Summary:
So, Zeus watches the fight between Menelaus and Paris and agrees, "Yep, Menelaus wins! Paris needs to give back the bitch and all the Greeks can go home."
Hera says, "Awhhhh! But I wanted to see a battle!"
Zeus says, "But Troy is a really nice city, my dear."
Hera says, "But I really, REALLY wanted to see a battle!"
"But it's my favourite city!" says Zeus.
"BAAAAATTLEEEEE!" whines Hera.
"Fine," groans Zeus. "But the next time I get bored, I get to destroy one of your favourite cities!"
"Deal," says Hera, "You can have Sparta. Those sexy, shirtless men are nice to look at and all, but it's all a bit homoerotic for my tastes."
"Fair enough," says Zeus. "Let the battle commence!"
So, Athena disguises herself as a Trojan soldier and sneaks into the battlefield to cause some mischief. She whispers to the soldier Pandarus, "Hey, you know what would be a REALLY good idea? If you just shot Menelaus right now. That way, Paris would be the default winner, the Greeks will all go home, and you totally, definitely will not start a war that will completely destroy the entire Trojan army." Pandarus sees absolutely no flaw in this plan and takes the shot. Athena likes Menelaus though, so she deflects the arrow so that it only hits his belt.
Menelaus falls to the ground, bleeding. Agamemnon cries out, "Noooo! Menelaus! Curse those treacherious Trojans! I shall take my revenge by destroying the city of Troy! I shall slay their men and take their women and treasure for my own! Brave, brave Menelaus! You shall not have died in vain!"
"Um, I'm not quite dead, sir," Menelaus chimes in.
"Well... You shall not have been mortally wounded in vain," says Agamemnon.
"I think I could pull through, sir,"
"Oh, I see."
"Actually, I think I'm alright to come with you."
"No, no, sweet Menelaus! Stay here, I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic battle in my own particular..."
"Idiom, sir?"
"Idiom!"
"No, I feel fine, actually."
"Farewell, sweet Menelaus!"
"... I'll um... I'll just stay here then, shall I, sir?"
And the battle finally starts.
Antilochus kills Echepolus... Oh no! not Echepolus! Then Agenor kills Elephenor... Oh no! Not Elephenor! Then Ajax kills Simoeisius... Oh no! Not Simoeisius! Then Antiphus kills Leucus... Oh no! Not Leucus! Then Odysseus kills Democon... Oh no! Not Democon! Then Peirous kills Diores... Oh no! Not Doires! Then Thoas kills Peirous... Good! I never liked that guy anyway.
Analysis:
This chapter had lots of blood and gore and shit. I like blood and gore and shit. ^_^
Q: As you've now seen, when someone is slain, there is often a brief discourse about their biography and ancestry. Which minor character who gets instantly eulogized is your favorite, this chapter?
A: That one guy who got stabbed in the nipple.
Q: Are concepts like "agency" and "free will" operative here?
A: ... I mean... Kind of? Pandarus didn't have to shoot Menelaus. But Athena definitely singled out the class dunce for a reason. It's like giving a toddler a machine gun and telling them to "have fun".
Q: Emily Wilson's style has been called conversational, casual, and plainspoken. How does that affect your reading experience?
A: Has it? I've never read any other versions of the Iliad, so I have nothing to compare it to... Only thing that really stands out to me is, is there a single character in the story who isn't "Godlike"?
Q: There is an exchange where Agamemnon scolds Odysseus for not being yet mobilized, and then walks back his comments almost immediately. Who has the right of it?
A: I... Have no idea. From what I remember of the scene, Agememnon walks up to Odysseus and says, "Hey, Odysseus! Why aren't you ready for battle?" Odysseus says, "But I am ready for battle!" And Agememon says, "Oh... Never mind then." And that's the extent of the conversation. There's nothing I remember to suggest whether or not Odysseus was actually ready to fight or not, or to suggest why Agememnon singled him out for a scolding, so... I guess... If Odysseues was ready for battle then Agememnon was right to backtrack, and if he wasn't then Agememnon was a little bitch.
Q: There are several instances in this book of people fighting over the arms and armour of deceased warriors. What might that tell you about the political economy of the elite landowning warrior classes being depicted? How does plunder factor into their understanding of manhood, glory, and martial prowess?
A: When your soldiers will literally stop fighting mid battle to loot the armour from their enemies corpses, you should probably consider investing more into the armour budget.