Player Comments on Choices of the Heart

A Teenie Romance

Oh a rare romance game! No wait, it's in edutainment? How is this edutainment? How ...? Anyway, this is a young adult romance. Although the wordcount is not huge, it feels very long as you are basically going through all the pages in linear order, whichout significant branching.

As far as I can tell there are no typos or grammatical errors.

Also there is some good practice within the scenes, such as describing impressions from different senses and frequent use of similes in descriptions.

What I didn't like so much is that these techniques are applied randomly and almost robotically. For example when we leave the house in the beginning I am told the doorknob is cold, so yeah that means we got the sense of tough covered, but in a way that does not advance the story at all. In the same scene we get plenty of similes describing the fathers voice. But they all say that he is bored and midly annoyed, which is no surpise because he has to say the most mundane line possible three times in a row. I would have expected him to sound bored and slightly annoyed without the three similes. I guess his mild annoyance also counts toward intorducing conflict to the scene, which is normally good, but again the conflict leads to nothing.

There are some weird consistency issues between scences. Why is our father so intent that we get ready when in the next scene he is not even the one driving us to school?

So in summary not much happens, perhaps this is due to the genre? The writing is good on the small scale, but doesn't really move the story ahead as much as it should.

Tyler got that ohio rizz but Cameron's a sigma at heart.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED TO SEE THEM KISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Also i wish u had done a bit more with the home life and also seriously Tyler just got pressed and left after knowing her 4 5 min like what? But i love the characters and her relationship w/cam especially going to prom with him but MAKE THEM KISSSSSSSSSSSS

I really enjoyed this and that is saying a lot coming from me -someone who finds herself enjoying thrillers, the horror genre, and mysteries- yet I loved this. The plot and grammar were solid; my only complaint was it read more like a story and was less interactive. I felt like the only choses that metered were the ones at the very end. But overall, it was great, and I loved it! Thanks for the awesome story!

Excellent work! I had a good time reading this one. The grammar was good, and the language was easy to follow. Though, sometimes I felt like the characters behaved a bit weird. <<SPOILERS AHEAD>>

For example, I would have expected the father to attempt to bring Madison back home when she chose to stay with Cameron at some point. Also, it is mentioned that Jessica is supposed to be ruthless and will do anything to maintain her position in the social hierarchy, but she doesn't really make any moves against Madison. Maybe if I had made different choices, she would've done something? I'm not really sure.

Also, there was a place where I noticed that the reader was asked to click a link based on whether they were honest or defensive with Tyler. You can actually record that choice with a variable and then use a link restriction to prevent the wrong choice from appearing. I'd recommend reading the articles on variables and link restrictions for this.

Overall, I thought it was quite a decent read.