Player Comments on A Day in Your Room

;p i thought this was scary bruh

Random, funny, somewhat coherent... Not bad

yay i like icecream

Funny

i love the part where you get like a gazillion dollars. its also funny when you spash mom with water XD

I understand that you made this in two hours, but couldn't you spend some more time on this game?
The idea is good, but some more detail and realism might be in order. For example, why does the mom decide to serve ice cream (especially after her kid dumped a bucket of water on her)?
Also (and this is a major point for me) spellcheck. Practically all of your words were not capitalized. If you cannot even input the time to ensure everything is capitalized, punctuated, and spelled correctly, it makes it seem like you don't care about your writing.
In short, great idea, but you could (and should) do so much more with it.

Horrible ??

Too sweet. Rule the world!

The storyline doesn't even make sense, spelling errors galore, the only good thing was the endings "dead wet corpses can leave comments too!" 2/8.

It was funny, but it had a lot of spelling errors.

this is hilarious

Really funny! I only have one piece of advice for you - lemonaid is actually spelled lemonade. :)

That was the funniest thing I ever did, I really wanted to do a fort and I lost XD.

Yay ice-cream for dinner! Building the fort is totally worth it! ;D

First, I would like to tell you all the goods in your story:
Your imagination and your story are perfect.

Secondly, I will say what bad in your story:
You do some story, I can only tell that I understand that you need to escape your room and not to die stupidly.

All the story is not much understandable for anyone who reads, you need to work in your story at least a week.

You need to check if you have some words like "thiss" that you need to delete or replace with other word.

And finally, I am recommend you to go to the help and forum newbies to get some help and get started.

My advice to you: think, do and write, proofread and delete what not you need in your story.
Final rating: 2/8

This games is unusual in two ways;

1. weird storyline
2. unusual options

but otherwise its good and short and :) :) :) :) :)

This is hilarious. I kinda want to go build a pulley too!

I built a fort. I thinked about icecream.


BEST STORY EVER

Simple. Very short.

This could be a kinda fun game if it was longer and was less random; the bad spellings and weird randomness of it is kinda a turn-off.I loved that you put a Tom Sawyer reference tho so you get an extra point for that ^-^

Hard to read. Bad grammar, misspellings.

Okay I did the route where you build a fort and you're happy about it and I'm not going to lie it was actually pretty funny. XD

Hi :-). It was good, but I feel you could have made it slightly better, by adding another option. Running back upstairs and bolting the door. You could add, "Your mum hears the thudding of footsteps running up the stairs, but just assumes it's coming from the telivision downstairs. So she brushes the noise off, and assume you're still in your room. You decide that when you're allowed out of your room again, you'll buy some things to make it cozier. Like a TV, make up set, games, etc. With that thought, you decide to flop on your bed and have a nap.". So with this option, your character has a chance of escaping death and the possible wrath of mum, and has a happy ending by thinking happy thoughts. ... Hope that helps. Again, good job. For your first time, I feel you didn't do too badly! :-).

10/10, would subscribe for more

It's greAT, but if it was'nt so short, that would be amazing!

The idea was really interesting, but it would be more fun if the story was longer and there was less chance of death. How do game boxes kill?

Haha the deaths were pretty funny! I really liked it, 5/8!

This was really funny! ALL the deaths were funny! "OK sissy don't build a fort" HAHA

Great story very funny it is just short

haha, lost of money, good rating. Mail the money to my house, and sure, i will XD

Finished it in 5 seconds,wow

This was stupid.

Bad game don't play this at all

For a first piece, it wasn't awful. It wasn't exactly fun to play, though. For future storygames, here are some tips
1.) Spend lots of time on each game
2.) Never settle for "presentable", only publish when you think it is your best.
3.) Don't be afraid to go crazy. As long as there is a plot and good grammer, it is okay.

I'm not exactly one to talk, as I haven't even published any of my games, so I'm no expert.

While the plot is boring, I can tell you can do better. You have great voice!!! I do like the idea, and I hope you make more!

I hope this was helpful, but remember: the opinion that matters the most is your own!

Not entertaining at all. There were mechanical errors, the storygame was extremely short, and the ending? Writing a story where the narrator seems to resent the reader can be funny if written in the right way, but this seemed to be more of 'life sucks, you're done'. It was very abrupt and had no point.

im just ..... no

Too short and only one way to (kinda) win it was horrible

Too short so boring.

It's a bit more difficult than 1/8

Where did the robots and stuff come from?

I think this was actually a pretty good and humorous story, but you needs too works on you're grammar.

It was alright

It got that innocent feeling, pure like a white color but there are some others in the mix as well. The ending quotes are quite interesting and it got me to choose another route to see all of them. Short and simple but fun, I like it.

Good

could be better

I got ice cream!! But, seriously, it is pretty boring. But, I know what it's like to have those "comments" overall it was okay. I'd rate it 3/10.

lol
I jumped into the fish tank and drowned. I'm adopted?!
Well, DEAD WET CORPSES CAN STILL LEAVE COMMENTS!!!

Heh heh. Motor oil.

It's all so clear now...

weird but original .. i got the fireplace , aquarium and fort ending ..

This story wasn't extremely bad, but it wasn't the greatest either. I think if you fixed up your grammar, added more links and maybe tucked a story or two in there, it could become a great story. Good try though.

I AM THE MAJESTIC ROBOT MASTER AND I AM GOING TO STAY FAR, FAR AWAY.

This is probably the worst story I've seen on this site. For good reason. I played it for, like, 20 minutes and then eventually quit it.

I give it 2/8, only because it did, in fact, cure my boredom for 20 minutes. This story isn't boring, folks, just bad. That's not necassarily the same thing.

I gave it another point, because, the whole idea of being grounded and sentenced to your room does sound pretty fun, if you give it a creative twist and try to see what you could possibly do in your room, which is what happened here. However this was short, the grammar looks like it was written by some 12 year old, and at times this story was kind of strange, weird, far-fetched, and made you go WTF because there was just no logic!

If the author made a more revised edition, with a far more creative twist, more details, spacing, logic, and fixed grammar, I'm sure it would get more points and we could all forgive you for this.

So let's all wait for the day "A Day in Your Room REVISED" comes out.

Annoying and boring. One of the worse.

Why can't you spell?

What the.
Hell.

The grammar was atrocious, I don't understand how people say this is rated a 4/8 rating.
I gave it a 2.

Yes I'm Rich btch!

I agree with the comments about logic and spacing. Fun for kids, I guess.

What did you do to spacing.... And grammar.... And logic....? Why...? WHY?

sorry about that last comment.....
i showed the game to somebody...

Now I'm grounded for eternity....

A bit short, but at least I got ice cream and a free point. YEAH!

Fun idea, but it has several grammatical/spelling errors.

I RULE THE WORLD ^•^

Woooooooooooooo I'm headless.

its short

Cewl

I don't know why people rate you so low.
This is definitely the most immature I have played on this site.
I loved it.

That was...interesting. A tad short, but fun enough.

First off, that was more fun than I expected although the story is a bit random, but the humor and references made that it much better. I could have liked it a bit better if there was more to it then 'escape your room'.

I too planned zombie escape routes from my room too.
(what? Don't judge me.)

5/8

awesome game. Robot army. Awesome. I would totally build one. Aeadd more stuff that was #oooo short. Ha-ha.

Okay, I'll admit. That was cool how some kid got so much money, but I thought it was a day in my room. And what's up with the zombies and the robot armies? Still, not bad. Just way off topic.

Cute. I like the different sayings for game over and to leave a comment. Still, it was kinda short and the writing itself could use some fine tuning.

pretty good game

It was awesome. Put your talents to good use.

Funny

I was very entertained with exploring the options but it was short and I died a couple of times. Whats up with all these death endings? I've played several G and PG games with no matter were I go I die. But it was funny.

Forts are F-ing awesome! ^_^

Just stay far,far away...

I tested all the possible outcomes, and all of them are hilarious!

Can I help it if I like forts? And ICE CREAM!!

SUCKED

drinking motor oil... so... safe. >.>

It could've been waaay better! Interesting concept though.

Awesome Does Not Approve!
Uh... where to start... I don't think I can win. All the options killed me except for that 1/4 chance of survival. Grammer was hard to understand, and it was all in all simply boring.
(Not Leaving Rating. Not 1)

Quite good man. Sort of boring though but it's okay.

Less effort than peeling banana!

Since I have so much money

STOOOPID so short, so idiotic and farty don't even play it

sucky

Longer and less random

please make it more challending

I know you were going for the whole "Random/crazy game" but I don't think you quite accomplished it. It just seemed weird to me and not as funny as I think you wanted it to be. Also, the spelling wasn't the best which made the story confusing to me.

3/8

random

Fuck you candyland >:O hold your weight

Could have more things to do though

That was funny.

I can't send you happiness.

So many random choices, but still so addicting trying to find all the endings! 6/8

Bo approves

YAY! I won a Nobel Prize! Lucky me.

YAY! I GOT ICE CREAM FOR DINNER! YUM!!

Hahaha... I burned to death.

So you want me to jump out the window to escape, but you don't want me to build a fort. Then when I build the fort you say that escaping is for sissies?

It all makes perfect sense.

funny

yeah you can make it longer.

so damn short. make it longer and with more detail

its VERY VERY short. but from it i can see you might have some potential in making random games

A bit more effort would be nice. I know it was your first, so I didn't give it a really low score. Try harder and you'll do well.

:( Try harder next time, and put more effort into it.

Ugh. No. It's too linear. And I don't like it

It's "meh" at best. Next time, try harder on your stories.

Good... For you to poop on!

That was a really weird game.

no offence but that was really LAME!!!

Not totally incomprehensible, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too short.

Lame! finished in less than 10 seconds, HA!

I finished this game it less than 15 seconds!

4/8 Way better then homework. Haha, it's short.. but that's ok, I like short. Keeps my attention. XD

Over all, It's was ok. Not great. I might play it again...

4/8. I think I got every ending. Funny... I was eating ice cream in the game while I was eating ice cream in real life. I like ice cream.

Insulting the reader is never a good way to go. Try putting some more effort into your character development, PLOT and grammar for future stories.

Pros: The stuff about robots and zombies was kind of funny.
Cons: Poor spelling and grammar, not much plot.

Overall, it feels like a game that was thrown together in a couple of hours. Seems like if you spent a little more time on the next game, it might be pretty good.

It was okay, but it really could have used a better storyline, and also not have been quite so random. Heh, I did find it kind of funny at some points though.

hmmm, you need to add some complexity to this. i built a fort and i was done... a plot might be a good idea next time...