None of that was directed toward you. Are you using non-threaded view? Edit: You make a valid point in two though.

Unless they were all textured like this, they wouldn't be any worse than this. If you generated monochrome noise in an image editor, lassoed a random part of it (make sure no options for edge smoothing are selected), and gaussian blurred the selection, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between it and this 500-word cheese grater. Just because I'm feeling generous:

• Caps lock: I don't recall ever reading anything that really needed all-caps words. An exclamation mark or and em-dash followed by an exclamation mark usually does the trick. That said, when caps is used very sparingly, it's tolerable and not as distracting.
• Bold: The point of using bold is to draw attention and separate it from the rest of the text. By bolding and capitalizing the onomatopoeia, you've drawn attention away from everything else to focus on it.
• Onomatopoeia: I fucking hate comic-style onomatopoeia in prose. In most, if not all, cases, it's childish and disruptive. You don't need a "Slam!" when somebody slams a door. You don't need a "Smash!" when somebody knocks a vase off a table. You don't need a "Bang!" when somebody fires a gun. And, for the love of God, I never want to see a "SQUIRT, SQUIRT!" or any variation of it in somebody's writing ever again.
• Italics: In my opinion, this is the only readable part of your... story. If you hadn't italicized Christine's text, I probably wouldn't have read it. Like bold, however, italics is used to emphasize text except it's not as abrasive as bold. It's still something you should use in moderation.

Well, I suppose this is the closest I'll ever get to rubbing sandpaper on my eyes. I doubt there'll be anything as soothing as italics in sandpaper though, so I would randomly caps lock some words in Christine's text and throw in some bolded onomatopoeia too.

Normally, I'm not into chicks with dicks, but Bayley is the obvious choice here. I wouldn't touch Cody with or without a dick.

Please don't ask how everyone is doing after assuming they're having a good day. Thank you for assuming and asking though; it was very kind of you.

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