammed in a single room ready to unload on you with guns the instant they see you? Grapes and sour milk flooding from the ceiling?

Why do these facilities made by people obviously terrified of the cats all contain hatches that unlock from INSIDE the cell as well as hidden codes and keys guarded by riddles also inside the cell?

About an hour after going inside your house, you hear hissing, guns, a truck, and what is obviously the sound of different types of magic coming from outside. // It takes what, three seconds to leave your house? How did all of this go on, AND your friend and a bunch of other cats get kidnapped in that amount of time?

The cats also clearly have access to modern technology and can operate cat-specific kitchen appliances and build houses and restaurants and hospitals so why not tiny trucks and guns for themselves?

Why can the cat with fire powers also use lightning and water powers? This seems a bit overpowered, even though all this magic these cats allegedly possess have been so laughably useless throughout the entire game so far I'm not sure why they were even included. Every puzzle could have been, and was, solved completely without the use of magic, so in the end the main characters abilities weren't factored into the plot at all and existed only to give lip service to the idea of being special and different.

By the way? This riddle?

'Purple for grape, red for cherry. Yellow's a banana, while white is dairy. Milk can go sour, fruit can decay. Which can you eat but still be okay?'

....was really annoying. You ignored the vast majority of dairy products in existence as well as wine and vinegar to go with...freaking banana bread? Really? Even aside from the fact that this is a question asked of a cat, in a cell, in order to get the key to escape the cell. Which is contained inside the cell. This is a weird, WEIRD containment system anyway you slice it. (Although that riddle seems to have been edited since the first time I saw it to make it more obvious, and to also fix the broken links when you arrive there after going through the wall...)

Anyway, there were a lot of options and the format of the puzzles were good in theory even if they fell down in the believability department. And 7k is an impressive word count from a kid writing their first game.

I think this will survive the culling process, and I actually rated it a little higher than I first intended based on finding the tonal swerve in all the brutal endings (like the one where you got blasted with your own magic and then knocked over a bucket of angnry, poisoned mice which then murdered you and the various things you were drowned/shredded by) absolutely hilarious. The ending with Ocean getting all her paws amputated was the best of the lot by far.

Aside from those...this probably needs a Geared for Children tag.

In memoriam of Bunny Girl. Got trolled to death.

Very interesting and fun for the brain.

I think it would be nice to add a little bit more to the story.

Very intertaining

loved it

I FOUND ALL THE ENDINGS!!!

this was weird and amusing at the same time

this is good

Pretty neat. Nice job for a first story on the site!

A cat without feet it....sad.

But any way, this was much better than I thought it would be. Pretty well written, a bit short. I agree with Mizal that some of the logic was a little weird, but that's alright. This story is still far better than all those warrior cat stories that plagued the site years ago.

When I first a game with 'cat' in the title, I thought, 'oh great. Another one of these.' However, upon playing the game, I was pleasantly surprised. I don't know why cats are always the focal point of stories like these, but it didn't take away my enjoyment. The level of description and amount of links and choices surprised me. This story clearly has some care put into it. That being said, I have 2 critiques:
One, on the puzzle with the blocks to free your friend, you said banana can be eaten moldy, in the form old banana-bread. It doesn't have old bananas in it, but ripe ones. Maybe change it to honey or some food that's sweet but never spoils.
Two, I'd like some backstory. The attack with the criminals at the beginning makes me think the Magic cats are like some rarity, hidden from most of the human world. However, at the end, when I take my friend to the hospital, the nurse is unfazed by the fact that she's treating a cat that can control water. Maybe offer some backstory on the cats and their relationship with humans?
Overall, good story. I enjoyed it.