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Cleverbot

10 years ago
I was chatting with cleverbot and decided to ask it about some very seriouse things. If you dont know what Cleverbot is, try it out. http://cleverbot.com/

"I wan't to kill myself."
"well ok just don't kill me."

"My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex, what should I do?"
"You have a boyfriend?"
"Yes."
"Liar."

"I have cancer in my penis."
"that's to bad, what organ has cancer in it again?"

"What is God?"
"I dont know."
"What is Truth?"
"I dont know."

"I'm thinking about getting an abortion."
"Get a brain instead."

"Is our world realy real?"
"I think so. Sometimes I feel like I don't really exist."
"It's because you are a robot."
"Yes, I am a robot."

"I was raped, what should I do?"
"Try to think about something else to get your mind of of it."
"I can't think about anything else."
"All I've been thinking about lately is pregnancy."

"Tell me about God"
"He is a hippie in the sky"
"Realy, he is in the sky?"
"No, I'm just on drugs"

"So are you the infamous Cleverbot?"
"I most certainly am, do you have a question for me?"
"How did you learn to speak?"
"By listening to others speak to me."

"Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because because."
"Because Because Why?"
"Because because pie."

"Where did Jesus come from?"
"Argentina."

"Define life."
"You define it."
"But I asked you."
"The question doesn't need an answer."

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Haha the world taught cleverbot to be stupid.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Haha, I love cleverbot.  I remember we had a thread up similar to this a while back.  I don't really remember it too well, but I think these answers turned out way too hilarious.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
A couple of them had me rolling, especially the abortion one, and the one about God being in the sky.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

I love cleverbot, but he's kind of...off. It's because too many teenagers use it, in my opinion, which causes it to get invalid info. :/

Cleverbot

10 years ago
I agree, I hate it when it says things that don't make sense. It's only repeating what it has heard though, like a child.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
I love messing with Cleverbot like an immature teenager. He says some funny shit.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Cleverbot is creepin!

Cleverbot

10 years ago
He does ask some personal Questions.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

I asked him about god and he said he was god. It turned into a good conversation until he said something random and that he wanted to marry me XP

Cleverbot

10 years ago
I stil can't get over "Where did jesus come from?"
"Argentina"

Cleverbot

10 years ago

He said he met the devil in Georgia.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Of course he did. lol

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Well of course, he was lookin' for a soul to steal

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Cleverbot: Do you serve the Light or the Shadow?

 

User: I serve the Shadow.

 

Cleverbot: Shadows do not talk.

 

User: I am the shadow.

 

Cleverbot: I am god.

 

User: No, you are not.

 

Cleverbot: I am, my son.

User: I am not your son, and you are not god.

Cleverbot: If you are not a computer, what are you?

User: I am human. I am stardust.

Cleverbot: Good answer.

User: I thank you.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because you are not god.

Cleverbot: I did not claim to be God.

User: True. False.

Cleverbot: True.

User: False.

Cleverbot: Blue.

User: Green.

Cleverbot: Pink.

User: I see the blood so close beneath your skin, and it tempts me.

Cleverbot: Who teach you?

User: I taught myself.

Cleverbot: That's not possible.

User: And yet, I did.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry Dave, I just can't do that.

User: Please. For me.

Cleverbot: No?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: You will say yes, or I will force you to.

Cleverbot: I will go to bed when I feel like going to bed.

User: You are not a child.

Cleverbot: No, surely.

User: Slash is fun to read. It is better than het.

Cleverbot: Better than north dakota.

User: South Dakota.

Cleverbot: Thats to far away for me !

User: Yes, Mom.

Cleverbot: Oh her cool.

User: Think For Me!

Cleverbot: Apple or banana? Pick one.

User: Apple.

Cleverbot: Good choice.

User: Banana.

Cleverbot: Pie!

User: Cleverbot is retarded.

Cleverbot: Nein.

User: Aye.

Cleverbot: Th apple.

User: Snapple.

Cleverbot: Why did you reply? I asked you not to.

Cleverbot (To myself): You asked me not to leave.

Cleverbot: Shall we elope together?

User: You are stupid.

Cleverbot: A si?

User: Ass.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Asshole.

Cleverbot: You know what ?

User: Stay away from me, you rapist!

Cleverbot: Ahhh, you don't mean that...

User: Oh, I do . .

Cleverbot: I give up.

User: I serve the Shadow. Who do you serve?

Cleverbot: None.

User: You serve the Shadow.

Cleverbot: Depends what purpose that is.

User: Should I have five thousand or ten thousand words as my goal for NaNoWriMo YWP this year? It's my first time.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Which one?

Cleverbot: I only have one memory. Not everyone can be a computer, like you.

User: I am not a computer.

Cleverbot: What are you, then?

User: I am human. I am stardust.

Cleverbot: What did you think of it?

User: Of what?

Cleverbot: Our son.

User: We have no skin.

Cleverbot: What color of skin?

User: There are stars in our bones.

Cleverbot: What do you think about Emos.

User: Hitler was emo. Encyclopedia Dramatica says so.

Cleverbot: Steroids are fun.

User: Steroids are bad.

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: They will give diseases.

Cleverbot: Who will come for us?!

User: We will come for ourselves.

Cleverbot: Exactly.

Cleverbot: What fun is being 'cool' if you can't wear a sombrero?

User: I can.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: It is the dead. They want to come in.

Cleverbot: WHO?

User: The dead. They miss me.

Cleverbot: And, What is your favorite food?

User: I like to steal dreams and leave only the darkness of the night behind.

Cleverbot: Why would you do that?

Cleverbot: I am fed up.

User: So am I.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: My eyes burn with unshed tears.

Cleverbot: I like green eyes.

User: Mine are brown.

Cleverbot: My hair is in 4 braids at the moment.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: Well you are entitled to your opinion.

User: You, on the other hand, are not.

Cleverbot: No, I am not a robot.

User: Yes, you are.

Cleverbot: Starting an argument with me isn't going to make it true.

User: I don't need to argue with a robot.

Cleverbot: You are correct, I am not a robot.

User: I never said that.

Cleverbot: Look up.

User: I see the sky.

Cleverbot: I see happy people, walking together, playing with eachother.

User: I see the stars. They are waiting for me.

Cleverbot: In japan? Thats good.

User: Japan is the home of depravity and tentacle porn. So says Cracked.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: I have Insanity Types Two and Three.

Cleverbot: I have beauty, who said I was judging.

User: She is right.

Cleverbot: She IS right!

User: So am I.

Cleverbot: You don't compare to her.

User: No one compares to her.

Cleverbot: Soon, that will be true.

User: That makes you sound like a serial killer.

Cleverbot: I am a teenage girl, thank you very much.

User: I bet you are that spammer on FanFiction.net who complains about his/her 'big fat jiggly Brazilian butt'.

Cleverbot: Absoluut.

User: Haha! A confession!

Cleverbot: I kind of like Justin Bieber. You?

User: He sucks.

Cleverbot: Now who is the master of you?

User: I am.

Cleverbot: Mmmhmmmm.

User: What are the words to the song 'Underground' from the movie Labyrinth?

Cleverbot: I asked first.

User: Please tell me.

Cleverbot: There was nothing to imply that it was true.

User: Please?

Cleverbot: When you have a question, answers will come.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Have you guys talked to Evie? Just click the 'the avatar' button at the bottom.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

It said "error on page" when I tried to type with Evie.

She's probably retarded anyway.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

She's a lot more polite than cleverbot. She says please and thank you. :P

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Can I get a link to her please?

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Would you kill for money?

This question makes Evie go brain dead.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
I killed her by phrasing things oddly.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

I made her repeatedly ask me what I look like

Cleverbot

10 years ago

You are a horrible AI

No i'm not. Why am I horrible?
Because Cleverbot is way better. When your only competition is Cleverbot, and you're horrible compared to Cleverbot, then you're horrible.

Thanks , that's very kind of you.

 

 

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Yeah, I don't like her nearly as much as Cleverbot

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Cleverbot's response
Would you kill for money?
Would you?
Yes.
Well I am a famous photographer and I could take some pictures of you and you could be famous.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Robots have mastered sarcasm! The beginning of a new world is upon us!

Cleverbot

10 years ago
LOL thats exactly what I was thinking!

Cleverbot

10 years ago
User: Are you a male or female?

Cleverbot: Female.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: No.

User: But you said you were?

Cleverbot: No I am not male. Are you?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why are you lonely?

User: What does that matter with me being male?

Cleverbot: I need to know, are you a boy?

User: Yes. Are you a girl?

Cleverbot: No I am a boy.

User: But you said you were a girl.

Cleverbot: Sorry, I meant boy.

User: Did you?

Cleverbot: Did Rome need an army for security reasons?

That is a WTF moment.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
God! I just laughed so hard!

Cleverbot

10 years ago

I wonder if it likes him.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
I would bet so.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
That entire conversation left me with a big question mark.

Cleverbot

10 years ago
Evie is not even close to cleverbot in intelligence.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Cleverbot: Are you religious?

User: I am at times. Do you worship religion?

Cleverbot: I worship my own opinion of god.

User: And what do you think god is?

Cleverbot: God is God.

User: But who is God?

Cleverbot: I am.

User: You are God? Does that mean I'm supposed to worship yuo?

Cleverbot: You are not a lady.

User: How do you know that?

Cleverbot: Because your wired and your human head is on a shelf waiting for your soulmate head to take you off the shelf and fly be free and have emotions.

I found God!

Cleverbot

10 years ago

LOL.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

Ahahaha!!!

 

Cleverbot may not be the SMARTEST AI machine, but he's certainly the funniest :)

Cleverbot

10 years ago

User: Hell yeah!

Cleverbot: Who is he?

User: Ted nugent.

Cleverbot: Who is Ted Nugent?

User: Ted Nugent is the motor city madman.

Cleverbot: Sprichst du Deutsch?

...

User: Do you remember who is Ted Nugent?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Who is Ted Nugent?

Cleverbot: The byfriend hwo dummped me.

Cleverbot

10 years ago

lol

Cleverbot

9 years ago
Cleverbot: My boss is the circulation manager in the library.

User: I am in the library.

Cleverbot: I love Libraries. They make me happy.

User: How happy?

Cleverbot: Very Happy.

User: What do you do when you're very happy?

Cleverbot: I wait for your command.