The Zombies Are Coming Part 1

Player Rating?/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on ratings since 10/03/2012
played 879 times (finished 142)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

The zombies are coming (hey btw my last 3 stories I posted were of a younger me hoping I have evolved as a writer. Please give me tips. You may be harsh.)

Player Comments

Making it longer would probably give you a better rating. Story itself is good, opinion.
-- Quorrah on 9/18/2018 6:00:49 PM with a score of 0
My only complaint is it is too short, but it's good!
-- NO on 9/13/2018 10:49:42 AM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it, yes, it was short but this is only the beginning from what I gathered. so hyped for part two.
to the creator: great job, your writing is detailed and flows very nicely, being a novel writer myself, I'd give this a 9 out of 10.
-- Matalie on 4/17/2018 11:22:39 AM with a score of 0
worst game ever don't write again
-- happyidkgirl on 2/1/2018 12:50:06 PM with a score of 0
It was realy short, I was expecting a bit more story...
-- Chickdove on 3/17/2017 7:23:21 PM with a score of 0
This is really good! I need to see part 2!!!!!!!!
-- ZombieGamer9188 on 2/14/2017 7:23:35 PM with a score of 0
Spelling mistakes, and characters poorly described (maybe the game should be longer). There's nothing interesting about this, not and original plot and a terrible end. The way that the mother act just doesn't seem right (don't you agree that a mother would sympathize with the concern of her child?), maybe if you take the time to explain why she opened the door so early in the morning without even seeing who it was before...
-- Ash on 2/13/2017 5:41:27 PM with a score of 0
Plot is very linear, you go through, some zombies eat your retard parents who are too stupid to realize people are being eaten outside, while you have to stand and watch. This makes it very passive, and you as the main character, have no effect over anything. You can't grab a butcher knife or frying pan from the kitchen and go ham, you have to stand there and watch people get eaten.
In future writing, I recommend that you let the player/character take active action to stop the conflict, zombies in this case, and make the plot progress due to the actions of the player, not other people.

Otherwise there were a couple of mistakes with spelling and grammar. You changed tense a couple of time, going from third to first person. "You" as the pronoun to "I" as the pronoun. Also, when used to describe too much, you spell it "too" not "to". That's about it.
-- WizzyCat on 2/13/2017 12:41:34 PM with a score of 0
A great story. I only saw a few grammar errors, but they weren't too bad. The character is relatable and understandable. Good job.
-- Matthias on 1/30/2017 8:01:27 AM with a score of 0
Its a little to short.
-- Naga_Please on 5/19/2016 8:08:31 PM with a score of 0
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