Player Comments on The Great Jungle Escape

"That's not a hand! That's a stick!" Well... I wasn't wrong... Sort of...

Anyway this story game was okay. It was better than some games I've read, but it could be better. Maybe branching it out more, more challenges, and a few different endings other than death. Some character develeopment, even just a little, like a name or personality or a backstory, would be nice. Hopefully your future stories are better.

It was really short, and I didn’t really enjoy it because it didn’t have much story to it. It would’ve been better if there were more scenarios and more options, and more descriptions, and a background.

There's some mildly amusing stuff going on here, but the prose style is really tiresome and relies on exclaimation points to create excitement rather than, you know, actually creating excitement.

"You grab the end of the stick and the man hauls you clear just as the croc attacks!... At last you have escaped!"

The narrator's voice is *really* annoying, asking whether I "think it is" a fish or a crocodile I see. The only redeeming quality of this game is that it makes some effort to create a branching structure, even though it leans heavily on "choice 1, do the thing!, choice 2, give up!" far too often.

A little cringy. But not horrible.

pretty good and 2 thumbs up

I'm rating this a 1 just to spite Broken God so he can't get his comment featured.

***Spoiler Alert***

Intro/Backstory: This needs quite a bit more information than “the pilot is dead”. Or, just change it because it is extremely cliche. As in, copying Hatchet cliche. A few ideas instead:
- Main character is in the US Navy, and works on a submarine.
- Main character is on vacation, and is swimming, but gets sucked out by a giant riptide.
There are really multitudes of ideas that can be used instead of the ‘plane crashed, pilot dead’ one.

Main part: So, there are quite a few things to say about this bit. For one, it is very random. The main character is on the island for less than half an hour, and BOOM! A tiger attacks you. Then, in order to escape, you run away from it, even though it is practically impossible to outrun a tiger in the jungle. Furthermore, when you climb through the cave and are seized by the cannibals, that page was way too short. It was one sentence long, and just simply made me loose interest in the story (though I never had any to begin with). And how you escape, by punching your way through a crowd of cannibals, is absolutely unnatural. Ever tried punching your way through a crowd? Now try that again, but instead the crowd must be savages that see you as your dinner.

Climax: This is very anticlimactic. It simply doesn’t make the reader sit on the edge of their seat and hold their breath. And no matter what you choose, fish or crocodile, it takes you to the same page. Here is literally what you said: If you said "fish" you were wrong! IT'S A CROCODILE!! It makes no sense to have a story as linear as this one, and then go on and make it so that no matter what you choose, you go to the same page. Don’t ever do that in a storygame unless it is absolutely necessary.

Resolution: Way too random, in fact doesn’t make any sense. The pilot of the helicopter can somehow pull you up with one hand, WITH A STICK, while piloting the helicopter with the other. This doesn’t really make sense. And, how is the main character so lucky as to be able to get to the helicopter in the first place? Why is the helicopter on an island of savages and (to quote you) “ferocious beasts”? It really doesn’t make any sense.

This story is rather boring, and doesn’t really hook the reader in unless they’re 10 years old. The description of it was horrible. You spelled ‘escape’ wrong, and you said something about being “doomed to death”.

Overall, 2/8. Horrible.

For such a short game, this was actually decent. (Kind of disappointed that I didn't get to trick the cannibals into thinking that I was their God, and convert them all to veganism... But I guess that's a minor complaint.)

The "Do you think it's a fish or a crocodile" page seemed kind of pointless, and I'm extremely annoyed that the crocodile didn't wait a couple of seconds for me to finish my oh so witty comment, but I guess it must've been really hungry.

4/8. "Slightly more fun than homework" is a pretty accurate description. :p

This is a great start. There’ s a good setup and a nice first page. I like the descriptions and the detail at the start. It gets a bit briefer as the story goes on, though. I do like that there are options. While some might lead to a quick death, the others do seem to have a nice effect on the story. The reader certainly feels like they are in control of the game and that their choice makes a difference in the story.

It was odd at the point where I was asked to select fish or crocodile because the next page was the same no matter what I picked and instead the story told me to decide what I had picked. I’m not sure what the point of that was, especially after so many good choices and options. Then the story sort of ended rather suddenly. It was a decent story, but could have used a little more development and perhaps and ending that equaled the rest of the story in quality.

Thanks! This was an awesome little thing to pass the time, easy, but fun too! ;)

Wow very intreasting sadly no character development and very very short and ez.

good, i like the start

This kinda reminds of Forest

Hey, its one of the best on the site

Short and fun :) A good 5 minutes-filler

It is ok, could be more "spicy"

Done already? That was short

Nice and Short game. Like It!

Meh Not Great but Not TERRIBLE

YAY! I survived. This wasn't extremely interesting like I thought it would be but it wasn't that bad either. It needs a little more, it was kind of short but I guess overall it was an okay story and certainly not the worst.

Itwas sorta good. Just a tip. Think beyond personal action. Use your writer's peripherals, so to speak, which means pay attention to your surroundings. Not everyone knows what you're talking about because only you have the ability to imagine exactly what's going on because you made it up. More descriptions. Other then that it was pretty cool!

Not really any variety but it has potential

Well, what was there was good, there just wasn't much there is all.

Seth says NO! Short and boring.

Pretty random with, most pages being one or two sentences. Every once in a while there was good page. Not enough choices, and a few grammar mistakes. It would be better if there were more links and longer pages.
Nice try 3/8

it was actually good. But short.....

This story could have been so much better if it weren't so short. Please write more. And make more choices available.

Promising, but way too short. I believe the grammar was off as well.

short and linear, but with more work it could be good

Ok. It could have been better if it was longer and had better descriptions. Plus, there was not a lot of development. One second I was escaping man eating lunatics, the next second I am being chased by an animal. But, not as bad as a lot of other games. Glad to see a plot.

4/8