Player Comments on White Room

It had its ups and downs i'd say.

The writing was really good and the plot was well executed. I could easily picture the situations because you provided a decent amount of detail. So well done with that.

Sadly, there are some flaws here to weigh the good writing down a bit. I thought the storygame was rather random, and the choices didn't seem to make much sense to me. But I suppose it might be hard trying to imagine choices in the situations the character was in for this story.

There is a small amount of character development, but I would have liked to get to know them more. Developed, well fleshed out characters are a very important part of storywriting.

I also found the storygame rather short, despite the decent amount of writing on most of the pages.

This also feels rather incomplete, and I don't have a sense of closure after I read it. I really want to know what happens next.

4/8, good job but fix the flaws please.

It was interesting at least. It reminds me a lot of those old choose your own adventure books, particularly the UFO one.

it s fun but confusing

This was a really cool experience!

This was a really cool experience!

I had fun with this. Creative and it kept my attention. I'd love to see more.

........

I was confused but good job

I really like this game! It's creative and refreshing. Even though it's rather short, it still feels complete. I love the ending - I've always been a fan of tragedies/stories where the protagonist doesn't win.

If there were a fault to this, I'd say it lies in the only ending you have. Not that the ending was bad, but that it was the only one. It would have been nice to see an ending where you can't get out of the white room, or anything else you could come up with. I'm left curious as to what will happen next, which isn't a bad thing, but in replaying it and looking at everything there is, it's just boring in the sense that there's nothing new you can find.

That said, this story is anything but boring! It's very descriptive and even has a bit of humor to it. I do really like it and I hope that maybe one day you'll make a second? Though, you don't have to. As said, I'm just curious for more.

Pure twist. I love it. Hope you can make a sequel or add more modifications to it.

Hi there! :-). Great story! You are so creative... I feel this game has the potential to be even greater. After all, there are no limmits to the imagination! :-) :-). My idea is: the next time the girl finds herself in the white room (after she's been sedated again), there could be a message on the wall, giving her clue as to what's going on. Like the kind of message you'd find on a map for a treasure chest. Just a thought. Good luck, and happy developing! :-). Oh, and very well done again. This was certainly one of your most creative ideas. :-).

Hmm… interesting…

really cool

It was kinda sorta boring... ending was a bit too sudden, but overall good try. I can't do better myself :P

A good start but way too short.

Not bad. I like it. It's one of the beast I've seen so pleeeeeease continue this.

I want you to continue this! This is very interesting!

I'd like to see more of the story. -.-

I like the ideas behind that, the story was good and the writing as well developed. Expanding the story while keeping all the currently existing good qualities would only improve it

It was great, I really hope that the story is continued. I don't really like how there is no possible way to end other than the men putting you back. If and hopefully when you continue this story, you should change some of the story lines around a bit. Otherwise this is a decent and promising story.

I liked it. I liked the cat in a sweater, because, why the hell not. 6/8

Please do write more with this! I'm afraid such a short story leaves you with very little to develop a plot line--however the quality seemed very good and I enjoyed the idea

I like it. Would be great if you continued it

Huh. Weird. BUT COOL

Interesting... the concept is a cool one, and your writing is good.
I hope to see this finished.

MOAR! This was awesome. MOAR! ENCORE!

I love the concept. It's always been that 'what if' question. "How do you get out of a room with no doors, no windows, and you have nothing but a hot dog bun (or whatever was in your pocket, lol)" As others have said, I'd love to see more variation, as well as description. Like the walls were white and smooth, like a heavy coffee cup. All in all, great puzzle story!

I love the reality/dream genre. This has great potential.

I'd like to see this finished. Send me a private message or post in the forums when it is. I'll gladly reread it, and explore a bit, if this is any indication of what a completed version would be like.

Actually pretty neat. I'd like to see where this goes from here :)