ISentinelPenguinI, The Grandmaster of the Written Word

Member Since

4/4/2013

Last Activity

5/6/2021 9:09 PM

EXP Points

5,554

Post Count

9189

Storygame Count

1

Duel Stats

166 wins / 166 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

81




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day I had a test, and the teacher farted, and then this kid bent over to pick up his pencil, and everyone was scared because they thought they heard a gunshot and there was a school shooting, but actually it was a deafeningly loud flatulence emitted from the kid who picked up his pencil, with such tremendous force and pressure that his pants had ripped open and were smoking. And everyone was laughing, but the kid was pissed.

He got up on his chair and screamed something like, "OH YOU THINK THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY DO YOU!?"

He grabbed one of the girls, and there were many gasps, "I'LL FUCKING SHOW YOU ASSHOLES FUNNY!"

He shoved the girl out of the way, and took a massive shit on her desk. The class laughed, and even applauded. For the first 2 minutes, at least, but the kid would not stop shitting. Eventually it overloaded the desk and started to drop onto the floor.  At 5 minutes, the giggles gave way to horrified screams. Worms and blood started to appear within the shit, and the oils of his eyes were diluting with lymph and starting to drip down his face.

10 minutes, and he was shitting this constant stream of worms like a faucet, they were pooling out underneath him and writhing over each other, burrowing into whatever they could find. The floor was too hard for them, but they found the girl's shoes. You could hear them chewing on everything they could find. They made little clicking noises wherever they bit on something, it was like dumping one bag of marbles into another... But then they found the girl's flesh underneath her shoes and socks, and boy howdy...

The worm hoard sort of swarmed her and started burrowing into whatever bits and bobs they could find. As they chewed, it sounded like those aforementioned marbles were being poured into a bowl of semi-hard jello. A thousand little splats in an orgy of blood and gluttony.

"CAERBOG PROVIDES!" Screamed the fart kid, "CAERBOG EXTRICATES!"

He just kept shitting worms and screaming about our glorious holy lord and savior Caerbog. Just sitting there. The worms turned to eyeballs all melted and grafted together, and the molten skin of his rectum slowly started dribbling down between his legs, but he just kept going. His real eyes were totally gone by this point, and actually his bare testicles were dangling out of one eyehole by their epidydimus, but what was even funnier was that a little horse fetus (Couldn't be more than two months) was desperately trying to escape from his head, but he was too big to fit through the eyeholes, so he just kept squealing and stamping impotently at the walls of his flesh prison.

Eventually, the eyes and the worms and the shit were creating this massive pool of shit that was ankle-deep over the floor of the room, and the girl being eaten by the worms was now a skeleton full of boreholes and tiny bitemarks. The class started really laughing their asses off as her jaw fell off, and one kid even fell out of his chair laughing and was devoured by worms, eyes-first.

The kid just kept on shitting. His legs had been worn down by worms into just nubs of flesh, so no one was surpised when the entire lower part of his torso burst open and started spraying eyeballs and bloody shit everywhere.

"CAERBOG PROVIDES! CAERBOG EXTRICATES! CAERBOG EXTRICAAAATES!" he screamed. More kids laughed themselves into the waist-deep pile of worms.

The teacher just stood on his desk with a look of utter disappointment on his face.

"Caerbog does not exist, you zealous religious faggot." Said the teacher, driving a knife into his belly as the holy purgative fires of Caerbog began biting into the flesh of his taint.

Long story short, the kid got a detention, and our sides fucking exploded that day. Even the fucked up skeleton whose desk he shat on was laughing. You can still hear her laughing if you put your ear to her grave. It's just underneath the floorboards of the basketball court.

It was so hilarious though. You had to be there for the full effect. He was just squatting over her desk with the same strained look on his face the whole time. I mean, while he could still squat and move his face, I guess.

 


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If you came to this page in hopes of learning more about me, you're boning up the wrong tree.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points Posting 9189 Forum Posts Rated 59.0% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 03/27/2020 - OG

Storygames

Randomly Walk II, The epic sequel.

this is a loosely satirical and somewhat more gamey version of the game that isn't really a game. thanks to the creative juices of Bardockwest. The ORIGINAL: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/randomly-walk


A Quiz I made for the Blatant Hell of it All. *CLOSED FOR REPAIRS*
unpublished

I discovered a thing that JJJ wrote. It told me all about this quiz-making shit. I followed the instructions, even though I disobeyed JJJ's opening lines by starting this WITHOUT a basic knowledge of any of that weird scripty shit he recommended. This was low-effort as all hell, don't ever use the classic editor for anything you care about.

AQIMFTBHOIA DLC: THE UPDATE DESCRIPTION

Since some of my questions contained outdated information and I needed to make sure everything was in working order, I unpublished this thing. Since I understand this to be something that generally fucks with ratings, I'm gonna add 5 more questions so you have more of a reason to rate it again. Also, every question now has a stupid answer. These are the ones that are so blatantly wrong/non-answers that they give you negative points... Some are better hidden than others. Aside from most of the endings being revamped, there are two new endings! One is for people who're spectacularly awful at quizzes, and the other is an ending for people who go off the beaten path... By being really  bad at quizzes.

No, I will not add a thing at the end that shows your score. If you want to know your score, you have to dick-measure in the comments yourself. Drill Sergeant Nasty has always been an accurate barometer for how well you did, in my eyes.


WHUPASS ON THE TITANIC
unpublished

In a strange world where World War I hasn't even happened yet, Law and order is the only accepted form of justice. Until NOW.

Enter Mild-Mannered Clifford T. Boot, 2nd class passenger on the world-famous vessel, the Titanic. Haunted by the shadows of his war-torn past, Clifford bought a ticket to the United States of America looking for a new life. But trouble always finds Clifford, and when an innocent widow and her child are kidnapped by a cult dedicated to resurrecting Napoleon, he has no choice but to return to his old ways and save them... Because for some motherfuckers, mass tragedy doesn't come soon enough.


Articles Written

A Tutorial for Teachers
Exasperated but optimistic advice for those who would like to assign storygames as school projects or for any other school purposes.

Recent Posts

Searching for NTR/cuckold(-containing) stories on 5/6/2021 11:30:52 AM

Man, I'm genuinely vexed here. I can't even begin to fathom even the broadest metaphor that begins to describe what a piddly punctured whoopee-cushion of a comeback this was. I had to reread it a few times to believe my tired eyes. This post actually hurt me to read, not because of its insulting content, but because of how aggressively pitiful it is. I still almost refuse to believe it, it just doesn't make any sense. The weakness displayed here brings to mind images of baby birds tied in knots- Or 90 lb men with concave biceps.  I struggle to comprehend how we (allegedly) share a species, though it's really no wonder he's made peace with the fact that people prefer the company of literally anyone else to him. And so fervently, too.


Searching for NTR/cuckold(-containing) stories on 5/6/2021 4:43:46 AM

If you want to play as a cuck, I'm sure there's CoG games out there for that kind of thing. If you plan on writing your own, @Ficsean_Chef is an expert on the subject. Gonna go out on a limb and assume @enterpride knows a thing or two about this since he's Dutch, so you can consult with him if Ficsean is unavailable.

Edit: Wait, Enter's storygame actually contains a cuckolding and everything, so there you go.


CoG cleaning up its revolting community on 5/5/2021 10:56:33 PM

I like the wording of "Hell, she gets triggered when rape or something similar is even suggested."

Because of course, over here we suggest rape a lot as a solution to problems.


Edgy poem with Sent. on 5/5/2021 1:36:15 AM

We're gonna need a real Oedipus for this one.


Edgy poem with Sent. on 5/4/2021 11:22:16 PM

One of you is correct!


Let's Play Skybreak! on 5/3/2021 8:18:04 PM

7


Edgy poem with Sent. on 5/2/2021 1:38:19 AM

We should have hired a surgeon to cut us carefully apart.
We must have done it the wrong way.
Surely this is the wrong way to do it.
Nothing about it feels right.
Nothing feels right anymore.
Not a damn thing feels right.
My knees weaken with disgust at things I used to like doing.
I turn away from my enjoyment in hopes of finding something that helps.
I cannot be consoled, only occupied.
All the rest is pain. Pain and aversion.

We're apart, that's how you say it should be. But we're not. Not yet.
We're still pulling
And pulling and pulling away.
And it hurts and itches.
The skin has stretched and broken, but it's not all we share.
Organs and sinews, important tissues,
Hanging on by mucus-y strings.
More harmonic pieces that snap off every moment.

I wonder as we force ourselves further
who will end up with what?
Were we attached by too much?
Everything that I do
Starts to remind me of you.

I try to pull away too. Do my part in this affair.
But there are ligaments of you twitching in me, like a puppet's strings.
There are organs of you pulsating in unexpected places.
Did you take bits of me with you?
Have you removed them all? 
Do they hurt forever?
Will you keep any of them, in the end?

There's a place in us, for someone. A sudden, violent, vacuous void.
But apparently not for each other.

I want to cry, or scream, or choke,
But my mouth and throat must have been pulled off in mitosis.
I wish sometimes my eyes were taken too.
Which side of the wishbone did you get?
Mouths that aren't mine mock me from within.
Should we ever have been this close?
Is it this disgusting every time?

I am put off by everything.
Every part of the room is coated in something.
We are ever so unseemly creatures.
Why does everyone do this?
Why did I ever do this?
I fell for it.
I tricked you.
I'm sorry.

I take stock mentally, if such a thing can be done.
What parts of me are left, uncrushed, unstretched?
I wonder every moment how long this will take to heal.
But that's putting the heart before the arteries
Because the wound is not done opening.

We're not done Pulling.


~~~
In light of recent conversation, I was inspired to make a poem! A song would've been more pleasant, but I couldn't think of a lot of things that rhyme. That, and there were already songs that cover the broad spectrum of emotions involved with this. Though I did notice that there weren't any songs that covered the certain finer points of feeling... Rotten and uncomfortable, I suppose. I decided to write a bunch of freeform metaphors instead, since there were a bunch of sentences that I felt really got the feeling across, but none of them had the right amount of syllables, and everything I tried to rhyme with them felt like filler.


Let's Play Skybreak! on 4/30/2021 10:06:17 AM

2


A Small Story (vote) on 4/27/2021 12:16:43 AM

Lightning and invisibility seems like the winner's combo. Lightning will kill the people you want like a plague will, and it basically does the job of two wands by being its own element in addition to being great at causing fires. The Invisibility ring likewise has its own many, many uses, but it also somewhat negates the need for an arrow protection necklace because you become impossible to shoot at directly.


Added a cyberpunk tag on 4/26/2021 4:33:42 PM

Spirituality doesn't make the most sense for most people who don't believe in/have a concept of souls, but even then, it has a very broad usage. I would say that in the most general sense, something that is spiritual tends to be concerned with the places where philosophy intersects with emotion and feeling. This can be esoteric yoga class babble, but it can also be Platonism, where a lot of esoteric yoga class babble comes from, or John Muir's writings, which don't say too much literally, but his meaning and purpose can be felt given the things he's detailing and the time in which he wrote them. But I even hear a lot of Nietzche's books described as spiritual by people who're really into them.