Player Comments on The Promise

it's a really good beginning, in my opinion. You have a good writing style and imagery and the characters seem rather interesting. I would like to see this continued, the only two things that I would suggest are really these: Because the only real way we got to know the characters were through their pasts and lesser so in their interactions, I would try to get these characters more developed in the story. To give us readers a better understanding. The second is the same others are saying (you're not alone here, I need to learn to do this as well), try to shorten the amount of text on one page, or even one paragraph. Large and long paragraphs can look semi-intimidating, so I would break up your paragraphs more. Great start though, I would like to see it become longer/continued.

The amount of pages were slightly shorter than I prefer, but each page was filled to the tip and worth the read. Some details that were given in the beginning weren't very important - but good use of imagery anyways. Improvements may include separating a long page into two pages, more plot and storyline, a greater feel for other characters, and not much else before you're on your way to making an excellent game. I look forward to reading your progress in the future.

The story was a bit odd. Decent overall

i think it would be fuuny if they kill together

The comments on this story are all over the place. This feels like an abridged version of something longer, where all the meat was cut out and just enough was left behind to gist the kind of story this is.

Setting aside both the mistakes and the strengths, this needed to be much longer to be able to stand on its own. The character bios are practically as long as the story. This was inspiration without work. We're only looking at a seed here.

Well that was certainly interesting.

umm... that was... interesting... it was ok, it could be a little longer. other then that, nothing much. it was good, descriptive, and slightly more fun than I expected, not bad. 9/10

The text changes were awkward at the beginning and ... that's about all I have to say right now.

Good book, strange bunch but I've seen worse.

A bit linear and a bit lovey dovey, but other than that, great game!