Player Comments on Pirates of Ocracoke

Instead of telling us what will happen in the link, for example first page, get overrun or successfuly raid the ship, try telling us, just use chaos or plan and give more detail as to what that implies in the text. The plot line could also be more devolved, and try adding in some real Blackbeard facts, a little study can really make a difference. Send me a msg when you get that solved and I'd love to give the game a second try!

This game could've been fun, but the choices just didn't work. Story games are fun because the player gets to make decisions, and they don't know what's going to happen next. If the reader has the choice of, "You skip merrily through the poppy field" and "You get attacked by a bear and die", which do you think they'll pick? It'd be a lot better if you changed the choices so that the player doesn't know what's going to happen next.

Alright, you don't want to tell EVERYTHING in the story description, but just a rough idea of how the story is going to go. You don't want to ruin the ending for the readers by giving out the whole plot.

You might want to correct a few words and tense conflicts between sentences on your first few pages.

Also, don't title your choices by their consequences, but by their actions. You aren't going to hold your readers in thrilling suspense if they get to choose the endings based on how they want it.

You did well for the first pages, but please do try to persevere and spend more time on the later pages, as the detail and effort seems to have lessened as I go farther on in the story.

You've got potential. I'd like to see you go farther with this story though ;)

It was one of those Wow it's gonna be good-But then not stories.
I clicked on the first page, lots of text good picture wow!
But then as the story progressed, you had like 5 words on a page, Lame...

So this is a total 2/8.