Player Comments on The Wolves II: The Great Death

I must admit that I only clicked on this story due to the implied incest in the story description, but, surprisingly, I enjoyed reading it.


Good:

1. Decent branching and differences between the scenarios

2. The grasp of language wasn't bad; there was a complexity of word choice and sentence construction that was certainly higher than that of the average story

3. A good deal of imagination was demonstrated, from the German and time period setting to the small village mood that was well-set


Bad:

1. The branches could have been fleshed out much more. The story read like a detailed outline or notes

2. Technical aspects, like grammar and spelling, were lacking

3. The listed Story Difficulty makes it seem like it is hard to die in this story, but that is not the case


Ugly:

1. There was too much randomness in the story, both in the outcomes of the choices and choice of font, text color, etc.

2. The "hint" system should never have been needed- there should be clues embedded in the story narrative itself for readers with common sense to utilize to predict what the outcome of each choice would be


Overall, this story was more enjoyable to read than its rating would suggest, but several substantial flaws, in particular its bare-bones narrative, hamper what otherwise could have been a memorable and exceptional story.

This story has potential. Although, I am a little curious as to why there is no "The Wolves I".

The concept of this story is fine. While not exactly original, it provides a good backdrop for the story of a man trying to save his family and escape the terror.

However, I had a hard time with the grammar, sentence structure, and word choices used. It really distracted me from the actual story, and in some cases, required me to reread a sentence several times to try and figure out what was going on.

The characters were pretty flat, and could have used a bit more fleshing out. Also, the dialogue was a bit cheesy, and caused the characters to feel a bit unreal.

What was nice about this story is the branching and the number of choices leading to different paths that are available. Even as short as it is, this story provides a variety of endings for your character. Additionally, some paths have bad results that do not immediately end your game.

Overall, this story was ok and has potential, but it needs a bit of work to get there. Simple proofreading and minor editing would take care of many of the issues I encountered.

Please keep in mind, the following items are my opinion:

I don’t really like stories that can end with one link. I wouldn’t mind as much if it were obvious that making that choice would end the story, but when I’m faced with two choices and no clue as to which is the “best” choice and one of them leads to instant death, I’m inclined to not read more, rate it a one, and then move on. However, I did not do that here.

I do like white space in a story, it makes it much easier to read. That said, there can be too much white space – a paragraph really should be at least 3 sentences long in most cases (with obvious exceptions for dialogue, themes, and moods).

There is one page (I can’t tell you which one because there are no titles on your pages?) where the font style changes halfway through the page. To me, that’s annoying unless there is a good reason for it.

Overall the story does seem to have potential – but all aspects of it could be developed more. The main and other characters could have more development including their descriptions, thoughts, and motivations. Each option could have a few more details around it to help people understand what’s going to happen if they choose that option or at least give hints as to where they will lead. And as others have said, the story is quite short. Each page here could be more developed and more could really be added to make it a more complete story.

why do her arms get torn off? so random :l

First off where’s wolves one? Why are we just jumping in to wolves 2? And yes, I checked to see if there was a first wolves. The concept while unoriginal was interesting for the brief time I played it.

I wish the grammar errors and spelling were more refined as they diminished my experience playing the game. Personally I found the plot twist path to be my favorite and I wished you’d explored the insanity concept with more than just the main character.

Overall the main problems were the spelling and the corny dialogue occasionally but it was still an alright experience for what it was.

It was pretty good and I'm surprised that I got a good ending on my first, second, and third try.

This wasn't bad from what I read.

Got the happy ending on the first try surprisingly.

Sorry for commenting twice, but forget the linear thing I said- I can see you worked hard on it! Definitely worth replaying!

Fun, short however and slightly linear. The writing is great,the plot is fun, and I'm going to replay and see if there are more paths :)

Seriously? Death link on the first page?

This game was super neat- loved the idea and the writing was thoughtful and not short and boring! :) thanks for making a great game. One thing I will say is although it requires a lot more time and effort, I'd really like to see even lengthier descriptions of certain scenes/characters in places where the moment allows itself to have further description. This would just allow the players to immerse themselves deeper into your story. Thanks again!
~E

Looks cool.

I died.

Interesting. I enjoyed it I guess, despite it just being a demo. Like others have said, it has potential although I haven't read your first one if this is a sequel.

I just didn't like how there was one right option and the rest, resulted in death. Players shouldn't have to be forced to choose only one thing unless it's minor.

I don't get excited at the prospect of reading yet another demo. If you'd like opinions/play-testers/proofreaders/criticism, you should post a link in "Writing Workshop" instead of publishing.

Also, there are quite a few grammar and punctuation mistakes that could have/should have been corrected prior to publishing.

Thanks for the point, though...

This was far better than the last! It has a lot of potential through my eyes, and the writing was utterly fantastic! The emotions and story was very realistic, and the repetition of some lines created extra pizzas. I enjoyed playing, but was still eager for more of this by the end which I guess is the only kind of flaw, that meaning it's really good!
7/8 this time.

Hurry and play this now! This is NOT the finnished product, so please calm yourself if there is one missing link.

I highly recomend that once we pull this demo and release the finnished story, that you come back to play.

Will be pulled on 9-20-2015.

Thank you for your understanding.