Player Comments on The Ceremony

yehey i'm a dauntless

Unpublished, site standards:
(The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product.)

Leader ^^ Ang Ganda !! Ang Sarap Ulit-Ulitin .. Pero Erudite pa rin Yung kinalabasan hehe^^ Ang Saya :))

ERUDITE pa ako! ^^ ang sarap magtest! XD ang saya! XD

hello po , Leader Redj .. Erudite Kami ah ,.. Baka mamali xD hahah .. Ganda ng Questions ...

it was good

Whoa. So nice and amazing. Feeling ko nagteleport ako sa wonderland kumbaga pra syang 3D. How nice! :)

I belong to Dauntless. I belong to the Shinigami tribe. One who stand our way will let himself suffer on my feet.

i love this examination!!i belong in the dauntless group!

the test is quit interesting.. thanks for that..

ang hirap pero masaya ty po

awesome!!

Grabe talaga. Akala ko kung ano na. Akala ko rin mahirap o may mga decoding. Huuuhhh... Ang sarap sa feeling na tapos ka na sa test. Dauntless pa...

haha it's awesome

thnx

I think the author may have intended this for some people rp-ing on another site.
It's just a copy of the test from Divergent.

There are many flaws in this story, and elements that just don't make sense in general.

First of all, I spotted many grammatical errors during my play through, that though small, managed to drive me out of the stories atmosphere, if there was even an attempt at that. The details are too vague, and there seems to be no actual plot. The choices were very limited as well, often leading you onto one path until the path splits off into "do this" or "do that", which than leads to more linear paths.

Again, there were no attempts at a plot, the beginning seemed to suggest there may be something exciting, but your character isn't even fleshed out very well. Why do my eyes turn red in the beginning? Am I special? And if so, tell me! Also, the maturity rating is a 7/8? Maybe I missed something, but rarely was there anything that would call for such a high rating. (The most violent encounter I read was smashing a tiger in the head with a rock, and even that was vaguely detailed.)

I don't know if this story is finished yet, but I assume it is so I will rate it as such. Overall, there are no plot elements, poor grammatical errors, and poorly created choices that lead to me rating it a 3/8. There is tons of room to improve this story and if you give a decent attempt at world building, character development, and an actual plot, the story could than be considered "a story".