Player Comments on Space World: Arcaneta

The author of this story has a good imagination and the potential to be a great writer. I really appreciate the work that went into this story and the one finished path is of an appropriate length. I feel like the author has a relatively decent handle on story arcing.

There were some very serious issues with this adventure, though. The biggest problem was that it was unfinished and extremely linear. If your story is a summation of a bunch of two-link pages where each page has a link that kills you and a link that continues the story, then you don't have a storygame at all. This needs to be remedied before this can be considered anything more than essentially linear fiction.

Additionally, the author should do some more research into science and technology if these things are going to be critical to the plot of the game. In particular, the author might want to read about the effects of gravity, and the difference between acceleration and velocity. The science doesn't have to be perfect, but it needs to not be obviously incorrect.

Finally, the author should perhaps read some conversations between adults, and try to mimic those conversations so that his adult characters don't behave like children. This is a challenging thing to fake but these so-called astronauts largely seemed to behave like young children and that made it hard to immerse myself in the plot.

Overall, this is a promising storygame from a promising young author, but it is woefully incomplete and requires a great deal more work before it can be well regarded.