Player Comments on Songs to Say Goodbye

This is very sweet, though I was a little saddened at how short the paths were. Very, very enticing story. Nice background, nice characters, tragedy, and grammar usage.

One thing about the plot is that you say what is going to happen in the link and describe it out in the page the link brings you to. This is a nice eye-opener and refreshing way to read a storygame. Although it's not normal to do so, I actually liked this way. It prevents immediate dead-links (well... not really, but you still end up knowing what happens) and forces the writer to tell the story of HOW that happened.

Very sweet characters and interesting story. Your writing skills are great! Keep up the good work; I eagerly wait the next installment!

That was extremely well written and I can't wait to read more. The only thing I would say I'd like to see changed in the full version is the part at the beginning where you have to choose an event that happens in the future. I really don't like seeing this in story games where you get to choose the results of an action, or you get to choose what another character says or does. In a story game, I think the player should only be able to control the actions of the character they're playing at that point, and shouldn't be given choices that are actually out of the characters control. Maybe change it so that the player chooses whether they stay in or go out that day. If they stay in, the bandits and king's men come, if you go out, the stuff with the mushrooms and the waterfall happens.

This is definitely a well written story, but a story. Not a choose your story.
First of all, it was extremely short, and I feel that you could maybe have put more endings. The first ending was right on there from the first page. The second ending was already determined by the first choice, and the second choice did nothing but prolong the story or not.
The writing was beautiful, and you definitely have a way with words. I hope to see more of your work, maybe one where your choices have more significance.
Definitely don't divide a story this small into parts.

nioce

This story puts quality above quantity. Barely any words were unnecessary, which increased the impact every word had.

This story is an emotional rollercoaster. You go from an incredible high to incredible lows. You make me care more about the wife and children than entire books ever could.

This story sucks you in from the start, keeps your attention the whole way and finally spits you out in the end.
The writing is great, the characters are great and you make me want to read the second part in the series. Apart from some small grammar mistakes I think this story is great. A perfect read for a five minute break.

This was pretty well written, although you should have just taken the time to sling all the parts together into one story. Short series never do well on this site.

You did have some pretty nice character development, although I felt the character was complex some of it didn't seem entirely organic. Mainly just when he thought about being jealous of his son, it just seemed weird.

All in all it was a good story and I hope you can turn it into one larger story.

Kudos!
I love reading new stories and I've always liked a good medieval thing stuff written.
Your writing is great. I enjoyed every part of it and now I'm going to try other options.
I can barely wait for the next part, I know it'll be as good.
Thanks for sharing this with us. You did an amazing job and I wish you the best of luck for your future projects!

I found this game to interesting. It's purpose was to make the reader sad, for none of the endings were particularly jovial. Everything pointed the reader into a path of feeling glum. That's both what I like and don't like about this storygame.

What I like: It was saddening. Hopelessness pervaded the tale though it was set in a semi-fantasy setting. Heck, there was no silver lining on these clouds. They just poured rain down on my face.

What I Don't Like: The sadness felt shallow. I had no time to truly connect with the characters (due to the length). Additionally, the traitor bit was out of place. A character is executed for being a traitor (though was innocent). After the killing, a random character explains that randomly selecting characters for execution is common practice after battles. How does the protagonist not know? Why isn't there discontentment among the people? More importantly, is the masses can be fooled for only so long, so the executions should no longer even be effective in pacifying people's displeasure of the king.

Anyway, I did like the storygame, and the emotions it did me were high in comparison to its short length.

This is probably one of the most powerful stories I've seen written in only 6 pages. Very emotive but painfully short at the same time.

Suicidal Father for the Win...

Your writing ability is very developed, and I believe that you will write great stories. However, purely because of the length, I gave you a 6/8. Keep writing - I believe you will become a good name on CYS.

Such a sad and emotional story, but you MUST keep reading. I loved it!!!

Made me cry.

aw man, i think that ARI should have survived. its encouraging when the weaker survive.

"End" Game and Leave Comments
:)

Lots of emotions in such short story. Wish to see more of your work.

I liked it a lot, I can't wait for the full one to come, it was very emotional too. I liked it.

The writing of the story flowed nicely, but I wish that the lengthy pages could be broken into chunks; most of the time I felt like I was looking at a big blob of three or four individual events that crashed into each other.

Other than that, it'd be great to see more of where the twins come into the storyline and more plot development. You've got a great plot going, keep the ball rolling!

I find it, though short, very emotionally heart tugging.. not like I cried, but your writing style is very nice... I like it a lot

The feels man. The feels are so much in just a few pages...

Due to it being a prologue of sorts, I suppose it is going to be worse than a full length feature. I would recommend not having your endings lead to the same place regardless of the path chosen. Fairly good writing, but I didn't feel as attached to the characters as I would have liked. I felt as though I was being told to feel upset rather than caring about the mother and child and actually being so, thus character development would be another thing I would recommend in the final release.

To be honest, it's rather a letdown when you've explained the whole synopsis in the description. It's a bigger letdown when you've made interesting paths end with nothing but a dead-end.

Great writing though.