SummerSparrow, The Wordsmith

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4/17/2021 12:37 AM

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C U R I O U S ? 

•  › •   •  |

one • ascension 

two • the soul weeps 

three• final farewells, goodbyes

| •  › •   •  |



Hello there! Please feel free to call me Sparrow, although I am open to nicknames as long as they are appropriate. I'm a college student in my early twenties.  

•  › •   •  | 

There is nothing left to see here. Goodbye! 

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Earning 100 Points

Recent Posts

Character designs? on 5/19/2016 11:01:52 PM

Asking others to design a character for you is a dangerous move, especially since you provide very little detail. Creating a character can be an intimate, difficult process - it's not as simple as jotting down a few facts about them before slapping a name and random background on them. They aren't a faceless object whose only purpose is to play their role: they are a unique person with strengths, flaws, worries, and quirks that set them apart from others. You're forming an entirely new being, which requires you to look closely at their different aspects. For instance, their past is extremely important, as it influences their traits and helps form the person they are today. Their appearance is also essential, as humans have unique appearances with different features that help them stand out. 

Because your character will also play a major role in your story, it's best to know them as well as possible so that you aren't constantly questioning what they'd do in different situations. Designing your own character will allow you to share a deep connection with them. Because you know them inside and out, you'll have an easier time writing about them than you would if it were someone else's character. They will fit better in your world and story. Furthermore, you are more familiar with your own plot than we are. You should be able to tell what types of people would be best fit in your world. If you truly value your work, you'll be willing to make time to create your own characters rather than asking other people to do so for you. You're more than welcome to ask for suggestions though. Best wishes.

Biology sucks right? on 5/19/2016 10:38:09 PM

Honestly, I was hesitant about reading on after I realized that I was facing an overused opening scene: the main character awakens to face a new day. However, I liked how you didn't waste time going through the character's morning routine. Instead, you made them immediately face a serious problem before offering an unsafe solution: pretending to be ill. It was a good move to make, as many different events could occur as a result of this choice.  

As for your grammar, I feel that it could use more work. I think that the major issue is your lack of commas, as I noticed many places where they were missing. Your writing style was alright - it was good that you didn't include too many useless details while the character was awakening; otherwise, it may have discouraged me from reading. However, I feel that some of your descriptions could be replaced with stronger ones so that the reader can connect with the character and their emotions better. Some of them sounded a bit awkward. For instance, "as you groggily begin to start moving around" could be replaced with "Kicking off your sheets, you release a loud yawn and tug your arms back into a stretch. Your open textbook catches your attention, and you stare at it through drooping eyes. Mmm, what was I studying for last night? you wonder. For a few seconds, you struggle to recover your memories from your cottony mind. But then, it hits you. Today is your biology final - you fell asleep before you could even start studying the second unit!" Also, "You jump out of your bed filled with nervous energy" might sound better as "As your stomach flips, you scramble out of bed and press a hand against your pounding heart." 

Best of luck. I hope you continue working on this, as I'm interested to see what happens to the character. Using a mundane opening was a dangerous move, but you managed to recapture some of my interest by quickly presenting the problem. However, you may have to be careful when writing the next few scenes (be sure that you keep the reader's interest) because it'll be easy to lose your reader's attention if there are too many dull or seemingly unimportant moments. 

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/17/2016 10:12:10 AM

Oh dear. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about being compared to him, but . . . thank you? Human flesh doesn't appeal to me though, so I don't think I'll be the newest Hannibal Lecter - at least I hope I won't. Thank you - I'll definitely enjoy this website. 

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/17/2016 10:01:48 AM

I'm glad that my formality isn't considered to be strange. I've been compared to a robot on many occasions (and been demanded to prove that I'm not a bot), and that apparently unnerves some people. Thank you for your encouraging words - I'll definitely be more active on here. 

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/17/2016 9:59:03 AM

Thank you so much for the encouragement, Jimmy. I really appreciate it!

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/17/2016 9:58:24 AM

My bad - I've switched to the threaded view so that this doesn't happen again.

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/16/2016 1:35:46 PM

Thank you for the welcoming comments, everyone! I'm glad to hear that I've made a positive first impression. I hope to get to know you all better in the future. 

Was A Ghost - Now Active on 5/16/2016 12:02:00 PM

Hello, everyone. While I'm not entirely new on here, I suppose it'd be polite to introduce myself before barging into the threads. My name is SummerSparrow, but you're welcome to refer to me as Sparrow (or create a nickname, provided that it's not demeaning or inappropriate). I joined this website in 2013 and have been haunting it since then, playing games but keeping a low profile. It wasn't until recently that I decided to become more active and begin posting some comments, as well as visit the forums (which I tend to avoid for some reason). I have taken the time to visit the "Help & Info" section and read all the available articles, so I understand what is expected of me as a member. I've also noticed and been informed of the troll problems. I'd like to assure you that I am not and will not be a troll. I intend to contribute to this community as best as I can, and I hopefully will not be seen as a nuisance on this website. 

I rarely write introductions on forums, so I'm not sure if I'm doing this correctly. But if I'm not mistaken, I should also include a few facts about myself so that you all have a better idea of who I am.   

  • Writing has been and will continue to be one of my greatest passions. Ever since I was a child, I loved writing stories, poems, and songs. Being able to convey my emotions and wrap people in another world through storytelling is thoroughly enjoyable.   
  • I've had past experience in critiquing people's stories/taking critiquing requests on another writing website. While I'm far from being a professional, I'm used to examining works with a critical eye and leaving a lengthy review.  
  • I can be a morbid person at times, but I normally keep this side to myself and save it for writing.
  • I've played the piano for twelve years and find it to be soothing.     
  • Quiet music with a tinge of sadness is enjoyable. It silences my mind and helps the world to become clearer around me. I cannot tolerate happy songs attempting to promote positivity. It only causes me to feel trapped and frightened.
  • I dislike food and only consume enough to boost my health and chances of survival. While a balanced diet is important to me, I prefer eating vegetables (normally salads). I do manage to maintain a healthy weight, although I'm still underweight.
  • Cupcakes are horrifying.
  • I don't know.
  • . . .

Please do not be frightened off by my formality (people have been a bit wary of me because of my way of writing). As strange or dull as I may sound, I'm a friendly and happy person in reality. I'm more than happy to speak with people. In fact, I can be a leech for social interaction - I receive a lot, but I only crave more. I hope you enjoyed my introduction, and I'm sorry if it was too long. I also hope we can all get along. Best wishes to you all.

What do I do? :´{ on 5/6/2016 3:25:37 PM

I'm sorry to hear about that. After telling him that you're there for him and willing to listen, I think treating him normally and not as if he's fragile would be a good move. He might be experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, so he may not act like he normally would. Giving him space is just as important as supporting him. Everyone deals with death differently, and while they may appreciate feeling supported, they might not want to feel . . . I suppose "coddled" would be the right term for it. Since you're his best friend, you'll know him better, so you should do what you think is best.  

Thoughts? Comments? on 5/6/2016 11:22:14 AM

No problem! I was honestly afraid that my review was too long, so I'm happy that you found it helpful.