ISentinelPenguinI, The Grandmaster Goblinologist

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6/14/2024 4:37 AM

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175 wins / 174 losses




































One day I had a test, and the teacher farted, and then this kid bent over to pick up his pencil, and everyone was scared because they thought they heard a gunshot and there was a school shooting, but actually it was a deafeningly loud flatulence emitted from the kid who picked up his pencil, with such tremendous force and pressure that his pants had ripped open and were smoking. And everyone was laughing, but the kid was pissed.

He got up on his chair and screamed something like, "OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY DO YOU!?"

He grabbed one of the girls, and there were many gasps, "I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU ASSHOLES FUNNY!"

He shoved the girl out of the way, and took a massive shit on her desk. The class laughed, and even applauded. For the first 2 minutes, at least, but the kid would not stop shitting. Eventually it overloaded the desk and started to drop onto the floor.  At 5 minutes, the giggles gave way to horrified screams. Worms and blood started to appear within the shit, and the oils of his eyes were diluting with lymph and starting to drip down his face.

10 minutes, and he was shitting this constant stream of worms like a faucet, they were pooling out underneath him and writhing over each other, burrowing into whatever they could find. The floor was too hard for them, but they found the girl's shoes. You could hear them chewing on everything they could find. They made little clicking noises wherever they bit on something, it was like dumping one bag of marbles into another... But then they found the girl's flesh underneath her shoes and socks, and boy howdy...

The worm hoard sort of swarmed her and started burrowing into whatever bits and bobs they could find. As they chewed, it sounded like those aforementioned marbles were being poured into a bowl of semi-hard jello. A thousand little splats in an orgy of blood and gluttony.


He just kept shitting worms and screaming about our glorious holy lord and savior Caerbog. Just sitting there. The worms turned to eyeballs all melted and grafted together, and the molten skin of his rectum slowly started dribbling down between his legs, but he just kept going. His real eyes were totally gone by this point, and actually his bare testicles were dangling out of one eyehole by their epidydimus, but what was even funnier was that a little horse fetus (Couldn't be more than two months) was desperately trying to escape from his head, but he was too big to fit through the eyeholes, so he just kept squealing and stamping impotently at the walls of his flesh prison.

Eventually, the eyes and the worms and the shit were creating this massive pool of shit that was ankle-deep over the floor of the room, and the girl being eaten by the worms was now a skeleton full of boreholes and tiny bitemarks. The class started really laughing their asses off as her jaw fell off, and one kid even fell out of his chair laughing and was devoured by worms, eyes-first.

The kid just kept on shitting. His legs had been worn down by worms into just nubs of flesh, so no one was surpised when the entire lower part of his torso burst open and started spraying eyeballs and bloody shit everywhere.

"CAERBOG PROVIDES! CAERBOG EXTRICATES! CAERBOG EXTRICAAAATES!" he screamed. More kids laughed themselves into the waist-deep pile of worms.

The teacher just stood on his desk with a look of utter disappointment on his face.

"Caerbog does not exist, you zealous religious faggot." Said the teacher, driving a knife into his belly as the holy purgative fires of Caerbog began biting into the flesh of his taint.

Long story short, the kid got a detention, and our sides fucking exploded that day. Even the fucked up skeleton whose desk he shat on was laughing. You can still hear her laughing if you put your ear to her grave. It's just underneath the floorboards of the basketball court.

It was so hilarious though. You had to be there for the full effect. He was just squatting over her desk with the same strained look on his face the whole time. I mean, while he could still squat and move his face, I guess.


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If you came to this page in hopes of learning more about me, you're boning up the wrong tree.

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Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points Your presence alone contributes to the community. You've brightened many a days with your wit and humor, and knowledge of the inane. That last part is meant to be complimentary. Here you go, Sent Posting 9993 Forum Posts Rated 65.2% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 03/27/2020 - OG Given by madglee on 02/15/2022 - For recognizing ancient lore Given by MadHattersDaughter on 12/30/2023 - To my best frenemy! (Also if you have MHD's trophy you LOVE Strawberry Pudding!)


Randomly Walk II, The epic sequel.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL:

A Quiz I made for the Blatant Hell of it All. *CLOSED FOR REPAIRS*

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.


Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.


In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

Articles Written

A Tutorial for Teachers
Exasperated but optimistic advice for those who would like to assign storygames as school projects or for any other school purposes.

Recent Posts

WWE Tier List on 4/28/2024 7:12:07 PM

Cody pictured here demonstrating how he obtained his pussy

WWE Tier List on 4/27/2024 9:43:53 AM


Nifty Thing I Discovered for Anime Fans on 3/28/2024 9:48:37 PM

what a horrible virus, I downloaded it and it played chinese cartoons about schoolgirls! Mods, please delete the link, this is going to give someone brain and/or computer damage.

NFTs and AI Art on 3/7/2024 12:27:23 AM

I think the thing about AI is that it's wildly expensive but the costs are so distributed as to be more or less completely hidden to those currently profiting off of it. Most of what we mistake for human-like intuition and ability is just mechanical guessing based on pennies-a-day labor from third worlders and elderly people who basically solve capchas for a living, and most of the art it generates is based on shit that already exists and is stolen-- And is so diluted at this point that in a lot of engines you have to specify that you want photographs, specific artists, or add "artstation" to the booleans if you want it to look good.

Will it put people out of work? Absolutely, but I don't think that's because of supply and demand at all. AI is capable of appealing to executives in a way that artists simply don't. AI works 24-hours a day and produces on demand, it has no will of its own to create its own things, and will do whatever it is commissioned to do, often for a price that's borderline free to the end user even if it relies on the refined end products of so many different industries (including the ones it's trying to replace) in order to exist. Will it create art that we want? No. But it does what the people in charge want it to do very well. People get so mad at marvel movies and shit for not being any good, but the things they complain about are practically AI prompts by any other name with human work put into them. Stories that have already been written, in the style of an established artist, written by tested and pre-approved committees, with characters that are already known. At that point? You could make any movie you want and the only reason to hire people would be to get celebrity names that draw people in, which is increasingly dying in the business anyhow.

Will it be bad? Also absolutely, but so will everything about the tech industry. I think of it less as a thing that's going to destroy artists and art itself- That's a human need and something people will always be making- And more the sign of the death throes of art as an industry. We live in an age increasingly disaffected by "big name" artists. It's practically a recreational activity to hate big shows and movies and shit that comes out now. People get mad about shit like the Marvel movies pandering to China, but like, we're also so collectively sick of Marvel that they're probably a lot more excited about Marvel in China than we are in this country, discounting the population of gormless redditors. Taylor Swift is like the only music name that people like like, everyone else most people know has either been famous for more than 20 years now or they've been isolated enough within their own fanbase that they still seem like microcelebrities to everyone else. I don't know who the hell Dojacat is and I don't know what her music sounds like. I still don't know how famous she is, only that she's been mentioned on TV which is also a medium in decline in and of itself.

Does that mean art itself is dying? I don't think that either. But I do think it's less of, like, a job with a salary now. It's not going to be like Hollywood where you can go to get hired as an artist and work as one in a system of production. It's far more likely that people are going to be using their resources to fund artists that they are personally fans of, and form communities based on shared culture, which has evolved pretty naturally from the internet. Does AI have a place in that? Kind of, but I really don't think they compete with people who have the chutzpah to build up that kind of community themselves, whatever they're doing, whether they're using AI or not.

Personally I find it sad that the advent of AI might mean that there's no longer really a predictable map to success for many artists, but tbh, that map has always contained so many abhorrent compromises and exploitative conditions anyway that I can't say part of me isn't also glad to see it go as long as alternative paths to success can be found. Down with Hollywood, down with the old media empires. I long for the age where technology reaches such a point that putting on your own TV show is not a pipedream achievable by a lucky few, but thought of as something like radio where it is absolutely doable for dedicated people on a local hobbyist scale and capable of growing to wider audiences. Streaming is the new Cable and will suffer the same business cycles, AI will do human jobs with mediocre success and create terabytes of bland filler content few people will watch as most people are just gonna go down their own rabbitholes based on their tastes and preferences. Spongebob is gonna be one of the last shows everyone in the world has seen, no human is ever gonna be famous as Michael Jackson, and frankly, I think that's all for the best.

IFDB Outpost on 2/29/2024 2:56:42 PM

I am still unbanned on that site, I will not reveal myself out of spite. All I did was review shit that I cared to read, just like End but without 1/10th of the dedication. I left when he was banned. Hanon was so scared that his years of careful spergwork to live at the tippy top of the site's shitty leaderboard were about to be outdone by a dude with regular-person levels of charisma who had actually contributed something of substance to the hobby, so he saw his opportunity to jump on the bandwagon as soon as one of us rubbed one of their goons the wrong way and ran one long and slanderous smear campaign that was just successful enough to get us all banned as an unspoken blanket policy.

It's one thing to add thousands of imaginary rapes to Eternal because your Mormonous Eunuch Brain physically rejects any scene with sexual themes as vague as flirtation and you just scroll past every dialogue assuming that the worst is happening in every case, it's another thing to slanderously announce to the world that we used to have an entire school shooting genre based on a willful misinterpretation of a thread you did not even read, but of all these things, of ALL the slander Hanon has levelled against us, the casual comparison to is the most vile one that I'll not stand for.

NFTs and AI Art on 2/3/2024 7:09:52 PM

Depending on the conference, the real eye strain was probably because they bought the same kind of UV Lamps used to mass-disinfect surfaces during COVID rather than actual normal blacklights meant to be absorbed by human eyeballs during a rave or something- No performance art here, just banal finance-bro cost-cutting.

Endmaster's prompt contest writing thread. on 2/3/2024 6:58:38 PM

I love the little scottie dog critter

Secret Hitler - Game thread on 1/21/2024 10:02:09 AM

The Burgrave enters the reichstag the next morning, completely fuming, "Traitors and pranksters, the lot of you! How much time have you all spent drafting legislation, and yet all you bastards could think to give me were fascist!? My heart weeps for Germany and the future of its veterans!"

Secret Hitler - election cycle 11 on 1/19/2024 7:21:41 PM

Now, I know this looks like an increasingly insular circle of people in power, but I'm pretty sure that Frau Else isn't Hitler, and as somebody who knows themselves that they are neither Hitler nor Fascist, it seems to me that her endorsement of this German Triumverate is wholly liberal in its goals! For this reason, I select Elsa for my Chancellor.

Secret Hitler - election cycle 8 on 1/16/2024 2:05:33 AM

I will vote for myself! I trust no one else with the position. Not at this stage in the game!