Gower, The Master Scrivener

Member Since

3/31/2019

Last Activity

7/15/2020 12:51 PM

EXP Points

3,468

Post Count

991

Storygame Count

4

Duel Stats

0 wins / 0 losses

Order

Notorious Marauder Exemplar

Commendations

383

"He was slightly less unfun."

 

 

 

"Somehow there was comfort in coffee despite his misery; the only comfort in a black world." -- Hornblower in the West Indies

 

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Having 3 Storygame(s) Featured Rated 98.5% of all Stories Given by BerkaZerka on 12/14/2019 - For an inspiring display of creativity ^v^ Given by EndMaster on 01/07/2020 - You may be fooling the rest, but I know you’re up to no good. Given by mizal on 10/11/2019 - For your exceptional games and articles, many forum contributions, and disturbing sweetness and light. (Sorry about McAllen, it wasn’t our idea either.) Given by Will11 on 10/12/2019 - For your excellent stories and many worthwhile contributions to the site :)

Storygames

Featured Story Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends (1982-1985) Super Quiz

A comprehensive quiz + bonus fan faction about the the underrated cult classic show "Kelly Unicornstrider and Friends" (1982-1985). Questions range from really easy to really difficult.


Featured Story Private Game for Natalie

I think putting this on "publish" makes it so only we can see this. It's just for us, sweetie. I made it to celebrate our anniversary and remember some special intimate moments together over the years in an interesting way as a present for you.

I hope you love it, Natalie, as much as I love you!

(Of course if there's any admin looking at this, or if I messed up, don't read this, because it's got private things in it.)


Featured Story Sabbatical Report Presentation

This is my required report to the full faculty in accordance with the rules noted in the Faculty Handbook (version 15.1, as of October 2017)


Sixteen Words

"Personally I can only read 16 words in one go before words stop working," wrote Mizal.

 

This game has sixteen words per path.  Not counting "The End."  So you can play quickly.

 

When reviewing, please use precisely sixteen words.   That should be plenty for your suggestions and observations.

 

Note this challenge connected with this game:  Write the Last Page!


Articles Written

Basic Sentence Structure: Additive Sentences
Comma Use and Additive Sentences with lots of examples

Cumulative Sentences, Part 1
An introduction to the sophisticated and elegant cumulative sentence style.

Dialogue Punctuation
This is a brief discussion of how to punctuate dialogue in US and UK English. It also notes a few rules for quotation mark use in general.

Relative Sentences
A lecture on how to write relative sentences using restrictive and non-restrictive clauses.

Semicolons and Advanced Additive Sentences
This article explains how to use semicolons to create new types of additive sentences. It includes the plain semicolon and semicolons with transition words.

Understanding Style: The Sweet Style
An introduction to style, focusing on "sweet" style. How to recognize it, when to use it, and when to avoid it.

Recent Posts

The Fall on 7/8/2020 9:45:55 AM

I did notice that bit about him pulling out his sword and considering his "fae sheath."  It was not too subtle to elude me.


June is Noob Threshing Month! on 6/27/2020 2:09:32 PM

I think I heard that the official arbiters of punctuation are actually going to be changing the formal rules of punctuation so that they are in line with Endmasterian punctuation.


First storygame published on 6/27/2020 9:32:44 AM

That didn't feel like a 1/8 length game.  You can zip through and end in chapter one, but you can also get quite a few pages of material there.  Weird.


Gower's Office Hours on 6/26/2020 12:39:00 PM

Those are of course my decoy shoes that I leave in there.  I have not been in my office for months now, having retreated to an undisclosed tropical island-based hammock where I now hold office hours remotely, the whilst I quaff a pin (pineapple juice and gin) from a halved and hollowed coconut.

Paragraphing, happily, has nothing to do with grammar and everything to do with style.  Long, thoughtful paragraphs are wonderful in stylishly-written prose.  I find, though, on a screen, I need to break them up in order to rest my weary eyes.  So while I tell my student to take their time and develop their paragraphs when they turn in their work on actual paper, on a screen, I would probably recommend leaning slightly in the other direction.

I like your option 2 above.  Beginnings and ends of paragraphs are prime real estate for punchy, exciting transitions, and so a bit of extra paragraphing gives you more opportunities for those locations.

I trust my homing parrot gets this to you in a timely fashion.


Sitting on our arses for BLM! on 6/21/2020 2:10:30 PM

> Yeah. You have to do like, at least 6 playthroughs and then you can get one of the two "True Endings".

I just hate that in games.  There's too many games to have to do six playthroughs before I have the option to play the actually good playthrough.


Sitting on our arses for BLM! on 6/17/2020 6:14:57 PM

I liked the idea for that one, but I couldn't get past the first 30 minutes.  I bounced right off it.  I didn't care for the writing or the would-be puzzles.  Oh well.


Gower's Office Hours on 6/3/2020 1:36:19 PM

I am going to judge this dumb.  Even the Latin, proximitas, implies closeness, so you can't even argue that maybe at one point it meant just distance.  No, it's totally redundant.  And it's a cliche, so it's double dumb.


June is Noob Threshing Month! on 6/1/2020 5:25:18 PM

I am really looking forward to the culling to come.


Gower's Office Hours on 5/27/2020 8:16:04 PM

Yes, adding "phrases" would be perfectly grammatical.  As far as the specifics of your Incomplete, I would direct you to the registrar, or your advisor, or one of the TAs, or the bursar, or the vice provost, or... (vague hand wave)


Gower's Office Hours on 5/27/2020 7:36:11 PM

OK, first let me take my glasses and tilt them slightly down my nose.  Then let me look at you over the top of them and steeple my hands.  This is not RPing on the forum.  This is real.  And this is serious.

We need to talk about quotations within quotations.  In US English, when you quote within a quotation, the internal quotation marks transform into single quotation marks.  This is crucial for clarity.

So,

"like most of my clients, instead of saying any of the expected "how's the weather over there"'s and "rather hot, thank you"'s, your curiosity gets the better of you and you decide to interrogate me"

becomes

"like most of my clients, instead of saying any of the expected 'how's the weather over there's and 'rather hot, thank you's, your curiosity gets the better of you and you decide to interrogate me."

However, that is practically unreadable, because the single quotation marks look like possessive apostrophes--it looks like you are using the word "there's" and, weirdly, "you's" (which I believe is an acceptable personal pronoun in Chicago.)

Therefore, I would recommend omitting the plural entirely and saying

"Like most of my clients, instead of saying the expected 'how's the weather over there' and 'rather hot, thank you,' your curiosity gets the better of you and you decide to interrogate me."

 

Finally, if we wish to be sticklers for this sort of thing (we do) we will put a comma after "better of you" because the "and" is connecting two complete sentences.  This is called an additive sentence, in which two independent clauses (two complete sentences, essentially) are connected with a conjunction like "and."  Those sentences like to have commas before the "and."

Incidentally, wholly out of context, I find this a weird sentence, because "how's the weather" and "rather hot" sound like two parts of a conversation, a query and a response.  But it sounds like both of those are meant to be in the mouth/mind of "you."  Perhaps in context this is less odd.

I am afraid, however, that I cannot offer an extension at this time.  I will allow you to take an Incomplete.  You may complete the course over the summer with one of the *sniff* junior professors.