For End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest.

"Welcome to the experiment. A man is dead, and you have to find his killer. There will be a list of rules in your room once this briefing is over, but all you really need to know is this: There are five of you, but only one can solve the mystery. You will be given five days. Each night, one of you will die - no more, no less.

Ready? Even if you're not, it doesn't matter. You're in my world now."
 

This is also a War on Intfiction contribution.

Note: Aside from a few references to Dreamtruder characters/ events, this storygame is a standalone.

It is my first time writing a mystery storygame on this site, so I would appreciate if you could leave feedback on whether this mystery was too easy/ difficult to solve. If you find yourself stuck, don't hesitate to message me directly. That being said, do not feel discouraged if you are bewildered at first; as you progress further in the game, the clues and secrets would make everything clearer. Eventually, the secrets you find would allow you to make sense of most clues except a few, and these would point to the killer.

Make use of the notebook, which would keep track of the information you gained from the interviews and the secrets you may find out. Also, check the item descriptions of all the objects since some of these would have to be 'used' in order to access some clues.

Once you've solved the mystery, there are 3 possible endings you could get. Only one of these actually results in returning back to the 'real world'. If you're looking for this 'true ending', it requires you to play through the last of the five days rather than just skipping to the end and guessing the answer.

Good luck surviving the Halloween experiment!

Beneath the seas, hidden from the Ones Above, our society goes about our normal, routinely lives. I cannot help but feel bored with all that is going on, until I find the letter. A letter that sends me on a journey to deliver a magical item to the group of people that have been villainized over the years, the letter that challenges everything I thought I knew. But which side is on the side of good? How can I break out of the only world I have ever known? Should I join the heroic villains or the villainous hero? I have finally gotten the adventure I always needed, but not exactly the one I wanted.

(Edit - note from the author: I'll be going through the process of fixing any bugs/ problems in this storygame soon, like the inescapable loops, so apologies for those who encounter these or any other issues caused by the upcoming changes).

Note: This game was created for Camelon's break contest. During the part where a specialist is assigned to the breakers, there are three different paths (Lawbreaker, Breaker of People and Breaker and Enterer). Due to time constraints, for those who would like to know, Breaker of People is the longest path, followed by Lawbreaker and Breaker and Enterer, but aside from the epilogues, it all leads to the same chapter 5. As before, feel free to comment or message me if you encounter any issues or problems that I should fix.

"The delicate balance between the dream world and the real world is disrupted. You intruded and messed up the dream of an innocent. By talking about this with an Unknowing, the possibility of the dreamstage being unveiled is now greater than ever. The Jury has made a decision - we have no choice but to send you to The Jungle..."

Life was hard, balancing work and relaxation. Then the nightmares came, and all I ever wanted was to be free of them. Yet, I never accounted for this - finding out the truth about the dream world, exploring the vast plane of the imagination...only to be whisked away to the longest nightmare ever. 

Think a jungle's bad? Try a fictional jungle, where literally anything can happen, and the most creative minds have conspired to give you a hard time.

Note: This game was created for Mizal's 'Welcome to the Jungle' contest. There are several epilogues, and while the main one is the normal Dreamtruder path, others include Dream director, Dreamcaster, Dreamediator, and Dreamhero. Fancy a challenge? Try completing the Jungle challenge without picking up any dreampowers - it's possible, but requires a bit of thinking and planning ahead. Also, for some items, click the 'use' button as a link would not be provided (if this is the case, it would be specified in the object description)

Since this would be my first published storygame, I am still relatively new to this. Feel free to message me or spam the comments if you encounter any issues, have any suggestions for improvement, or just have something you want to say.

Enjoy!

A quest doomed from the start. A man with an unwavering yet unusual moral compass. A daughter in the darkest depths of the night sky.

It isn't truly over until all hope is lost.

'Good and evil, heroes and villains… they are all fantasies created by the world. There are only two types of people: the people you care about, and the people you don’t.'

Arnold Cyzila's best life may have been long since over, but he would do anything to save his daughter from the clutches of her confinement. Even stealing an airplane, killing the innocent, and entering a dangerous world where death is almost guaranteed. 

[Warning: There are some mentions of murder, deaths and several dark themes, so if those things make you uncomfortable, perhaps it is better not to read this story.]

Note: I initially did not plan on joining this contest, yet I'm glad I did since it has motivated me to publish a new storygame. It is related to Dreamtruder in a way… well, you’ll see. While this story may not be as long as my previous two, it was interesting to write a shorter project. 

Just like all my other storygames, commenting and rating this story are both highly welcomed and appreciated. Also, as I have used quite a lot of variables in several fight scenes, let me know if you ever encounter a page where there are no visible links. 

Lastly, there are a few different epilogues but the 'main' one would be an epilogue which mirrors the start of the story (you'll know it when you see it). There are three possible ways to reach that. Even though I may consider it to be the true ending, it is not a typical happy ending.

For EndMaster's Prompt Contest

Prompt: A story involving an old Oriental style setting
 

A simple quest for revenge turns into a deadly competition.

The Shi Empires, governed by the Ten Emperors, appear to be undefeatable. But Liu Longyi's desire to avenge Mother tranports her to four deadly battles, marked by the sudden appearance of a chaos deity.

As she battles competitors for the throne, Liu Longyi learns the truth about the mighty Shi Empires, along with the most closely guarded secret of Yue Palace. 

Author's Notes:

1. This story makes use of delayed consequences, so replaying would grant different outcomes, even if they aren't always visible at first.
2. There are some instances of violent and slightly mature content, so reader's discretion is advised.
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame!

For EndMaster's Prompt Contest 2

Prompt: A story involving fairies in some way


 

"Save your breath. We both know how this story ends."

As a spellsinger from an illustrious family, Aubrynne Spelwinter has always sought greatness. Yet, in an attempt to shatter a notorious curse, she becomes one of its casters.

In seven days, the curse will take effect. However, Aubrynne's mission leads to an unlikely alliance with the Cursed King, with whom she races against the clock to save her kingdom from conquests and faceless enemies.

Author's notes: 

1. There are 5 epilogues and it'll be obvious which the 'main' one is. 
2. This is a retelling of a classic fairytale, Sleeping Beauty, although aside from a few plot points, it features unique characters, settings, and narratives.
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame!

Link to video trailer: https://imgur.com/9T3UWTW

For End Master's Prompt Contest 4

Prompt: A story about being a collector of very rare exotic things and/or unique things

Link to a video trailer

Bly’therra of the Illusions

Genie of the Lamp • Collector of Souls • The Sly Shapeshifter 

Ever since she was shackled to her lamp, Bly'therra wants nothing more than to reclaim her freedom. This leads her to strike an ambitious bargain: in three days, she must grant three wishes to the Sultan's future heir and collect his soul.


Zasper Aldaricus

Son of the Sultan • Master of Disguise • The Traitorous Thief

As the fourth son of the Sultan, Zasper desires to prove himself worthy by winning his father's title. To do this, he has to compete against his brothers to form an unbreakable alliance with a neighboring kingdom. 


Author's Notes:

1. This storygame features two points of views. The choices you make in one point of view can—and will—affect the other story. 
2. Although this is a retelling of Aladdin, the plot, characters, and overall narratives deviate from the original tale. 
3. If you prefer to read the storygame in the same browser, you could click the title page instead of the 'play' button.

Hope you enjoy the storygame! 

If you don't like letters, extremely short stories or cliched moral lessons, don't read this. I found it when I was browsing through the old storygames I had created a long time ago. If I'm not mistaken, this was made for Mizal's Tiny 'Topias jam although I never really thought it was good enough to add to the thread. I don't think I'll publish this, but it's completed if anyone happens to browse my profile and wants to read it.

On a dark and chilly night, you visit the Skeleton to ask for hints in order to solve the mystery of 'A Hunted and Haunted Halloween'.

If you find yourself stuck while trying to complete A Hunted and Haunted Halloween, this is the guide for you! Since it is a walkthrough, there are bound to be spoilers, so I recommend reading the storygame before referring to this.

Do let me know if you find any inconsistencies between the storygame and this walkthrough. As this would remain unpublished, I should be able to fix errors rather quickly.

That's all from me. Enjoy!

Story A

It’s an interesting choice to start with an exact date, which reminds me of historical pieces. I like the use of dialogue to deliver information, but ‘curious and confused’ as a descriptor isn’t needed since it is already implied by the question. This brings me to the first advice: show not tell. It doesn’t always apply, but it adds immersion when you let the reader come to conclusions on their own, rather than telling them outright how to feel. For example: “Adam listened attentively and showed signs of interest.” What signs of interest are these? Did he nod? Or raise an eyebrow? If you want to characterise him while making it very clear, you could use ‘Adam straightened in his seat, like he always did when something piqued his interest’. Same with the part about the cost of treatment. Instead of telling us it was a shocking price, show the character’s reaction. Slow the pacing and ground us in the moment: what happens when the price flashes on the screen? Does he shake his head in disbelief? Glance at different websites to see the same figure listed there, over and over again?

This story has lots of dialogue, which is good to keep the story moving. Yet, there is an overuse of names: we don’t need to know every character’s first and last names, or even their names at all, just those who are important to the story. Think of the reader as being someone who has a limited attention span. You want to draw their attention to only the most relevant of details, filtering out anything that they don’t need to know or doesn’t add to immersion. 

You really like specific numbers, I see. The date at the start, the exact figures of money, specific times of day. Sometimes, this can add to the story, especially if the protagonist is someone who is always thinking in numbers. But paired with the ‘telling not showing’ style, this reads a bit like a summary of a travel competition documentary. The main tip I’ve learnt is that creative writing isn’t about telling your readers what happens. No, it’s about engaging emotions. Getting readers to feel something, to connect to your characters and their struggles so they are either rooting for them to succeed or hoping they would fail (in the event of an unlikable protagonist). This is especially true for the climax. We know what is at stake, but we don’t feel the suspense of the moment as much as we could. For instance, I would have thought that Adam and Drake were competing, hence the significance of the line ‘without knowledge of each other's existence’ - this would have added more tension to the scene. Or if they were worried about their lives, show their panic rather than just their plans. 

Okay, onto some positives! I like the historical spin, it reminds me of the journals of voyagers with all the dates and the things they found while at sea. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding of the legend. In fact, the other Thunderdome thread had legends about aliens and serial killers, but neither one of them felt as vivid or memorable as the legend you’ve created here, so well done! Also, the use of dialogue to slow down pacing was good. This story had a classic happy ending, but it would have had more of an emotional impact if you showed the thoughts and reactions of the protagonists.

Story B

This story is quite different, as it uses a first person pov where the protagonist talks directly to the reader. There are brief infodumps about the world throughout the story which is somewhat jarring. At the start, the protagonist just goes from talking about monumentals to picking apples. This is especially noticeable in the scene after her grandma dies, and despite her depression, a few paragraphs later, she goes on to monologue about the Ocean Core as if nothing happened.

I’m not sure I fully understand the line: ‘in this particular Earth, there’s less of countries and tech and more of do what you feel like.’ Does this mean there are fewer countries? Or that the countries exist but don’t play much of a role in decision making? Who knows, maybe I’m confused because I don’t have enough ‘do what you feel like’ in my life.  And there are slight plot holes in this story, like how monumentals are dangerous, yet the protagonist and community lives on top of one. The reason for this is never explained. Well, I guess that is why she later falls into the ocean. 

Worldbuilding is definitely inventive and creative. I love the idea of monumentals roaming about the world. It’s also very normalized, as the protagonist says things like ‘original, I know’ (which implies that there are some more common monumentals than others) and I see the author has also listed out the pronunciation of Alimi’s name.

While I like that the pacing does immerse the reader a bit more than the previous story, and we actually get to know the protagonist which builds more connection with the reader, there are still a few issues. The way some events are written comes across as unintentionally hilarious rather than suspenseful. For instance, the protagonist just…falls out of the front door? I know I shouldn’t have chuckled, but I did. If you had wanted to make this scene more suspenseful, you could start with her feeling a sense of dread about forgetting something. Then, she sees the open door. Her eyes widen. And there’s a sickening feeling in her stomach as the ground lurches again, sending her flying into the air. She reaches out for her grandma’s hand— she cannot reach it. And she tries to grasp something, anything, that would keep her from falling, but the ground disappears beneath her feet, giving way to an endless expanse of blue. 

The first person narration actually works in this story, as Radiance is an unreliable narrator, and her fear of Alimi is conveyed well through her panicked thoughts before the turtle is revealed not to be a threat. Then, she is placed back onto her island. But now I’m confused, since I thought she lived on an island on top of the turtle. Was the island on the turtle? Or the turtle on the island? 

The grandma decapitating herself seemed to come out of nowhere. Yes, she was old, and kept pushing herself to work, but she never displayed any suicidal tendencies. I think this is something that had to be foreshadowed in advance, otherwise it just comes off as inconsistent characterization. Overall, I think this story tried to cover too much with too few words. A new antagonist, magic system and conflict was introduced at the very end of the story, none of which was foreshadowed before, and then they just destroyed the protagonist and the monumental (which was initially made out to be one of the most powerful forces in that world). Ultimately, it seems more like part of a longer piece that had to be ended abruptly due to word constraints. 

TL;DR

Both stories were rather creative, but suffered from a few polishing issues that came with inexperience. Still, writing is a skill that improves over time and you’re both doing pretty well for beginners. Hopefully you keep writing, implement feedback, and hone your craft!

As for which I prefer, I’ll vote for the second story as it took the time to immerse the reader and had lots of fun worldbuilding details. 

Voting is probably closed by now, but since the results have not been announced, I’ll post my feedback on these stories.

Story A

It has an interesting opening and clear characterization of the protagonist as an alien conspiracy theorist. The tone is rather informal, as if the narrator is speaking directly to the reader, which is a good way to deliver information in an engaging format. There are a few minor grammatical errors (e.g. didt, there has to be a comma after Janelle, etc) but nothing too major.

Normally I'd critique the overuse of adverbs, especially 'actually' but it does match the narrative tone of someone telling a story verbally as people tend to have their own crutch words. The same goes for words like 'even' and 'also'. But does this narrative voice work? On one hand, this technique allows a lot of information to be delivered in a few words.  On the other hand, it speeds through one event after the next without taking the time to immerse the reader in any scene specifically or create any emotional attachments. This meant the first seven paragraphs could potentially be condensed since it seemed a bit like filler information that did not contribute to the protagonist's development nor provide information that would be vital later on in the climax (i.e. foreshadowing). 

Lots of good worldbuilding details are sprinkled in. Either the author thought a lot about how UFO meetings go or they've secretly attended one. Descriptions are all filtered through first person pov and matches what we know of the protagonist as an alien conspiracy theorist; he selectively observes details about who is and isn't one. There’s a missing word after 'renting the .' Well, that's one way to reduce word count.

I like the different reactions to the spacecraft. They are all believers, but some accept it more easily, while others are understandably filled with uncertainty and doubt. This makes sense, as some people just believe in aliens on a balance of probabilities while others are utterly convinced they're already on earth. The main conflict is running from the aliens when they arrive. Good use of fast paced narration here to build suspense. I would have liked perhaps more details on what it was like being captured - did the protagonist resist, and what emotions went through his mind? The ending was good and I like the twist: these used to be die hard alien fans no longer like the aliens now they are captured. Maybe I would have liked to see this theme explored more in the earlier sections: for instance, how much effort the protagonist/ other characters have devoted into sending messages to space or welcoming the aliens, so this would make the 'betrayal' more hardhitting

Story B

It also had a strong opening and started as the opposite of the other one: it takes a lot of time to ground the reader in the scene through descriptive language and character thoughts. Each action comes with reflection - swiping his sleeve reminds him of the soldiers, limping across the snow brings to mind a trail akin to dragging a dead deer through the woods. This builds more connection with the protagonist. In the earlier story, readers observed the protagonist like one watches an amusing character on screen, out of a curiosity to see what would happen. Part of it has to do with the tones of both stories–this one is more serious, while the other more lighthearted and comical.

Surprise vs suspense: there is a perfect example of this here. The first story uses surprise, and the second suspense. Surprise was when, at the end, it is revealed that the story was narrated from an alien holding cell; it juxtaposes the protagonist’s view of aliens at the start and at the end. But my creative writing teacher always preferred suspense, saying it has more of an impact. Rather than a short sudden 'oh that's surprising', suspense drags out the tension, and the question—why is the protagonist covered in blood?—remains unanswered, lingering for a while.

There is a slight overreliance on 'as' clauses in the second story, and when introducing Elise, using 'His girlfriend' instead of 'Max's girlfriend ' may flow a bit better'. I like how both these stories create a sense of normalcy before the event that changes everything. Here, I like how it focuses on one moment instead of many, so it can create more depth through details. The mention of the serial killer was good foreshadowing. I have to agree that this plotline is slightly cliche, but execution usually triumphs concept.

I also like the mention that the cabin was between civilization and the wild woods, a symbol for the protagonist as he struggles to keep true to his humanity but the wildness of what happens to Elise drives him to murder the serial killer. But my main gripe is that this story does not really follow the prompt. It mentioned Christmas, but it seemed to be a one off reference rather than something that played a large part in the story. For all I know, it could have taken place at any time in the year as long as it was in a snowy region. Maybe if the protagonist had more memories about the first snow of Christmas, or at the end mused about dying on his favourite holiday of the year, it could be a more integral part of the story.

Location: The Lounge
Time: 8 PM (Evening)

A feast has been prepared in the middle of the dining table. As you take your seat, others begin to arrive, filling up the room.

“Welcome, guests!” A voice booms from a loudspeaker above. “Today, you will take part in an experiment that will test your skills of deduction, persuasion, and strategy.”

Leaning back in your seat, you take the opportunity to examine your surroundings. A battling cage sits in the far corner with two sets of steel swords and armor. By the south-east door, a warhammer leans against the wall, stained with dried blood, marked with the word ‘BAN’.  Yet, most frightening of all are the noises—from the window of a fogged-up room, where a solitary light bulb flickers, you hear terrible screeches of cries and moaning. 

“The voices of the SHAMED,” someone behind you explains. But when you turn to see who it was, the person has mysteriously disappeared. 

Before you can say anything, the voice from the speaker continues on. “We have assigned three mods to overlook this experiment. They will assess your performance and report back to us. They are—”

A gunshot.

The voice on the other end goes silent. 

Frantic whispers fill the room; panicked glances are exchanged. You scrutinize the other CYStians, but when you search their faces for any sign of familiarity, you realize you’re unable to tell friend from foe. 

The lights turn red. From the speaker, a new voice speaks. “We are the trolls. Leave the CYS forums now, or face the attacks of three of our strongest members!”

Curiously, it sounds like a kid attempting to pitch his voice deeper, but you know the threat is real. There are three trolls among you. And who knows what they would do if—

Another gunshot.

This time, you hear laughter on the other side, and the original voice speaks again. “Remember, kids, you can’t outsmart a mod! The troll has been banned, and I would come over to finish up the others, but I have other things to do, being a busy mod and all. So until then, I’ll leave it to you to discover the three remaining trolls! Good luck.”

Well, this dinner is about to get awkward.

Evening 1: Introductions

@Anthraxus
@enterpride
@Yummyfood
@spicyXnoodle
@MadHattersDaughter
@MiltonManThing
@UnscapeableDeath
@Blister1
@Gryphon
@Clayfinger
@Shadowdrake27

Come and introduce yourself as a reply to this post! You have about 48 hours to do so before everyone chooses their rooms and performs any actions they can in the night. Feel free to pull someone aside for a private conversation, start an argument, or rant about how much you like Ogre; basically, do anything that normally happens in the lounge.

This is the official game thread for CYS Mafia! Feel free to get in character, scrutinise your fellow players’ every move and do what it takes to WIN the game. 
 

Location: The Lounge
Time: 8 PM (Evening)

A feast has been prepared in the middle of the dining table. As you take your seat, others begin to arrive, filling up the room.

“Welcome, guests!” A voice booms from a loudspeaker above. “Today, you will take part in an experiment that will test your skills of deduction, persuasion, and strategy.”

Leaning back in your seat, you take the opportunity to examine your surroundings. A battling cage sits in the far corner with two sets of steel swords and armor. By the south-east door, a warhammer leans against the wall, stained with dried blood, marked with the word ‘BAN’.  Yet, most frightening of all are the noises—from the window of a fogged-up room, where a solitary light bulb flickers, you hear terrible screeches of cries and moaning. 

“The voices of the SHAMED,” someone behind you explains. But when you turn to see who it was, the person has mysteriously disappeared. 

Before you can say anything, the voice from the speaker continues on. “We have assigned three mods to overlook this experiment. They will assess your performance and report back to us. They are—”

A gunshot.

The voice on the other end goes silent. 

Frantic whispers fill the room; panicked glances are exchanged. You scrutinize the other CYStians, but when you search their faces for any sign of familiarity, you realize you’re unable to tell friend from foe. 

The lights turn red. From the speaker, a new voice speaks. “We are the trolls. Leave the CYS forums now, or face the attacks of three of our strongest members!”

Curiously, it sounds like a kid attempting to pitch his voice deeper, but you know the threat is real. There are three trolls among you. And who knows what they would do if—

Another gunshot.

This time, you hear laughter on the other side, and the original voice speaks again. “Remember, kids, you can’t outsmart a mod! The troll has been banned, and I would come over to finish up the others, but I have other things to do, being a busy mod and all. So until then, I’ll leave it to you to discover the three remaining trolls! Good luck.”

Well, this dinner is about to get awkward.

Evening 1: Introductions

@CavusRex
@Cat2002116
@Will11
@Liminal
@MrAce321
@Celicni
@goodnight_a
@hetero_malk
@fresh_out_the_oven
@Suranna
@benholman44

Come and introduce yourself as a reply to this post! You have about 48 hours to do so before everyone chooses their rooms and performs any actions they can in the night. Feel free to pull someone aside for a private conversation, start an argument, or rant about how much you like Ogre; basically, do anything that normally happens in the lounge.

This is the official game thread for CYS Mafia! Feel free to get in character, scrutinise your fellow players’ every move and do what it takes to WIN the game. 
 

If you need to refresh your memory on the rules, they can be found here.

Due to the high number of sign-ups, I have enlisted RK to help run a second game: link.

Thanks for the offer, but RK has already asked to run the second game, so he'll be handling that. Maybe if there is enough interest for a third game/ if you want to run this in the future, we could arrange that :)

I also vote 4. The friendly, minor faction seems to pose the least threat, especially after an intensive quest.

Well, I definitely didn't expect so many sign ups in the last few hours! Some of you may have to be a bit clearer about whether you intend to join or have just commented on the thread. Depending on my commitments next week, and provided there is enough interest, I'm considering the possibility of running two games.

I'll start by inviting everyone to publicly post which room they will be in. If it becomes a problem, ie. people changing their room because someone else enters, then I'll implement private messages for this. As for the second question, the chaotic mod chooses which room they want to eliminate. This can be used if they strongly suspect a room is full of trolls and/or indispensable members.