Player Comments on The Zombies Are Coming Part 1

Making it longer would probably give you a better rating. Story itself is good, opinion.

My only complaint is it is too short, but it's good!

I enjoyed it, yes, it was short but this is only the beginning from what I gathered. so hyped for part two.
to the creator: great job, your writing is detailed and flows very nicely, being a novel writer myself, I'd give this a 9 out of 10.

worst game ever don't write again

It was realy short, I was expecting a bit more story...

This is really good! I need to see part 2!!!!!!!!

Spelling mistakes, and characters poorly described (maybe the game should be longer). There's nothing interesting about this, not and original plot and a terrible end. The way that the mother act just doesn't seem right (don't you agree that a mother would sympathize with the concern of her child?), maybe if you take the time to explain why she opened the door so early in the morning without even seeing who it was before...

Plot is very linear, you go through, some zombies eat your retard parents who are too stupid to realize people are being eaten outside, while you have to stand and watch. This makes it very passive, and you as the main character, have no effect over anything. You can't grab a butcher knife or frying pan from the kitchen and go ham, you have to stand there and watch people get eaten.
In future writing, I recommend that you let the player/character take active action to stop the conflict, zombies in this case, and make the plot progress due to the actions of the player, not other people.

Otherwise there were a couple of mistakes with spelling and grammar. You changed tense a couple of time, going from third to first person. "You" as the pronoun to "I" as the pronoun. Also, when used to describe too much, you spell it "too" not "to". That's about it.

A great story. I only saw a few grammar errors, but they weren't too bad. The character is relatable and understandable. Good job.

Its a little to short.

it is good for a start, you improved and you made a good storygame. gonna go play part 2, if its out

Good for a beginning. I gave it 4/8. I'm sure this could develop into an interesting story.

This was better than your previous zombie story attempt. If you want to write well, you need to put in the time and effort, and make a story with good length, character development, and description. I hope you keep writing.

Disregard the Kiel part, my phone switched games on me without me realizing, all well, everything else is the same though.

I don't care enough to leave a review as long as Kiel's, so I won't. All I have to say is that there are a few instances where you use words incorrectly, to instead of too mainly, also, way too short and predictable.

Good writing, but one suggestion: less use of periods?
Also, if you want this series to be truly successful, play some of the other games of the same genre, it helps. Put in stuff they don't have.

You have the potential to become a great writer. Don't stop writing.

Quite short and the writing could use some work. Cliche plot and characters weren't very well developed.

Way too short and linear. Absolutely unsatisfactory.

Really well thought through but put just a little more writing in it. I don't mind how much you have now because I do like to read much but still an amazing start to what I think would be an amazing story all together.

how would a 14 year old do any of these things? they're not even allowed to drive.

Well... It's not really a story. The writing isn't terrible (lots of spelling errors though :s ).
Like many have said, longer is probably better in this case. A longer story is probably more enjoyable than a series of shorts.

This actually reminds me of the beginning of the last Resident Evil movie where Milla Jovovich has a deaf daughter. Only the player's mom doesn't get to be an awesome model mutant. Oh well, can't have it all. Great start.

Way too linear, or should I say "way to linear", your favourite grammatical error.

Very fixed in the "Do this, you die. Do that, you survive".
Really good storygames allow for multiple options and paths, each with their own consequences.

Well written enough but very very short.

I have a feeling that this is going to be AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're a pretty good writer, but I'd prefer it if this was the beginning of a long game instead of the first in a series of short games.

Seth says MEH!! Too short, and I have gotten this advice before, don't make it into parts, just do one whole story. 3/8

Too short

its not bad, would be better if there was more elaboration

Cool! Good job 6/8

Way tooo short. Even for demonstration. I suggest you to bind the whole series into a single book. 3/8

Pretty good 5/8

It was a great idea, but it was WAY too short with quite a few spelling mistakes. Rather, you should edit this story to add more paths. Is English your second language? If so, then you have done a GREAT JOB!

I have no idea why it recieved such bad ratings. Alright it was very short, but he made pretty clear that it's part of a sequel.
If you want my advice (and im really not in the position to give any) check your grammar and make it longer. Other thing that was probably just my thought, is a thing I also do a lot: You choose to go with the set story or die. You might want to change that, depending on how difficult/free choice like it's supposed to be.
Anyway that's all I gotta say so I wish you good luck with your next one! ^-^

You might have the start of something good here - keep going :)

Way too short for a game, even for a demo. If all the parts are going to be as short as this, I suggest you put them all in one story.

nice one man