Hey, I'm Ace. To do list: Escape triple shame Done: 7/5/22 Complete 25 well thought out reviews Progress: 15 Write a story with a rating above 5 Here is where I keep track of the stories I've reviewed. If I reviewed your story and you're curious as to the rating I gave it it's on there. Reviews

As the contest comes to a close and people are presumably editing their stories (or starting to think about starting them), I think this is a good time to talk about what to look out for when it comes to editing at the line level. These are the things that I've been told are good to watch out for, but I want to know what things you think are important to focus on at the line level. 1. Sentence Flow Likely the most important, just how do your sentences flow. You can try and read it out loud, and try varying your sentences. For advice on how to do that, refer to Fresh's awesome advice just right above in this thread. 2. Passive Voice Passive voice is generally bad because it distances your read from the character. Try to avoid it unless you have a really good reason to use it intentionally. 3. Filter Words Same as passive voice, but these are a lot worse for me because I use them a lot and they feel right. It feels like I'm adding more, necessary details, emphasizing sensory details, but really it's just bad and you should normally remove them. 4. Adverbs These are a lot of work to remove. When you remove them, make sure you aren't saying the same stupid description over and over. Don't make your characters eyes go wide every time they're scared, or make them smirk every time you remove "sarcastically". 5. Spelling, Tense, Grammar, Actual Mistakes These are just the things that are objectively wrong and silly and will make you feel like a fool. They kind of go without saying So that's my list, I'm curious to know yours.

I meant in his list lol. Sadly, out of the 9 he hasn't played, persona is one of them.

persona not mentioned :( Not that I'd expect End to spend over 100 hours on a weeb game. Seeing as FF is also missing from the list, I assume JRPG's aren't his thing. As far as Dark Souls goes, maybe you'd like Bloodborune more. It is Playstation exclusive, which is extremely maddening. DS1 is amazing, but it's a little hard to get into, lack of direction and all. Pretty easy to get to places you shouldn't go and not know where the hell you're supposed to be. I also don't think the series is good from an RPG standpoint, the inventory and items and weapons and weapon upgrades and stat system are all ass imo.

PERSONA MENTIONED?! goddamn it why won't the html tags work https://imgur.com/a/P1ung4Q

I mean they are the same "genre" after all.

I just reached 3k. Only 2 pages in though. I have a decent idea where it's going and it should be decently able to be constrained, but I mean 10k was already an optimistic target for me to be able to write before the deadline, and the story is kind of seemingly like a 15-20k kind of thing now. But I'm really hoping I can write like mad this weekend and then spend the remaining time playing with the sentence level of it, that'd be really cool. I give myself maybe 40% odds of submitting something? This is the first completely free weekend I've had in... well I don't know how long actually. Typically on the weekend I go to my host family's and do stuff, which is fun but not relaxing if you know what I mean and also isn't free time, and I had homework due every day including weekends. But this weekend I stay at the dorm with no homework so hopefully I can just write a ton.

Look, dump trucks move at dump truck speeds, idk what to tell ya.

Just like all the rest of the internet, the answer is too perverse for the young minds on this site, the answer almost as desturbing as Love SICK or Gay and DepressedER!!!

Hell, why not another month!