Player Comments on Short Circuit

Fokken savage Aman :P

Its not bad. Its not good. Its average.

The writing was good with few mistakes and though the color changing words weren't all bad, they seem to detract from the emotion that you want the words to portray by trying to simulate emotio through the colors, otherwise everything else was ok.

Even with this being a 90 minute game, I believe that it could've been made longer and that you could've added a few more choices to make it more interactive.

Overall this was a fairly enjoyable read, if you like this kind of stuff, and it does a good job a portraying real-life situations.

It's far from the worst thing ever, but it's got a lot to work on. First to note, the changing colors in the text work very jarring. I get what you're trying to do-- set a tone based on the page's unique color as well as the choice preceding it. What I'd suggest as an alternative to that is to work on writing more vividly so you wouldn't need to rely on colors to set a tone for your writing.
Next is the actual content. It was all pseudo-intellectual in a way I didn't like. You wrote about very vague things-- a friend named Vince, you wanting to kill yourself, and then you barrage us with non-sequiturs about art. I just felt like there wasn't any substance to it all.
Look, you said it yourself-- the game is meaningless and we should make out of it what we can. Dunno, there wasn't really much to go on except how to react when you try to kill yourself. There was no point to it and not even a good story to boot.
Lastly, I thought this was gonna be about the Steve Guttenberg film haha.
Note that I'm rating this '2/8' based on the fact that it's a Storygame, not taking into the fact that it only took you an hour an a half. 90 minute storygames are great to see how fast you can write something and how far your imagination can go-- but it's not necessarily something you should publish and expect great results. If you want to write a very random story game that's fine, it can be amusing or thoughtful even, but this was neither fun or insightful, which makes it hard to excuse the length and substance. Maybe next time you write a game, even if it's another 90-minute one, think through what you want to write about and elaborate on it, plan out events that will happen and work through them. Make a story out of it, even! And if it takes you more than 90 minutes that's fine, but make the use of time worthwhile.
Good luck.

Terrible. Hurts the eyes, ha ha.