If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

Played a lot/Habitually:
Mario Bros, Zelda, The Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Doom, Total War, The broad concept of Warhammer

Used to play a lot, not really anymore (in most cases I don't own the disk/console anymore):

Pokémon, Max Payne, Half Life, Gran Autismo, Need for Speed, GTA, Rayman, Crash Bandicoot, The Sims, Spyro the Dragon, Hitman, Silent Hill, Banjo-Kazooie, Worms, Monster Hunter, Fable, Saints Row, Dark Souls, Team Fortress, Pikmin

Never owned but would play at other people's places/computers:

Jak & Daxter, Rachet and Clank, Donkey Kong, Dead Space, Tony Hawk pro, Red Dead, Kingdom Hearts, Prince of Persia, Harvest Moon, Bioshock, Starfox, TLOU, Fire Emblem, Uncharted, Devil May Cry, Portal, Tomb Raider, Megaman, Mortal Kombat, Gears of War, Halo, Borderlands, Castlevania, Soul Calibur, Yakuza, Dishonored, Bomberman, Deus Ex, Nier, Contra, Metroid, Diablo, Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed, Metal Gear, God of War, Dragon Quest

Played a little bit but not much:

Mass Effect, Far Cry, Sonic, The Witcher, Dragon Age, Animal Crossing, Punch-Out, Shenmue, Parasite Eve, Tetris, Age of Empires

Played for like maybe a combined total of one hour or two in a freak incidence:

Tekken, Watch_Dogs, Street Fighter, Medal of Honor, Ninja Gaiden, SMT, Warcraft, Counterstrike

Never played:

Bayonetta, SaGa, Phantasy Star, Wild Arms, Drakengard, Breath of Fire, Guilty Gear, Command and Conquer, Shadow Hearts, "Tales Of", "Of Mana".

Will never play:

StarCraft, Dead or Alive, Persona

That's a score of like 85, meaning I will be sent to the RFK Autism Camps.

You have a very strange understanding of things like BDSM, profanity, and other things you deem narcotic, that does not map at all to the way most people who actually partake in the practice for diverse and changing reasons do it. Rather than projecting your own feelings outward in an attempt to diagnose the problems you have with others as if we are all you, I would suggest interrogating yourself as to why you feel this specific way about the things and people you're talking about. I would also suggest seeking professional help. You couldn't possibly think that hanging around a community this long after officially "leaving" and then only interacting with them again by posting things like this is normal, healthy, or productive, could you? If indeed you went to the doctor before, go there again. Tell them the whole truth.

Look, everyone's got their made-up shit that's necessary for their own happiness. If you're going to pretend that Balkanoids count as whites even in this very thread, I think it's equally valid this guy can be gender neutral.

That literally is not what you said. This was the first post of yours that I've actually read in... Almost a year? Aside from my dim, though foul, memories of you as a kid there was no real impression to go on before I read the offending post.  And in this post you immediately present a link to ChatGPT, and after that, you make statements that in this post are apparently "obviously" not the case as if they're your real opinions. You stated that AI had a greater chance of improving than he did. On the great wall of shit that you've been called over the years, must we add backpedaling, conniving, quisling to the numberless mass? I don't know what kind of ridiculous attempt to save face this is, you're stumbling over your very words and repeating yourself but then trying to agree with me and redirect your anger at TIG again.

If I am to take you at your word here, you said something that you yourself did not believe, and suggested a course of action you thought he shouldn't take. For what reason? Some kind of moral test? Is this the MrAce Kung Fu Master arc? You've written like two stories that weren't the Manliest Man and now you're ready to start teaching newbies how to write by fucking with them? Prior to like the pandemic or whenever those came out, your ass was in the same position. In fact I don't even remember those games and didn't know they existed during the time of writing that post, so from my perspective you were still in the same boat. And yet you still had the gall! It's really not much better in this light, I'm sorry to say. It seems to me like clear evidence of projection and redirection when you were called out. You really tasted power for a second when everyone was making fun of this guy's ego instead of your own, and looked for the worst insult you could level at him because the sport of banter is just that foreign to you. Shameful display. Go back to clown school.

Like I've said, it's certainly both. I laugh at your work, but this brings me joy. All fiction is kind of a silly thing in the grand scheme, and you can take advice from all sources, but in the end, the objective truth of the matter is that even if I think it's silly, your work has stirred an equal amount of emotion in me by virtue of its silliness than if it had actually been written "well". And I think that gets right to the heart of the matter. What does being a "good" writer offer if it is without the deranged genuinity behind being a goofy ass? Better consistency? McDonald's is consistent, but I don't relish it. I don't remember individual McDonald's burgers I've had. But I do remember burgers at impromptu cookouts that were burnt around the edges, had smashed buns from having been rushed to the park in a cramped cooler next to all the water bottles, piled high with onions and slightly too much ketchup because the goal of the condiments was to cool the meat down faster rather than for its own intentional flavor. And I remember them, distinctly, as an experience more exquisite than even more proper sandwiches. That is the difference.

The others are right. I am laughing at your work, but I am also praising it. It is my opinion that a ridiculous and stupid thing made earnestly has 10,000 times the artistic value of a boring thing made correctly and competently. To say that AI is better at writing than that is a blasphemy against the human soul, from someone who either does not have such a thing, or does have one but is incapable of seeing its value, and I'm not sure which is a worse morbidity to have.

How dare you? How actually dare you? This is genuinely the most vile post I have ever read on this site, it fills me with a scintillating disgust that freezes my very guts. In your time on this internet you have posted things that have elicited rage and horror in most of the site. You have posted a picture of your breakfast which brought me actually to the verge of vomiting. But this, this is the most viscerally disgusting and genuinely evil thing you've ever posted. You hideous, simpering slime, you obese, walking blob of tripe. I was not like the other CYS members-- I found your maudlin antics funny enough in how cartoonishly pathetic they were that I could never quite fully despise you as the other Cystians did. But in your desperate cloying for an acceptable target, for someone to be lower on the ladder than you, you have revealed yourself to be something worse than a foul-smelling piece of shit. With no one to keep you in check, you have shown the same aptitude and regard for art as a Tolkien orc. Genuinely fuck you. Get the fuck out of here and go suckle from your IV of peanutbutter you fascist swinebeast. Go back to the pits of dirty laundry and used McDonald's cups from which you spawned wetly like an uruk.

ThatIndianGuy might improve to traditional standards some day, he might grow and change in his own organic direction, but what his words are currently is still anything but unreadable swill. His writing is fascinating and hilarious in its own right, if not traditionally good. He is brilliant precisely because no AI could be as naturally funny as he is. I am actually stunned that you find chatgpt more readable. You're the kind of motherfucker to hear Florence Foster Jenkins and be like, "This is so bad. She should model her music more after Wonderwall so that it at least meets the basic baseline quality of bad." I say no, he should not make his art anything like the literal average of every word on the internet combined, that is not good advice for anyone. Not even someone trying to learn the language. I am horrified that this is even a suggestion you made. Just because you have only ever produced meaningless slop does not mean that other people should sacrifice their miraculous strangeness on its plastic altar. Whether or not ThatIndianGuy is a real person, the fact that you thought this would be a genuine avenue of improvement for him in the first place says something very real about you. You fucking slug. I hope the part of you that would suggest something like this perishes before you do.

I couldn't do a dramatic reading, I nearly died reading just this part!

Look man, I've embraced my autism. I was trying not to make value judgements, my post was my actual thoughts. I am a creature what contains multitudes, and I'm allowed to acknowledge that I think a story can be stinky on a technical level while also bringing me more joy than displeasure. The only one laying out any tricks and riddles for you here was yourself-- It was you who so badly wanted to believe my post was disagreeing with the others that you were happy to say "Oh, so you liked the story? That's great!" while also saying I was wrong about all the things I actually said about the cornball writing. Personally I'm glad you got the mathematical angle out of it, I keep forgetting That Indian Guy is actually your chosen nom de plume here and so when I was reading this thread I was like, "well as long as we're all just calling him 'that indian guy' I might as well reference the funny Indian legend where a guy gets an impossible task", and if you had been like "that's RACIST!" instead you would have called the mods and got me banned.

Personally I'd say his odds are 100% as long as he writes his story with one word on one square of a chess board, two words on the second square, four words on the next square, eight words next, and so on until he's covered them all.