Player Comments on The Devil's Fire

If I understand correctly, this storygame needed re-doing so the author unpublished it, but it was so good that it was re-published by the mods. Even without taking into account that it's incomplete, The Devil's Fire is a fantastic storygame, and on of the best on the website.

The writing is really good, and only hampered a little by some typos. The third person narrative is refreshing on this website, and Ashen_Snake has made great use of this perspective. The explanation at the end only made me appreciate it even more. You wouldn't expect it, but not using first or second person has actually really helped to give insight into the mind of a very disturbed protagonist. It also allowed for a very interesting prologue as well as other moments that happened away from Bana-Jxo.

I felt like the different coloured fonts were distracting at first, buy you soon grow used to it and there are some pretty clever uses for it later on. It's also nice when it's clear who's talking.

The fights played pretty nicely and smoothly, providing the player with a challenge without being frustrating. They were pleasant to play through and were kept few and far between, allowing the story to take precedence over the game, which is a good thing.

An engaging tale of the inner struggles and horrors that the main character went through. Bana-Jxo/Julian and Tokio were without a doubt my favourite. There are a host of rich characters, although I must admit some didn't jump out of the page as much. Mainly, these were the villains, who I felt were lacking in development. I don't know what else could have been done. Perhaps find a way for Julian to interact with them rather than jumping straight into a fight?

Looking at the number of ratings and comments, this amazing game hasn't been played enough. Play, it people! You won't regret it.

8/8

I can't believe that this story was once featured. Were the standards this low? The plot was actually as comprehensible as Silicon Lipstick. It also didn't help that the author kept spamming me with pictures from Google and that due to the age of the story, the links to them were probably also broken.

The text was also oversaturated with colors and none of them actually served a narrative purpose. I just want to wash my eyes with bleach after slogging through four chapters. Somehow this story is even more frustrating than the walmart game.

The only thing I did find impressive were the fights scenes (man, they were repetitive, but it was probably lots of coding work).

OMG!!! THIS WAS AMAZING! I LOVE IT! MAKE ANOTHER ONE!!!

This was actually pretty damn good. I found each combat encounter to be pretty entertaining.

beautiful
just fckin beautiful

I didn't get the plot or the story line whatsoever. It all seemed so random.

It was confusing and hurting my head that to the point I hate it but I still finished it because I WANT TO COMMENT ON IT

I thought this game was very interesting and exciting

"Hello!


Ashlee (Ashen_Snake) here. Not many people do this in their endings, but I felt like it, so blarg. Just scroll down if you don't care. That's fine by me. :)


I started this adventuregame in 2005, probably, when I was 13. I admit, the first year was off and on updates, monthly updates if anything. But I really sped it up more, because I really do love the story here and I wanted to show it to you. It was originally a novel I was working on, and when I joined myadventuregames and finished The Free Hand, I felt that it was the perfect novel to convert.


Granted, only 30 pages of that said novel were finished.


Anyhow, I really liked the character of Julian Moore/Bana-Jxo. I just wanted to make a character that was sweet and cruel, villainous and heroic, and all the while a suffering guy who just wanted to be normal. I also have a thing for disturbed characters, but who doesn't?"

Wow, if you really wrote this at the age of 13 then you must be a genius in writing stories! Hopefully you become a professional writer one day. =)

OMG loved it! I can't even express how AWESOME I think that was! If you had continued it as a novel, I DEFINITELY would have read it! I really love characters like that, where they know what they're doing is wrong but just can't control it, especially with the particular... clownishness... of Julian's character.
I ended up using the photo of Gregory's family to convince him not to kill me, which I thought was really sweet. This was an amazing experience for me, but I just have one complaint: I couldn't see any of the pictures in the chapter where Julian later finds the book. I really want to know what they were! Also, why does the BEST ending leave off with Julian DYING?! I get very attached to my characters, dude! That hurt! Overall, though, I fucking loved this!


Oh! And one more thing: This comment was never written. It's all in your MIIIIIIND!

Amazing

._. A roller coaster of emotions.......almost made me cry.........rip

Reese's cups don't even compare. I never thought I'd say that about something other than food or quantum mechanics.

YAY the best ending. That was really good.

A well written story, I bit linear, with little choice in the options, but otherwise a good story.

This story was..... Completely amazing. Even more so because a child herself wrote it. Please, Ms. Ashen_Snake, finish some novels, or short stories, or comics, or SOMETHING. Then get them published. You're such a very, very talented writer.

I don't know where to even begin. I know I'll have to go back and find all of the secrets and hidden stuff, but even from just one play-through, it was excellent. I wanted to try to give this a harsher rating, but even with the errors I found, which were only simple spelling and grammar errors. This story had me hooked from beginning to end and despite length, I will have to go back and find anything I missed. I especially liked the pacifist actions that could be taken with some of the opponents. Overall, great game.

Fun story game with good writing. I liked that the author linked to the ability to sav .

Very good game. Got the best ending, The final ending. This game really makes myself glad that I am a reader 8/8

The final few(image based) pages are missing...could you upload them in text format pls....thanks


Wonderful story... please let us know if you publish a book (you can self publish in amazon)

I didn't fully understand why uses of some powers were limited; what is the in-game explanation? Does the mutant gene fade away after overuse?

A beautiful story.

I liked it. That cat with the Shojo eyes didn't help me, though, and kind of creepy...

Amazing storytelling. Loved the unique fight scenes, too. I'm glad that you eventually got to finishing this story, even if it take you, like, five years, because it deserved to be finished. Really cool.

ha best ending first go threw awesome story

It was a little confusing at first but an really great story I guess and if there was a try again option it would be better because it shows try again but it does not come as an try again option an for a 14year old you write an amazing story I myself am going to be 14 in a month and I can't even write a story like that.Hats of to you and again an amazing story.Bye??????

I felt goosebumps especially on the seventh chapters onwards. I got the best, final ending. Yay! I wonder what would have happened if I chose differently...

It is a very touching game. It has perfect character development, portrayals of inner conflict sometimes bursting into external conflict. The wording is great, except for a few typos.
It is a truly Amazing piece. Absolutely astounding.
8/8


Also, for those of you who don't know how to read German, this is a rouge translation what the poem says in the beginning before the paths start to branch. I think I got a few words wrong though.


He is waiting for the south wind
the wave comes and places himself [satin? dull?]
holding a fan every day
the old man turns the water smooth

I throw the stone for my enjoyment
the water moves in circles
The old man looks at me sadly
and it has once again swept smooth

In the white sands of the old man
shaking smoke out his pipe
only the water and I know
why does he need those subjects

The notion sleeps like a volcano
I then asked tentatively
it is seemed to inclined the head he sleeps
he said before his death

Water should be your mirror
only if it is smooth, you'll see
how much you have left fairy tales
and you will beg for deliverance

Pressing the fan against his body
death spasm freezes his hand
fingers they had to break his
the fan remains back on the sand

The old man I'll call every day
he wants to still to deliver me
I will stay behind at noon Wind
and in which subjects can I read

Water should be your mirror
only if it is smooth, you'll see
how much you have left fairy tales
and you will beg for deliverance.

I really like your imaginations,and nice story make some more.

One of the most engaging games I have ever played. The length is just right and I enjoy the interactions between Lisa, Tokio and Julian. Looking forward to your other stories!

a preatty cool story

Didn't know if i got the best ending till i got that little note. Now i feel great.

Well I managed:

Evalution:

The best ending. The final ending.

On my first (second) attempt. The boss fights were challenging and worthwhile too and it was well put together.
It's length was nice too, not short but almost epic!

Well done!

TD

let me begin by stating that the story line is incredible,t you the characters passionate and the writing powerful. the fact that you have a real story with enough interaction to feel immersed is incredible too. at parts the pictures didn't come in well though that could be my browser. it is oddly refreshing to be so immersed in a story with such simple words. it is the way the words are arranged that is important not the words themselves. i also love being bana's voice it's fun

Quite the story game I was looking for. You really have talent. This story was so very detailed. Very enticing! If you do, however, ever end up making this a novel, I would love to do cover art. :p

that was of the best story i have ever seen on this site

Wow. Just wow. That was amazing, sad, and yet…beautiful in a way. I loved it. At first when I saw it, I thought it was about a man, a victim of fire. I was right, but not in the way I imagined. I liked this game a lot, especially the characters. They were probably the best part of the story. You did a good job! (I rated 7/8)

Very nice story. Got the best ending :)

it made me sad that he died but we (and i say we because i helped) died for our friends :) i like this a lot

Really great game. The idea is very fresh. But you really need to proofread. 8/8

Best Game Ever.

AWESOME

Just plain awesome

Perhaps the best storygame i have read on this site.

I honestly cried reading this.
There's no room for improvement, in my mind. I wouldn't change anything in fear of ruining it. Bana is awesome and very well portrayed. I would buy and read, like fifty times, a novel about him. To be fair, I wasn't expecting much when I started this. It was a cool name and the idea was interesting. And now I'm so happy I read this. XD 12/8. Cause I can.
On the comments, at least.

Hells yeah! Best ending! :D
I really loved Julian and the way his character develops by your choices <3 I really wanted to jump in the screen and give him the biggest hug ever. Poor Julie.

One thing that bugs me though is that some of the images wouldn't show up, including the 'book'. I've noticed how some other people have commented this problem too, although I think I found a partial solution (atleast for the book anyway):

When you get the book as an item, click the [USE ITEM] button for it. It should come up with a long text description with what I think is the books contents. I'm not sure how much of is or isn't there but I think the extra note that falls out isn't included.

Anyway great story. Something inside of me is hoping for more. After all, you never explained how he survived the first time *wink wink*
The phoenix is strong is this one ;)

There are no words to describe the awesomeness in this...

Beautiful, just Beautiful.

God, awesome story. So jealous of your plot now lol. I love how you let us choose between hero and villain. Most story just gives you some traditional plot that asks you to save the world in a GO DO IT AND DONT ARGUE tone, but your story actually allows us to choose between the roles. Thank you, epic story. Well done, I'd be sure to check back again for more. :) Sequel, maybe?

*Gives thumbs up*

I really like your game (many people do). The prologue, epilogue. The plot of your story is understandable. I like the way in how you deliver the setting, the characters, etc. You sir, are one good writer.

Why isn't this puplished again yet? It's a featured game right?

I stayed up two hours past when I should have gone to bed, but it was worth it. I really enjoyed this story, and I felt like I have, in a way, bonded with the main character. Great job.

That. Was. Amazing. You have very poetic style of writing!

Again, awesome game. I liked how you're not sure wether he lived or not in the end.
You should have made it longer, though--much, much longer.

Awesome!!! It was really fun. I'm definitely going to want the book when it comes out.
I think you should do another story in the same world--kind of like Necromancer and Death Song by EndMaster.
How come you can't use the magazine item though? I'd really like to read it.

best story I've read so far, 10/10

This story's amazing... I am speechless. 8/8

Good game

very interesting, very well writtne and planned, many options.

pure epic...

Wow, Completely Awesome. Bravo.

Excellent.
As with Rozeline, the pictures of the book did not work for me--but nevertheless, I can say this was an excellent story. Fascinating character, though the names were honestly too exotic for my taste--but that's really just a matter of taste, and nothing against your story. Great work!

Loved it. Absolutely loved it. The pictures of the book didn't work for me, so I kinda missed a chunk of story. :(

Anyway, really good work. I hope I can write something as good one of these days (since I joined two nights ago).

Well Done.

For some reason I gave this an Eight rather than a 7. There are a few slight flaws, but the brilliance and beauty of it all was too good to be a 7. Your writing is very emotionally mature for a 14 year old. Surprisingly so. Great use of items and colored fonts, pictures, poetry, although I still have no idea what that Rammstein song said.

I enjoyed this game enough that I went back and got all 5 five endings after beating the game.

Just one question: what can I do with the screwdriver and pearl necklace?

it was just plain awesome

i cant even describe how fantastic it is! It is really good.
8/8 for me.

That was an incredibly written story, with great use of the advanced editor, with items, stats, and stuff! Very well put together. I'm not sure what else to say. Top score.

A nicely written story with some problems with tenses as many have said. I like the poetry at the beginnings of the chapters and the pics go well. I also thought the complexity of the stories and characters was very well done. Great use of items. That said, I felt that the writing was surprisingly less advanced than your other story, and that confused me. I suspected you wrote it over a period of years which would contribute to some of the flow problems, and you confirmed that where I got the best ending. Still, excellent work!

all i can say is wow

Fantastic. That's all I can say... 8/8

This story is very well thought out, and has the genuine feel of a novel. Though a bit wordy at times it's very well written and I really did get into the story and characters. Seth gave you some good tips there - there's a bit of a tense problem at times, and Bana and Julian are interchangeable despite context. Also I ran into a dead end when I tried to use agility in a fight with the "power stopper guy" (I forget his name), and a few minor spelling mistakes (like brake for break) but all in all it was a great game, and I've got to give you props - especially at your age.

Top five, close but not quite.
Good job : ]

That, was really good. The only thing I didnt like though, was that there was only ever 1 battle every chapter. Fix that, and you'd have yourself one of the best storys on the site.

Oh my God, that was GREAT! Awesopme job, 8/8!

I liked it. The story was involved, and the characters were complex. I got the "final" ending. The battle sequences were well done, also.
The writing kind of felt like a first draft, though. There were too many "now it's in past tense, now it's in present" and "now he's Bana, now he's Julian." That last one was really, really irritating at points.
Still, good work. Looking forward to more from you in future!

Up til now, there's only been about four games on this site I've rated as an 8.

Now there's five.

Thankyou for making this game, its a great contribution to the site, good on you!

Not bad in the least!!
However I did not like how you have too many pictures per pagae in many different pages. Some are too big, even on maximised screens (whcih mine is).

Also, although it was very enjoyable, its very linear and the chapters seem to consist of about a battle each, someetimes a cutscene.

Not bad, in fact, very good. But could be better.

That was one of the best games I have played in AGES! The writing was brilliant, and the story had me hooked. The battles are actually okay in my opinion. The only thing you could fix is at the start, where instead of leaving the shop and going to the same page with the newspaper and the bench, you could have a different page. I usually don't write comments this long but this game is fantastic (are you seriously 13? Wow)and I just can't wait for the full version. Keep up the good work.