If you've ever seen Kitchen Nightmares, you've run into the same problem I have. The show is fine, whatever, but certain episodes would have been seriously elevated if Gordon Ramsay had been allowed to just take out some of those restaurant owners. I can't be alone in thinking that, right?

Last year we at CYS brought in the New Year with Wholesome Dog's Birthday Adventure. This year... this.

Disclaimer: This gets a little rancid.

Super Bonus Challenge: See if you can deduce which page of this storygame was written by Sent!

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.

"I have no life, getting assailed by a thousand black cocks at all hours of the day would require me to go outside. I was lying about being a snowbunny femboy to sound more impressive-- My only pleasure in this life is frogs. I get them delivered to my basement bathroom window via subscription service. Big, black, frogs. Live frogs. I shove them up my ass and whenever the people who moved in after my mom died open the door upstairs I bend over and shoot them out like a cannon. They scream, they weep, they cannot sleep. I hear them pacing around upstairs and getting into arguments. Their family is falling apart but I do what I can to maintain my territory. Ever since the water started leaking in down here I've been breeding bigger and blacker frogs to shove up my ass. It's so deep that the water comes over the toilet bowl, so I've just started pissing and shitting at my computer desk since it all goes to the same place. I have to sleep on a bed made of my dad's inflatable blowup wives that he left behind when he left my mom, shortly after he caught me anal-horking my first garden toad. I glued them together with what little rubber cement I have left-- Most of my rubber cement jars are completely dried out because I used to spend all day huffing their scrumptious glue fumes and jacking off before this new family moved in and started trying to get me out of their basement. The frogs grow fat on the mosquitoes and maggots that infest my turd swamp, and the ceiling has started to sag from the congealed smell withering the beams.

Every day they open the basement door I shart increasingly large frogs at them. We are engaged in a game of chicken that will end our very lives-- This war will end when the family gives up, the house gives way, or my rectum bursts from the sheer volume of writhing frogflesh what has been lodged in my hole, and not a moment sooner."
-Harper

and you've been shoving frogs up your ass THAT long!? What the fuck is wrong with you

If you didn't do it, what's something that only a guy who doesn't shove frogs up his asshole would know?

Yeah right, frogpacker.

Why would anyone trust a disgusting evil frog molester like you, you fucking freak, get out of here!

Jesus christ dude someone should call the police, that's fucked up. Poor froggies :,(

1. two kingly lemmings each ponder a pink cloud while a giant flower sits between them.

2. Two bears high-fiving. I can't see this one as anything else.

3. A funny-drawn medieval lion ponders its reflection in the loosiyana bayou (sideways)

4. A frog, after drinking a potion that made everything but its bones invisible, tried to put on drag queen makeup but wound up making a mess and now you can barely see the frog skull underneath the splotches.

5. One of those skull guys from those old newgrounds games trying to disguise itself as a panda.

6. Sad seahorses who can't stand to look at each other after what they've done.

7. Now look here mister, I don't know where you get off posting shit like this on a public forum, but consider yourself warned. You nasty-ass bitch!

you sound insane

I'm reminded of an obscure czech shitpost doom mod where the protagonist spends the first level entertaining himself by sitting in his apartment smashing himself in the sack with a claw hammer. You keep the hammer for the whole rest of the game, it goes in your chainsaw slot. It has absolutely no benefit, it just deals like 5-10 damage to you. Your character smashes his balls with a hammer because his motivations are pure. So too must the heart of the Cystian be when they quest for glory.