hetero_malk, The Capybaliph

Member Since

3/14/2020

Last Activity

7/18/2024 5:45 PM

EXP Points

6,301

Post Count

599

Storygame Count

4

Duel Stats

3 wins / 6 losses

Order

Marauder Exemplar

Commendations

237

"In normal times a mad man like Malk would have been hanged for his crimes. However in this time of darkness mad men can reach positions of great power" - EndMaster 

"Malk probably wrote this whole fucking story while his pasty unhealthy ass was shitting on the fucking toilet. He should be the poster child that the Ugandan preachers point to when they’re preaching to their population of 'Do not eat the poo poo.'

I’m fucking serious, that’s like ALL he fucking talks about at the secret villain lair. That he’s going to shit, how he’s going to shit, what it felt like to shit and when he’s going to be shitting next.

Fuck bran muffins, this guy is eating raw fucking twine if he’s shitting this much." - EndMaster

Joined: 7/18/2014

A list of my achievements: 

Achievement Unlocked: Questionable Parentage (10)

 Achievement Unlocked: Not Mine (-10)

Achievement Unlocked: Uganda’s Most Wanted (60)

Achievement Unlocked: Begging For The Abyss (-300) 

Achievement Unlocked: Lord of the Edge (200) 

 

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points You're an inspiration to Capybaras everywhere. Also your writing’s better than ever. Not only just an inspiration to capybaras, but humans as well. Standard-bearer. For winning the 2021 Edgelord 2 Contest Having 2 Storygame(s) Featured Given by BerkaZerka on 02/27/2021 - Magnificent Modding In The Face of Retarded Fury Given by EndMaster on 03/09/2021 - For rising above and beyond your humble beginnings Given by Mizal on 05/14/2024 - For the Capybaliphate's many contributions to the site and community. (but mostly the monkeys) Given by ninjapitka on 12/29/2022 - A tribute to your raw talent we all envy

Storygames

Featured Story A Prayer for Destruction

Entry into EndMaster's 2024 Prompt Contest! 

The Faceless Knights uphold divine law, crushing mutation and degeneracy whenever they encounter it. When the young lord of a recently-conquered territory calls for a true servant of God, you must answer. 


CYBERMONKEY

A short, silly, high-octane ride through a cyberpunk future where your bullets are few, your friends are fewer, and the long tentacles of the law are slithering up your pant legs. 

I am aware that technically, writing a sentence in all capital letters is gramatically incorrect. I did this on purpose, several times, for stylistic effect. If you point this out in the reviews, a team of hit-apes will kick in your door. 


WARCHIMP
HIGH OCTANE ALL CAPS PRIMATE MADNESS From the creator of CYBERMONKEY, the genre defining cult classic that got the author EXCOMMUNICATED from the IFDB! Entered into EndMaster's 2021 Manifest Destiny contest in the last moments before the bombs fell.

Featured Story Winter, After the Harvest

Winner of EndMaster's 2020-2021 Grimdark Contest!

Take the role of Lord Winter, an aspiring sorcerer and the scion of a noble line that has fallen into obscurity. 

Contains scenes of intense gore, brutality, and sexual violence. 

Cover art by the talented MadHattersDaughter.


A Man Flayed
unpublished

APEPROPHECY
unpublished

"Death is struck and nature quaking;
All creation is awaking,
To its Judge an answer making.
Lo, the book, exactly worded,
Wherein all hath been recorded;
Thence shall judgment be awarded.
When the Judge His seat attaineth,
And each hidden deed arraigneth,
Nothing unavenged remaineth."

-- Dies Irae

Ultimately, the fate of life is to destroy itself.


Brothers of the Breaking Dawn
unpublished


Slayer of Men
unpublished


Spear of Flint, Sword of Bronze
unpublished

Strange Occurrences in my Family
unpublished

Note: This was adapted with express permission from a friend's "Creative Nonfiction" project for ENG223: Journalism in the 21st Century at Toronto Metropolitan University. Footnotes added by me to add clarity when needed. 


The End of Creation
unpublished

This is a sequel to A Prayer for Destruction. It is highly recommended that you read that work before beginning this one.


Turd Midas
unpublished

this is so fucking stupid


Recent Posts

special kids shoving beans up their noses on 7/14/2024 2:48:03 AM

Alien uses ChatGPT on creative writing projects with no grades or money at stake because he lacks the spark of human creativity. I'm pretty sure his life is already a yawning fucking toilet bowl abyss of desperate humiliation 


special kids shoving beans up their noses on 7/14/2024 1:49:31 AM

You should paint a fucking brain and skull fresco on your ceiling by means of a shotgun you little catamite. Fuck I hate you 


Brainbreak Bar: Brain Broken on 7/13/2024 1:02:27 PM

Who could forget the thoughtful feedback that TheStoryReviewer used to leave? 


Review of Plato's Works on 7/7/2024 10:06:11 PM

The Bible is not literary fiction, it's ancient Near Eastern sacred text. 


this website was part of my childhood,now i am an on 7/6/2024 3:18:11 PM

I've been around for I think like eight or nine years at this point. It's crazy how whole eras of your life go by and CYS is always here. 


POV modes on 7/3/2024 8:00:03 AM

Retard 


Review of Plato's Works on 6/25/2024 2:16:36 PM

Because Plato considers poetry and painting to be two different categories of activity. You're imagining painting as a highly emotive process because you have a lot of baggage as a Westerner in 2024 and therefore you privilege painting as a kind of heightened, almost romantic activity. You're picturing Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog or something like it. Plato is not. 

Most Greek painting in Classical Antiquity was pottery adornment or painted directly on a wall or floor as a fresco. That's a fairly practical, mundane activity. The transcendent, the emotional, and the sublime are not associated with this activity, in Plato's imagination. Your claim that painting is just as emotional as poetry recitation would therefore probably strike him as absurd. It would be like if I said to you: "Why do you say that painting is beautiful and emotive, but not laying down bathroom tiles?" 

Also, Plato has a generalized contempt for image-makers in general, because of a particularity in the way he arranges his metaphysics. To Plato, things we encounter in the world are, in a sense, representational of a truer thing. A bed you encounter has the property of being in the form of Bed: the truest bed, of which all beds are an imperfect copy. If I were to paint the same bed, I've created a copy of a copy, and taken us further away from the true form of Bed. 


POV modes on 6/25/2024 12:39:01 PM

Kill yourself.... in Minecraft...


POV modes on 6/24/2024 1:02:39 PM

Fatty here trying to get his kicks in 


POV modes on 6/24/2024 1:00:58 PM

No, you should stop