Player Comments on Winter, After the Harvest

The quality of writing was really good, there were little to no spelling or grammatical errors that I can remember. You can really tell the author spent a decent amount of time polishing and editing his story.

Malk's writing style has always been conducive to setting up a a believable atmosphere. The same can be said of the dialogue, its never janky or awkward and you can always imagine it being said by an actual person.

Writing style and quality is well done over all.

I decided to take the unwavering warpath...path and determine my own fate rather than accept an inheritance. I got the feeling the entire time the ritual was going to go terribly wrong.

“James was a fat, incompetent fuck." James is no longer best friend. Chn'Magoth is new best friend.

I'm liking the vomit scrying thing. Its very fitting for this type of story.

I see a sliver of Necromancer in here. Not to mean its been copied or ripped off in any way, but the "Me/Us against the world thing" is similar to what Necromancer had and its gives the story a nice rounded out feeling to it. The hubris of the protagonist and the characters really shines through in some instances, which is also a nice touch.

It's a goods setup for a dark fantasy story, and the site needs more of those anyways. So the dark fantasy category as well as the resulting stories were a good inclusion.

"You are not stricken down immediately, however, so it must be true."

Getting immediately murdered by the students would have been funny. But power does indeed reside where people believe it does, as the bald fella from game of thrones said.

"You cackle in delight as you leap into the air, punching a hole through the ceiling, and flying off into the night. " Something about this sentence seems off, but its probably just the relative brevity of it.

I think my one complaint is that I've found both ends to this path, I was really hoping there would be more to it. However, that's due to the story being set to a strict deadline, and I am sure if it wasn't there would have been more to it.

To be honest, the storygame description left my mind once I started reading, and I believe my curiosity got the better of me and lead me to ignoring the main path which should have been obvious to me.

I am most certainly going to be reading through the Lord Winter path, which should satiate my desire to see more.

This was very well written from what I have seen of it so far and I can say whole heartedly it deserved to win the contest.

First things first- loved the story. It was definitely one of the better ones that I have read on the platform. So very commendable.

Another aspect I quite enjoyed was the story set up. Quite simple, but effective. Either reject your destiny immediately or try to claim your inheritance? Yes please! Speaking of, that first choice really made it clear that the choices mattered and that is definitely a bonus. The variety that this story showed upon even a first play through- hell, even the first choice- is commendable.

However, there were some grammatical errors throughout the story (the one that stuck in my mind being the quotation mark instead of apostrophe on the page 'Listen to Tor Talk About His Gods'). Another item I would put into this category is the confusing player character response on the page 'I wish for me and my compatriots to be transported from this place...' which only context later provided an answer. This is because all the player character says is "a".

The lore itself is very well thought out and displayed. It is not shoved down the reader's throat and is instead given in little bits of optional exposition that make the world feel fleshed out and mysterious. Very well done. I would put Crowley's origin story among this critique, as it was buried in the lore and a nice little bit to find along the way to explain an otherwise very unexplainable and epic character.

The combat scenes are very well written and I never felt confused as to the placements of any of those involved. Thank you for making those very clear and concise.

The word choice was absolutely spectacular. I am glad the story had such a range of high-level vocabulary that fit the time period of the work. This led to the settings (like the city that trapped humans and.. fed off their souls, I think) and antagonists (such as the vampire) feel very original despite being done by others. In other words, very cool creative use of established monsters and concepts.

Just a note, I love the line: "It stumbles away in confusion, not realizing that it is already dead."

And I'll leave you with a question... is gargantuan your favorite word?

Interesting how candles are mentioned twice on the opening page. The MC burns through five, while elsewhere in the not too distant past, your Uncle lights one for your dead parents. One can't help but wonder if the wax seal on the letter was from the flame burned for your dead parents. Nice contrast with the name "Winter." Call to action, immersive opening, Winter starts off strong.

I think we all know whose narrator's voice is speaking with lines like this:

"In your dreams, you wander through impossible vistas in the shadowed days of antiquity."

I don't know if rejecting the letter was meant to be an entire branch, but that section did feel a little rushed. It went a lot longer than I imaged, though, which is why I mention it. I was honestly expecting a quick death and was pleasantly surprised to find more links to read through.

Since that choice, however, the path becomes very linear. There's an option for a quick death, but you're given single links for about four pages, maybe five if you don't count the quick death. It's not completely out of the setting as you're traveling towards a single destination. Maybe the solution is to combine one or two pages together. Or add more pages. The same can be applied to when you arrive at the crossroads.

I guess I was a little unaware of the ability of the MC to cast spells. When the party was first assembled, each member had their specific tasks or classes. There wasn't much background on the actual MC beforehand, but you discover abilities as you go. The option to cast a spell threw me off at first because of that. From the cast of characters, I'll say Stitcher stuck out. Not only because she was first introduced, but because her name is in obvious contrast to the woman herself. That sticks out and is how you make characters memorable. Nicely done. Frye and Tor were largely the same. John Boy wasn't as strong during my read. Crowley who?

As you journey, the MC grows more into an adventurer. More is shared, and you're learning to be skilled with a dagger. It adds to the immersion as progression is found, not only in story plot, but in the MC as well. Being at University, no wonder why you don't start off as a beard-growing, axe swinging BAMF. One doesn't become that without adventure and struggle.

With the Lich ending, I can't help but wonder if the story's come full circle. The estate itself doomed to lure adventurers in. The innocent MC starting out, fated to become undead evil. A dangerous place to approach, peril lying within. It's a fulfilling ending, neatly-wrapped with another letter (more symmetry) and leaves me wondering if the next story will involve the same world, an undead power to vanquish. A great addition to the newly-created category.

Gargantuan, gargantuan, gargantuan, gargantuan…

*Somewhat spoilery*


Loved the adventure path; kinda fucked up that Winter’s didn’t do anything about Thompson or acknowledge his death, and Crowley is just there with a vamp and brainwashed village; if there’s a sequel, the six could at least reunite

This was a good read.
I've only played through one of what I suspect are two paths so far, and will be going back to play through the other soon.
The story is well told, and the characters well developed, though I'm still left with some questions, like "why am I carrying around my grandfather's skull"/"how does magic actually work".

Darkest dungeon in CYOA form except you're the Occultist

each pathway feels kind of short, and though there was some decent world building I felt like there wasn't enough details in each scene especially when it came to the endings/epilogues. I like the premise, but I felt like it could of been more.

Let me just state the obvious right away: that was really fucking good. The story has a way of drawing you into its world so deeply that at times it almost feels like you're right there in Lord Winter's shoes, trudging through wastelands and other planes of existence with a grim determination. Every line of narration in this story almost feels like it was meticulously crafted to draw the reader further into the world and Lord Winter's quest.

The characters were fantastic, Crowley being my personal favorite for his mysterious demeanor and a pretty kickass background tied to Winter's ancestors. The group's dynamic is charming and seeing Winter grow closer to them as he sheds his posh exterior to become a jacked adventurer was really cool. They might just be the best main cast I've seen in a storygame in a long while.

I do have some complaints about the story, but most of them are minor (grammatical or spelling errors here and there). I was kinda bummed out to see that the alternate path for rejecting your destiny and staying at the university was so short and rushed but I'm positive that was just due to the time limit for the contest and that it would've been fully expanded had you the time. Still, it was a nice little distraction from the main path and gave me that nostalgic feeling of reading Necromancer for the first time.

Overall, this game is a solid addition to the site and one of the best storygames to come out in recent years. This well deserves its featured spot. I'm always gonna be more of a CYBERMONKEY guy though. 7/8

"Your fifth candle of the night burns low on your desk." these are shit candles if it takes more than 5 to get through a night, or I have a pentagram of candles on my desk. I will play as a satanist.

"The flame flickers in the cool breeze blowing in through the open window." Maybe this is why it took 5 candles to get this far. They go out and I just assume they're done for and light a new one. God I spend so much money on candles.


"On the floor, a half dozen books lay open. Some are taken from the University library, and some darker ones come from your own personal collection." Indeed. I am the embodiment of evil. Only the most dispicable of men would leave books open on a floor instead of bookmarking their place and stacking them as needed.

A boy is in my bed. Satanists have nothing against being gay. I am a gay satanist.

My uncle sucks ass at writing letters. I can't believe I read it three times and thought the words were rich. I read it once and all I thought was at least I'll get some money out of it. If I thought that letter was riveting then the reason those books are on the floor is certainly not because I read any of them but because I dont like my feet touching the dirty floor. Gotta save my feet for my boyfriend.

I dream of the olden days in which I never lived. I need to put on some electro-swing to get in the mood. My teenage brain longs for times I've only heard good stories about.

I don't blame myself for skipping a liberal studies lecture.

I'm glad I chose the ten biggest hottest men money can buy to take me. One is a female, but she definitely has a dick and I'm ready for it. Forgive me Lar for I will go against your wishes and become the horniest gay satanical dick sucker you have ever laid eyes on. I'm ready to get lost in the sauce proper now.

Bitchass I want the lordspath! You give me the best chance of tentacle rape and dont even let me pick it and die?! SHAME!

I hope the deer fucks me.

It fucked me, but not in the way I had hoped.

----------

Alright. My path length: short, good. I'm sure if I chose right it would lead to us getting round to spitspire where the money wouldnt be and I'd get struggle-fucked to within an inch of my life. Maybe be kept as a sex slave if I'm lucky enough to get the good ending. First paragraph best paragraph - it showed and didn't tell to a superb degree of perfection. Just that first paragraph alone was enough to build the world with sufficient detail to be functional. Letter was garbage but got the point across, might could've been a more smoothly executed plot device. I didn't get to show my satanic nature much, but I got to be alone in a forest with big gay men. Came twice thinking about getting DP'd by the she-dick and harpoon black guy. God Malk is sexy. Severely disappointed in no lordspath. I was presented with details surrounding a choice and then the choice was decided for me - naughty malk. If you take away the path because its unfinished then you should take away the discussion surrounding the path too. I very much dislike when a CYOA makes a choice for me, but I understand and sympathize with the time constraints of a contest. The bone demon deer was cool, but I think in the heat of adrenaline the mind moves faster and more detail can be squeezed out. I saw my guts spill out, but the writing didn't let me hear it.

I critize action scenes heavy because that's pretty much all I have experience writing, but the pacing is extremely important when things are happening in the blink of an eye and the reader can't take in all the information in the blink of an eye so the author has to slow everything down in order to fit a satisfying amount of detail into a scene that only lasts 5 seconds max. This concept isn't difficult, many authors do it, but it's the transition period BEFORE the action which is difficult to get right. Malk made the common mistake of bringing the action with a snap and a pop right away which is great in theory, but jarring to read. I like to think of the pacing going into the action as landing a plane. You want to land it hard and crash because in theory that would create the greatest action, but in practice it's better to lead a reader into the action and stretch the hot delicious detail. I'm not saying add fluff, nor am I saying to go all in with the details for many paragraphs, but a select choice cut of fatty flavorful detail goes down so much smoother when its not shoved down the readers throat. If I had to write the deer demon scene while still keeping a Malkian style of writing (not my own way of writing, but trying to keep the same pace as Malk would) I would have started with a heartbeat or exhale - a focus on a heartbeat or anatomical instant creates a stillness that leads the reader to a sense that things are about to happen one after the other, without having to crash them into the action with "the deer crossed the field instantly." instantly doesn't make me feel the deer, it makes me see it, but if Malk had the crossbow bolt deflect and then something like "Your heart dropped with the tail end of a shrill exhale. WhatsHisName's eyes went wide." before providing detail about the deer demon transformation, it slows the reader down more comfortably and they have time to feel the urgency in their chest. Also note I used long sentence short sentence pattern to begin to pick up the tempo, since the rest of the demon actions are happening boom-boom-boom. As an author it's important to make the action not just look good but also taste good and a less steep climb to action can allow for an excellent pace that both gives the author satisfaction to write all the savory details and the reader satisfaction to consume those details as fast as possible.

tldr dont manhandle the reader, give them a big ramp thats nice and smooth for their own takeoff into the rollercoaster of action.

A good example that isn't Malk is how Mizal does the same things in >DEVOTION where action happens in an instant. While she was able to slow it down the detail was sight-only and didn't have weight to it. Like watching an action movie with bad speakers, it doesnt hit hard unless the explosions boom in your chest. So this is all to say that Malk is not a bad writer, or that his action scene was crap, it just could've been better and more practiced. Malk has a talent for descriptive when he wants to be, and his scene congruency and pacing is A-tier, but if he took some time to practice bullet-time writing and experimenting with focus-fast-slow-fast action scenes, I think I would enjoy it more; and perhaps more action-oriented readers would like it too. But a review is just an opinion after all.

This is a dark story with mostly dark endings. You're a powerful sorcerer in this story that's much more dangerous than the average human. The problem is that it's a dangerous world and you aren't the biggest or the baddest out there.

Give it a whirl but keep in mind this is a dark world with dark themes.

An exciting path of adventure for a young mage with various paths made available to him by the recent passing of his uncle. Kill rapist donkeys, ghouls, meet eldritch beings, and more in this bit of adventure.

This is the 2nd path I took and I really enjoyed this one as well! My 1st time through I took the "merry band" route. (Don't the cute name of that fool you, things get wild."
I won't spoil it by going further.
This time I took the I think maybe "devil/lich route"? And then went back one page and chose the other option and that was the "cult" ending.
I kind of want to go back and do the "vampire" route just for fun. I LOVE the storyline every time I play. My favorite, was probably the merry band route of the game. The writing is super fun, keeps you engaged. I'm new to the site and had only played the top rated one on the homepage that was a zombie survival one. As fun as that was, I was really excited to find a more fantasy based game. It felt like I was reading a really good book.

I didn't want it to end! So much fun, I was actually sad when it was concluded. I wonder what would've happened had I taken other paths, and I may just go back and explore said paths.

It's like Dark Souls, but without all the rage and despair. Great storygame with incredible action scenes, everyone should read it.

I’ve read through what I presume to be most of the paths (starting a cult, becoming a vampire, becoming a lich and travelling home) and I have to say that this is my favourite story game I’ve read so far. Yes I am biased because Malk blew me a kiss, but that’s beside the point.

Positives:
-Just like my ex boyfriend, this thing is incredibly long but not unmanageable. I managed to all the paths that jumped out to me in just under an hour and the variety of paths were interesting enough to keep me coming back right to the start.
-The pacing is incredibly well written, there’s periods of ‘down time’ where we get pieces of nice character interaction that really made me care for my companions (even if the character I was playing as seems like a colossal dick to most people he meets).
-This game is incredibly fair. Even when I got a ‘bad’ ending I felt like I deserved it by not paying close enough attention in previous chapters. A good example of this is all the foreshadowing on how bad the donkeys are before we fight them for the first time, which leads to you dying if you’re a coward and don’t face them with your friends.
-The writing is clearly well read through and grammar and spell checked, I wanted to be able to put something here that was wrong with the punctuation but was unable too: good job!

Things to improve:
-Path disparity. Like measuring an stereotypical Korean next to someone from Congo, some of the paths are a lot longer than others. I’d especially like to see more work done on the cult path because that was something really interesting to me. This is just a nitpick but it really irked me how one of the starting choices led to a far more fleshed out story.
-The world building is good obviously, but one thing that stood out to me was the mention of grenades. If they’d been called explosives or even boom sticks it might not have broken my immersion, but the use for such a modern term for explosives was slightly strange to me. (Again this is more of a nitpick).
-The only other thing I can think of that wasn’t top notch about the story was the fact that we couldn’t choose which road to travel on with our companions. It seems like it’s gearing up for a choice (short and deadly versus long and safe) but we are railroaded directly into one of the options. It’d have been nice to choose.

Final review:
If you like skyrim, dnd, or any other adventure setting where a party of people head out on a quest, this story game is definitely for you. Well structured, it tells a wonderful narrative with likeable characters and jokes that are actually funny. The world seems vast and interesting to explore and I’d love to see more content for this setting.

Enjoyed it alot felt like I was playing skyrim.

Given the limited constraints of this storygame's writing, there has to be leeway given for the contest this was written for. Limited allotment of time meant that this storygame could not fulfill EVERY possible outcome to their logical end, and though there is a clear inclination towards the longest path, the alternative paths are adequate.

That being said, this storygame didn't come off as especially dark in its contents. Maybe I had my expectations skewed because it was Endmaster hosting the contest, or maybe because the story came to an abrupt end after you choose to abandon your family's inheritance. When you DO pursue your family's inheritance to its end, however, the story still manages to cut off before you can end up feeling accomplished. If there's no buildup to make up for a quick end, then there's not much than a quick romp through hell and back to begin with.

While the writing isn't necessarily dense (which makes it easily palatable), much of it is dedicated towards events happening in quick succession. There's wordplay here and there, and what action scenes do exist are quick and to the point, but bland. Perfect, really. As stated before though, if there's not much buildup to a quick end, there isn't much meat to sink your teeth into.

That being said, in comparison to many of its rivalling storygames, this game is BETTER than its peers. The story itself isn't bad (I actually would have like to have read more of it), but I feel like there isn't enough writing in the epilogues to feel like a payoff. If that can be rectified, I certainly would give another attempt at this story a much higher rating.

I really enjoyed this story as a whole. Both the path of adventure and that of the cult are interesting and feel well thought out and paced. Though my favorite is definitely adventuring with companions.

There is decent branching and lots of interesting endings to find throughout the story. The grammar is good, the storytelling itself is very good, and the characters feel individual and interesting to me. My only complaint is that I honestly wanted more twists and turns to explore. The world is interesting and so are the characters, I was kind of sad when it was all over.

7/8 Great job!

It's obvious why this story won the contest, because it was awesome, start to finish. I didn't really know what to expect going in, but I ended up going through a wealth of events and a few endings to get what I presume is the true ending. This story is seriously worth reading!

Minor spoilers ahead:

First of all, the characterization was impeccable. I went down a path of hiring adventurers, and they were mostly very distinct and interesting. The only one that felt lacking was John Boy (also, John Boy is a pretty lame name). Stitcher was probably the best, she felt like a badass paladin, almost unworthy of the setting she exists in. Nonetheless, she is forced to baptize you with dirt and a half-assed agreement. Crowley is directly tied to your character, in a way that is quite interesting. He was basically the Doom Slayer, but with his own quirks.

The writing itself is damn near perfect for the setting, because gross analogies are used, and a gritty tone is created from the get-go (which is contrasted by the optimism of some of the adventurers and their tales). Despite generally not enjoying blood and guts for the sake of blood and guts, the blood and guts here are tasteful and just repulsive enough to keep you reading.

The lore is very interesting, and I kind of want a sequel for this purpose. Your character is a very knowledgeable scholar, and yet you as a reader do not get a lot of that knowledge. This might just be me, but I really love those optional lore pages, and this story could do with some. The Grim Harvest is especially interesting, because it's in the title, it seems important, and it sounds intriguing as all hell!

Full plot spoilers ahead:

I'll say that the lich ending is fucking awesome. It's like a story within itself that builds up to this epic and satisfying climax. You finally rise up out of obscurity as the most powerful, and evil, being to exist! This is definitely the true ending, because I branched out a bit from the main path to see some other endings, and none were as good as this one. It's a classic wrap-around to the beginning which feels perfect and as a bonus it offers up some additional lore.

To get this ending I took a path through the Far Realms, which was definitely disturbing. There were a couple of issues here, mainly that the people I rescue in hopes of using as meat shields just disappear between pages. Additionally, there's one page where "perenially" and "ponderous" are repeated several times within a few paragraphs, and this just reads really weird.

Overall, this path makes a lot of sense as the power source behind the prosperity of that one village, and while reading it I was actually kind of terrified for the character and his companions. The initial feeling of the character was the same as mine: "Oh shit, I'm dead". Except I actually managed to escape. This escapade through the outer reaches of existence was unexpected to me, and a sudden shift in the setting, but was actually really well done. I only wish I could let Crowley loose in this place, because I got some DOOM vibes with the whole "demons chilling and torturing innocents for eternity in this shattered city", and he seems like the perfect solution.

Once again, I highly recommend this story, it checks off all the boxes, with good writing, a good plot, and some good degeneracy!

Well, I can honestly say that I can see why this story-game won the contest that it was in. What I especially enjoyed is how unabashedly dark the story can get, and is. However if it was only just that going for this, I don't think I would have enjoyed it quite as much as I found myself to be enjoying it.

Malk's writing, but especially his dialogue in particular makes the characters interesting. The next choices are not ones that are slogs to get through, but things to look forward to on whether or not the journey may end in some way or another, but continue as well. I've already played through this more than thrice, but I don't see myself stopping with just these three current play-throughs.

I would recommend to anyone that has an interest in dark fantasy to read this, but I would also recommend this to anyone that enjoys stories that are as well-written, as they are interesting as well. This story has both of those mentioned things in spades.

This story had an interesting world with a lot of cool characters; this is one of those games where you really feel like you are there. I really liked the way Croly showed the main character his story, and you felt like you got to see his personality even though he couldn't talk. I also liked how there were a lot of choices that made significant differences. (Spoiler ahead), I also liked how well the implication was displayed that the man the main character met in the go to your inharatence, and then go with your group for the vampire mission path was probably from a different plane than the main character and his party. The only downsides were I wish there was just a little more branching in some places, and I wish this game could have included getting Croly back. For a future recommendation, I think it would be great to have a game where you could pick a race, stats, and skills in this world. In this game, I would also like to know if a character could have the religious skills such as baptizing and healing, and magic that is completely good at the same time. It would also be cool to throw in the strengths and weaknesses of the different weapons used by the party.

This was a solid story with great setting and atmosphere, which I kept thinking over and over throughout the story. I definitely got a sense for all the characters' personalities along the way. This story doesn't have a lot of inner thoughts and is more action focused, which works well here.

There is a main fork and a small side fork at the beginning of the story, then everything follows in roughly linear fashion up until you encounter the master of a small village, where there's a clear choice to be made. The story really ramps up interest there, and keeps it through the end. It could be a little less linear, but as I like normal books too, it doesn't bug me much. There were 3 fake choices in the mad city that I think were there to just make it less linear for the contest. It'd be cool to see a future update to this story that makes them meaningful.

I'd recommend reading this to anyone who likes the genre.