Player Comments on To Drink or Not to Drink
Generally I'd recommend school projects be left unpublished and in sneak peek (the story is in sneak peek by default when you create it, unless you uncheck the box in settings) and then you can just share the link with teachers or whoever needs to read it without opening it up for public comments.
Grammar, punctuation etc are pretty decent on this one at least so it might wind up with an okay rating, although the story itself isn't too exciting. A little bit of fiddling with variables would've made this better at getting your point across and would've led to more actual choices; story is a bit lacking in that area.
The 'water bottle' objects weren't needed at all, and the 'choices' are just a list of activities you click through. The thing is, the writing assumes a certain order without actually tracking what the player does or how long they go without drinking. Go immediately to click Archery and you get a message about being dizzy and severely dehydrated, and if you go to canoeing after that, still without taking any water, you only get a mild headache.
The only choice that matters is to drink or don't drink in the tower, which meant I couldn't give this much of a rating. If there were a bit more to it and maybe some more emphasis on actual characters (even something simple like a friend you're in a rivalry with that would tempt you to push your activity beyond what was safe...) this wouldn't necessarily be a bad addition to the Edutainment section.
on 8/4/2018 11:38:20 AM with a score of 0
Thank you for this fun way to learn about the health benefits of hydration!
-- Amy on 8/2/2018 10:27:51 PM with a score of 0