Player Comments on Under The Bridge

I'm very disappointed with the linearity of this storygame. Many options could have been chosen by the reader, but instead, we had to go a long with what was already chosen for us. By implementing more choices, the length of the storygame would soar, which would boost your ratings quite a bit as well.

The writing is average, nothing special, but it's not that bad either. It didn't pull me in and make me lose track of time like some storygame here, but it had my attention. I quickly lost interest after dying on the second link I clicked.

I hope that you take into consideration my opinion and update this storygame accordingly. I think that it isn't that bad overall, and with some tweaks, could become a great story. Until then, my rating will not change, and nor will my opinion.

2/8

It is not easy for me to rate this storygame as there is so little to it, basically you click two choices and the game is over. It is one short scene that the reader is thrown into, with not much rationale behind the story (although I did laugh at one of the endings). I think this segment could be good with some polishing and connection to a broader story, but in the end we only have a very brief scene of what should be a tiny part of a large story, and I’m a little disappointed that there weren’t any riddles/puzzles for the reader to try their hand at.

The dialogue and character reactions were entertaining enough to lift this up to a 3/8.

Haha, in hindsight, the fact that this was in the Fantasy Adventure genre instead of Puzzle/Mystery should have tipped me off, but I was surprised and amused all the same.

Lots of lampshading and harpooning of classic fantasy tropes, witty dialogue, and some of the funniest game over pages I have had the pleasure to read. It was very well written, even if it was very, very short, and I'll save it for a rainy day when I need a chuckle.

That being said, it's was too short for me to give it a higher rating, but what's there is certainly worth the five minutes it takes to read! I'd love to see this game expanded upon, because I'm a sucker for sarcastic and fourth-wall leaning fantasy humor.

I would have liked to answer an actual riddle rather than being told haha you're dumb! Other than that, my only complaint is the brevity of the story.

I wanted more riddles and trolls! It could've been an interesting concept where you're trying to get to the inn but every time you cross a bridge a troll makes you answer a riddle.

Also, I noticed a couple of spelling errors as well, but nothing glaringly obvious. I rated it 3/8 but will rate it higher if you make it longer.

If this story were...10 times longer it would be pretty good. As it stands it would be better as an amusing forum post or two in a short story thread. I didn't dislike any part of it, there just wasn't very much.

It's like opening a carton of ice-cream and finding just enough in there to piss you off. If I were willing to publish games with this little content I would have about 50 published games with endings like, "Then your journey had a new destination"

Damn this was written a long time ago, but the call to rate one random story game a day compels me to respond.

Positives:
-This game is pretty funny. The troll actually being your teacher from high school made me smile and the bit about trolls actually being paid to guard bridges is definitely going into my dnd campaign at some point: that stuff is golden.
-The writing is decent. As many others have said, nothing special but generally okay. Sometimes the repetitive sentence structure is annoying but good job overall.

Things to improve:
-Holy fuck is this linear. Despite having a bunch of choices theres like 5 different endings which come pretty quickly, sometimes as much as the second choice. Larger story games are obviously harder to write, but I couldn’t help but think this went by too quickly.
-Some of the ‘timelines’ don’t make sense. How is the troll simultaneously your cousin, teacher and a troll? I’m assuming the POV is a human because of the description, but sometimes this makes little to no sense.

Overall this is a fun quick read, but don’t go in expecting anything spectacular.

the game is really short witch isn't bad but You need to make a stronger connection with the character.
the riddle could have had actual answers and that determines if you can pass the bridge or not. the story also feels rushed and there could have been more detail but it is a nice quick story
good work

... You dick! You got my hopes up for a riddle game. Fuck you, betaband. Fuck you very much. >.<

Very short but good fun and very creative. The writing worked well.

It was short, and ended in basically every choice you make, but I liked it. 5/8

Well, the writing in this was quite nice. I did spot a few typos, but not many of them. For such a short story, there was a fair diversity of endings. I loved how I could choose to be a fellow troll, instead of an adventurer on her noble quest. That being said the length was a bit *too* short. None of the pathways lasted longer than two pages, and I was never even presented with the opportunity to solve any riddles.

There were a couple lines that made me laugh out loud. "You knew you should've put more points into charisma," was a fun quip at the convention of assigning points to different attributes in CYOAs. I also loved how you could just try to have the protagonist bribe her way out of solving a simple riddle, leading to the following line of dialogue: "What the hell do you mean you don't take euros? We're in europe." That line made me laugh.

I gave this a 3/8. I'd be happy to give it a four or a five if the length were increased. [The rating isn't a remark on the writing quality; I just want to see a few longer paths].

it would have been a lot better if you made it so that you can actually manipulate the story to increase the length. EX- when you choose the option about being his cousin instead of having a solid story you can change it so that we have more options to make a miniature story of our own. Just Saying.

Would have been better if it was longer.

LIKE THE JOKES MY DUDE

Seriously, is the purpose of this game to advocate "stab the trolls and then move on?"

To short, with not enough choices.

short and simple. could be a lot better, has potential, but as it is currently better to read something else.

Very short, the story could be a beginning for other work. Good.

Nice humour, but too brief. Fortunately what is there is at least well writtten.

This story game had a good deal of potential but was disappointing. There were only two choices, and you didn't even get to try to answer the riddle.

Short, no lead up, 2 choices, blending of the dark ages and and today, hard to get into

Very short with a basic story line. Basic example of this kind of story but I feel as if my choices were redundant. Would have loved more detail and embellishment.

Hey! You said this would most likely be in between G and PG, why does it say "H***" then?!!?

Short but definitely entertaining. The writing wasn't fantastic but it also wasn't bad. More choices of course would improve the story but each end I found was satisfying.

This is one of the most disappointing games which I have ever played. Extremely short,not entertaining and I noticed some grammatical mistakes. It seemed as you didn't care about this game, and I can certainly see that you didn't spend that much time in this game. You did a very poor job, and I am ashamed of you.

1/8.

Waaaaay too short, although every page was entertaining!

WTF?
I'm not even allowed to answer the riddle?

Short

I loved the humour in this story. It was written very well too. But it was very short and there weren't many choices.

Loved it!!! Funny and surprising! Can we have more?

Way to short

Ha. Nice. Wish it was longer.

That was extremely short. It ended after just two clicks.

Cute but very short

Um....cool

Quite possibly the best choose your own I've had the pleasure of choosing. I really felt connected to the main character "Harold". I would have liked to known more about Floyd though, and who built the bridges!?

Can't wait for the sequel.

Why is this 3/8

Very funny!

This was uh...not what I expected, but it was hilarious. :D There were no choices in the traditional sense, all just set ups for punchlines, but I laughed out loud at some of those endings. Please please please write a full length story in this style, this one was criminally short.

I chuckled

You can't actually guess the riddle's answer

The story itself is great, sometime you should expand on it. It is, however, really short. I'd love to read more of it if you write more though!

This was hilarious.

This is very funny.