hetero_malk, The Grandmaster of the Written Word

Member Since


Last Activity

6/7/2023 1:04 AM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

3 wins / 6 losses


Marauder Exemplar



"In normal times a mad man like Malk would have been hanged for his crimes. However in this time of darkness mad men can reach positions of great power" - EndMaster 

Joined: 7/18/2014

Go review my game http://chooseyourstory.com/story/winter,-after-the-harvest

Alternatively, go read my short stories http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/creative-corner/message/26566

If you want a short game, play this http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cybermonkey

A list of my achievements: 

Achievement Unlocked: Questionable Parentage (10)

 Achievement Unlocked: Not Mine (-10)

Achievement Unlocked: Uganda’s Most Wanted (60)

Achievement Unlocked: Begging For The Abyss (-300) 

Achievement Unlocked: Lord of the Edge (200) 

Son of King Lugalbanda, who became a god, 

and of the goddess Ninsun. 


Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points You're an inspiration to Capybaras everywhere. Also your writing’s better than ever. Not only just an inspiration to capybaras, but humans as well. Standard-bearer. For winning the 2021 Edgelord 2 Contest Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured Given by BerkaZerka on 02/27/2021 - Magnificent Modding In The Face of Retarded Fury Given by EndMaster on 03/09/2021 - For rising above and beyond your humble beginnings Given by ninjapitka on 12/29/2022 - A tribute to your raw talent we all envy



A short, silly, high-octane ride through a cyberpunk future where your bullets are few, your friends are fewer, and the long tentacles of the law are slithering up your pant legs. 

I am aware that technically, writing a sentence in all capital letters is gramatically incorrect. I did this on purpose, several times, for stylistic effect. If you point this out in the reviews, a team of hit-apes will kick in your door. 

HIGH OCTANE ALL CAPS PRIMATE MADNESS From the creator of CYBERMONKEY, the genre defining cult classic that got the author EXCOMMUNICATED from the IFDB! Entered into EndMaster's 2021 Manifest Destiny contest in the last moments before the bombs fell.

Featured Story Winter, After the Harvest

Winner of EndMaster's 2020-2021 Grimdark Contest!

Take the role of Lord Winter, an aspiring sorcerer and the scion of a noble line that has fallen into obscurity. 

Contains scenes of intense gore, brutality, and sexual violence. 

Cover art by the talented MadHattersDaughter.

A Man Flayed


"Death is struck and nature quaking;
All creation is awaking,
To its Judge an answer making.
Lo, the book, exactly worded,
Wherein all hath been recorded;
Thence shall judgment be awarded.
When the Judge His seat attaineth,
And each hidden deed arraigneth,
Nothing unavenged remaineth."

-- Dies Irae

Ultimately, the fate of life is to destroy itself.

Brothers of the Breaking Dawn

Slayer of Men

Spear of Flint, Sword of Bronze

Turd Midas

this is so fucking stupid

Whom the Gods Would Destroy

Recent Posts

Books you read in school on 6/4/2023 2:29:21 AM

Genre fantasy can be great but it's not mind expanding in the way that fleshy little shitlings need to be exposed to. Not teaching the high art / low art distinction at a younge age is how you get Marveltards 

Books you read in school on 6/4/2023 2:23:44 AM
  • Deptford Trilogy 
  • Moby-Dick 
  • A Farewell to Arms
  • For Whom the Bell Tolls 
  • Frankenstein + Dracula  
  • The Adventures of Tom Sawyer 
  • Iliad + Odyssey 

I think this list of ten is based and hard enough to instill a deep love of reading while also being educationally valuable. Kids are smarter than you think; they can either adapt and become good readers or fuck off and die. 

Of the books I was assigned as a teen, Fifth Business made the biggest impact, and its sequel The Manticore literally changed my view of reality. Profoundly based works. 

2023 Spring/Summer Contest: Gone Fishin' on 5/17/2023 12:36:50 AM

Joining on the condition that an entire navy assembled to battle a sea beast is a form of fishing 

Should Ford be banned? on 5/12/2023 3:35:13 AM

So excited for when you publish Deepthroat Circus: Bussy so I have an excuse to ban you 

Authors with most influence on your writing style? on 5/9/2023 4:16:58 AM

Lovecraft, Danielewski, Mitchell's Homer translations and the Hebrew Bible are my big influences right now. 

Should Ford be banned? on 5/1/2023 10:32:24 PM

Ford should not be banned. As our virtuous customs and ancient culture is further diluted, it's imperative we keep around as many of the old guard as we can 

Villain Lair on 4/24/2023 2:12:05 PM

Shut up fatty 

Mystic’s Writing Advice: Character Dynamics on 4/23/2023 5:45:17 PM

Shut the fuck up fatty, you are unfit to even drink of his istinja vessel. 

Mystic’s Writing Advice: Character Dynamics on 4/23/2023 5:44:48 PM

This sounds like great advice to have a bunch of characters who read as fundamentally samey 

EndMaster's Prompt Contest 2 on 3/5/2023 9:54:46 PM

Pre emptively consigning myself to SHAME here. Too much last minute bullshit ate up my writing time.