If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

I'm reminded of an obscure czech shitpost doom mod where the protagonist spends the first level entertaining himself by sitting in his apartment smashing himself in the sack with a claw hammer. You keep the hammer for the whole rest of the game, it goes in your chainsaw slot. It has absolutely no benefit, it just deals like 5-10 damage to you. Your character smashes his balls with a hammer because his motivations are pure. So too must the heart of the Cystian be when they quest for glory.

This is against the rules of CYS account gambling.

When you petition the mods to keep track of your bet, you don't get to ask them for an unusual reward. (Unless, of course, it's at the expense of a rival who has also entered the bet, because funny) You pretty much only get to request an unusual punishment. Baldfaced self-harm for the amusement of the masses is the heart of this tradition. Either you can find motivation in this alone, or you'll have to look elsewhere.

Having a giant beetle ranch sounds very cool. But also, seeing as we seem to just be attracting animals of all kinds, who's to say it'll actually remain a beetle ranch just because that's what we started with? I think maybe we should give them the donkeys just because they're versatile pack animals, and see how the ranch evolves from there, but what do I know? I vote for both, with a slight beetle preference.

Just going by what usually kills me in Rimworld, which is laying all the plans out for big upgrades and construction projects that improve quality of life but then falling into a destructive spiral where nobody is working on anything that keeps us alive because all the good laborers are spending all day either researching, raiding, working on a really expensive weapon or work of art, or some other Sentoid fixation project, I'll cast my vote for A. The early warning signs of neglect are all around us even as we build out the second floor of the building! End doesn't have a room, and we're out here feeding whole badgers to sick people with the bones still in and the skin still on. The very least we could do is squeeze some garlic juice on them to make some goddamn CIVILIZED MEALS.

we need to build a DISTILLERY to make choke-tasting weeb oil out of suranna's swampy turdwheat? I'd rather die!

I propose we name the Quagga "Bundleton" and each of us kisses his forehead and pets his mane as a morning ritual. Not only in an expression of our undying adoration for Bundleton, but also as karmic recompense for when the Australians or whoever boiled them all in cauldrons in 1895, prompting a 3000-year-long extinction.

Aside from that I'm voting B. One of us has to go out there, and there ain't no way you're sending ME out there if you want FOOD.

On an unrelated note, it is very unfortunate that Cavus said the lack of alcohol wouldn't bother him because he's not here, only for him to show up here immediately after we elected to plant unfermentable vegetables here instead.

Do you plan on growing the rice? That's literally back-breaking work! I would rather be kneedropped by Hulk Hogan than waste a perfectly good growing season bent over a pond of wretched swampwater until my torso's ready to slide off my pelvis! Not even the most fried-to-perfection mexican restaurant rice is worth the trouble of growing it by hand!

You seem interested in Option A-- Might I convince you to join the coalition for a garlic-filled future?

This coloring page bears an artwork of Sentinel 'Sent' Penguin grasping a rabid gazelle with ill intent. Sherbet carefully aims his gun at the gazelle, but he is off his mark. The work is executed in an amateurish style and appears to symbolize violence. This illustration refers to the slaying of the rabies-infested gazelle on the XXth of Septobuary, 55XX

Garlic. I suspect I am the only one among this group who could eat a porridge of mashed garlic-- All garlic and only garlic-- By the bowlfull. Just clove after clove of garlic. I'll eat it out of the bowl, I'll eat it with the skin still on, I'll eat it right out of the field. And I suspect I'll always have seconds, because Sherbet and Suranna aren't garlic-powered entities. I would also be fine eating carrots, onions, radish, or ginger, but if we grow pineapple I WILL kill myself.

Here is my further reasoning for garlic: That shit is fucking expensive. If we grow enough garlic to eat as a staple crop, the logic follows that we will become unfathomably wealthy without even needing to get into the drug business!

As far as vote 2, I also vote for A or D, but a fridge seems like the real first step. (everything in it might smell like garlic though)

And people would be entitled to steal from us? Pssh, no way.