7/10/2024

11/3/2024 4:27 AM

56

1

0 wins / 0 losses

Warden

Ignis and Aero

Aero, a 14-year-old inhabitant of the village of Albritton, wants nothing more than to read his enthralling storybooks in peace. When he hears of a Golem wandering in the forests near his village, he is more than happy to let the professionals deal with it, while staying within the comfort of his home.

Unfortunately for him, his adventurous brother, Ignis, has other plans.

Author's note: If you want to collect all endings, then there are six of them: The Wise, The Mourner, The Cleaner, The Knight, The Skeptic and The Magician. Certain choices don't have immediate effects but may influence the endings. Also, certain endings can be reached through multiple different paths.

Submitted for Sherbet's Summer's End Synergy Contest.

Special thanks to mrcrimsonclean for proof reading :]

Thanks :]

Soo, a bit of bad news... I don't think I'll be able to get my second story done by the end of the deadline. I'd love to say it was because of other commitments, but honestly, I think I just managed my time terribly. My second story is nowhere near done and I don't think trying to rush it will help its quality. Therefore, I've made the decision to post that one outside of the competition. Just wanted to drop a message here in case anyone was looking forward to it. I might be able to post it in a week or two, provided I actually learn from my mistakes.

It's basically impostor syndrome in a poem lol. Though, I think listening to others talk about your work really helps deal with any self-dissatisfaction. Thanks :]

Thanks :]

I found this poem I wrote ages ago and thought I'd share. Read if you have nothing better to do, I guess :P



In his head, he has an image of radiant lining.
An ideal undying, the perfect man, shining.
A man who can take on the world and win
A being beyond logic, surely without a twin.

His eyes are fixed on the man worth admiration
Steadfast as a pilgrim on a paved road of imitation
"If I could even be half of what he is
Mine would be pride, mine would be bliss"

Worldly desires pull him by his wrist
Away from perfection, he cannot resist
Every time he struggles to return to the light
They are there once more to bring back the night

He looks for motivation, to the man's gleaming face
"Will I ever escape my demons and leave this place?"
But the routine of failure has been set in stone
The perfection he seeks will never be his own.

The man looks on with pure disgust
At the stumbling fool, fallen in the dust.
Once more he will try to rise and tread,
But too little, too late! He is already dead.

Loved ones now gather to mourn his demise
Blind to his fall, they remember his rise
His image seeps into young hearts, he's forever sighing
At those who try to reach him, the new man shining

Voting for: Story A Honestly, both these stories are really good. Regardless of who wins, I think the loser should feel no shame. I chose to vote for story A because when it comes to shorter stories, relying on familiar historical concepts allows the reader to fill in details relating to the setting. Story B seemed to be more fantastical but that also means that it would probably have benefitted from having more time to explain the setting. If I had to write a story with limited word count, I think I would probably always try to write a more grounded realistic story. In any case, both were fantastic reads. Both of you get applause from me :]

Hmm, I see. Well for what it's worth, I promise to keep my writing within the contest time for contest storygames going forward.

Ahh, I see. Noted. Sorry, I'm new to writing storygames, let alone participating in contests. Hopefully, I will be able to get my second story done in time. If not, I will publish it after the contest ends anyway. I honestly don't mind being disqualified if I'm unable to publish my second story, though I do dread dropping into the shame pit :(

Yes, it did require the walkthrough if I remember correctly. I probably wouldn't have guessed to use morse code otherwise. The dead end is definitely a good idea, I understand now the idea you were trying to convey. That being said, you could add some sort of text when you return to the same page, maybe expressing frustration that no one is understanding your signals. Any sort of feedback that acknowledges the player's previous actions will help drive home this effect better. I think in the first SOS sending puzzle you had altered the text to show how many times you had tried a short scream. Something like that at the dead end would help with the effect, I think. I don't think I managed to get to any "Work in progress" pages. Yes, I did reach the "Terminated" ending... though I don't remember having any opportunity to develop commands outside of the "Execute Analyze" page. From what you are saying, I'm guessing I should've had enough spare time before the project's cancellation to develop those commands from analysis? As for the initial fork, I'd provide an option to run a simulation after an upgrade to determine which component to upgrade next. This can be at the cost of time so that players can't just simulate after every upgrade. I don't really remember seeing "Weeks Left" after the fork. I did have READ/WRITE and NOOP options. I had used the NOOP to get to the "Execute Analyze" page, I think. Again, I will stress that whether people play multiple times depends on whether they WANT to play multiple times. I didn't necessarily feel like I was learning anything new with the iterations of play past the fork which is why I stopped playing when I did. Maybe an option to reflect on your failings can be a good way to motivate players to restart. That could be a third option outside of terminate and sleep when you end up in the digital cemetery. You could use that to drop hints to what players could do differently.

I thought the original summary felt AI-generated because it didn't really talk much about the motivations of the protagonist. This one certainly seems better in my opinion as it talks about how the protagonist has dedicated their life to the goal of natural machine intelligence, and the fear that their sacrifices will be for naught if the project is cancelled. It's better at motivating me to try and help this soul achieve their goals. Well, that's my subjective opinion anyway. At the end of the day, different people like different things. As long as you are happy with what you write, I'm sure there will be others who will like it too :)