goodnight_a, The Wordsmith

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9/30/2023 6:05 PM

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I don't have much to say about myself, so you'll have to read these proverbs instead. From them you can either attempt to glean something about my psychological condition, or just marvel at their wit.

Whatever works for you.

Wise Sayings

'Reach for the stars... and you'll get burned.'

'If at first you don't succeed, skydiving's not for you.'

'Great minds think alike but fools rarely differ.'

'Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.'

'Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.' - a simple explanation of DnD stats

'If you tell a man that there are 360 billion stars in the sky he'll believe you, but tell him that there's wet paint and he just has to touch it.'

'I think, therefore I am dangerous.'

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points


Those Ever-Grinding Teeth

The fish are hungry...



-3: You let innocents die and joined a death cult. You are scum.

-2: You let innocents die, but you chose an 'honourable' death.

-1: You joined the cult, like a sheep.

0: Nothing meaningful happened to you (you met an untimely death).

1: You destroyed the cult, but failed to kill the fish

2: You eradicated the fish, but the cult remains, hidden deep in the shadows...

3: You destroyed the cult AND eradicated the fish. Impressive.


Written for the Gone Fishin' Contest 2023.


Edit 10/7/23: fixed green shoots error, clarified that swamp-fish can live in any water-type, proofread for spelling errors.

Edit 12/7/23: fixed Question Cultists loop error

When Rock Meets Watermelon

You, a human mage with little to no reputation (who needs that anyway), are friends with an elf from Summer called Cocoa Lire. You (for some mysterious reason) call her Watermelon.

However, you learn that she is having an affair with a human commander called Jael Rock, which is disastrous for a whole host of reasons:

  • Too many to list here (but you get the idea)

Your solution? Convince them to end the relationship!

However, a small problem called 'true love' may make this harder than you think...

WARNING: Contains sadistic goats, holy cucumbers, and a whole lot of other things that may cause heinous offense. You have been warned.

There are seven 'endings' to reach. If you like that kind of thing.

Written for EndMaster's Prompt Contest 2.

Prompt 35: 'A story where you must save someone close to you from a disastrous relationship.'


Recent Posts

MHD's Fantastical Fairytales Contest RESULTS on 9/15/2023 10:57:01 AM

Thanks for the contest. Well done ninja.

The lesson: never procrastinate. Or just write more.

MHD's Fantastical Fairytales Contest on 9/11/2023 6:09:40 PM

My entry: Brother Wild

I ran out of time. I'll probably pull this down as soon as the results are announced (To rewrite all the terrible parts).

Thanks for the contest, anyway.

MHD's Fantastical Fairytales Contest on 7/19/2023 5:30:05 AM

I'm in. As long as I don't have to write about glitter.

Friday Night Questionnaire 2 on 7/8/2023 8:12:55 AM

The Sims (any edition)


Mario Kart Wii

Gone Fishin' Results on 7/7/2023 5:07:04 AM

Congratulations to Sherbet and TypeCat. You deserved it.

I think I came third. Thanks to mizal for hosting and all the people who have bothered to read it so far. Here is my reflection for those with nothing better to read:

When I entered the contest I thought I'd have loads of time to write. I did some brainstorming: however, my original story was completely different to the one I published. My entry actually began life when I was messing around with ideas, so I wrote a few sentences then moved on to something else.

The story I was planning to write wasn't 'fishing enough' for my liking, as the references to fishing seemed tenuous at best. So I shelved that idea and went back to the flesh-eating fish idea.

By this point I was in the exam period. I used this as an excuse to procrastinate everything, while doing as little revision as possible.

When exams finished, two weeks before the deadline, I decided the procrastination had gone on long enough. I sketched out a basic plan of the story. That was all I did that week.

Soon it was only a week before the deadline, and I still only had those first few sentences from the beginning of May. I thought to myself, 'Well, this isn't good,' and began linking all the pages of the story together, leaving the writing for later. 

The weekend came. I saw the meager 1000 words of my story and felt guilty enough to properly start writing the story. I've never procrastinated to this extent before, but there's always a first time, right?

Monday morning: 4000 words, when I'd planned for 16,000. I started typing like a maniac, forcing the words out at some points (I have to admit that writing the gorey stuff was the most enjoyable part). In all I spent 12 hours writing that day, only stopping for meals and the occasional toilet break. At the end I published the story, then went to bed.

Yes, I had no time to proofread. Yes, I should have started way earlier and avoided rushing. Next time, maybe...

Again, congratulations to the winners. SHAME to those who submitted nothing. Thanks for the contest.

(I've wanted to do one of these for a long time.)

2023 Spring/Summer Contest: Gone Fishin' on 7/3/2023 6:54:10 PM

Those Ever-Grinding Teeth

It is finished.

Thanks for the contest. I may reflect on my mistakes after the results are posted.

Gone Fishin' Contest discussion on 5/24/2023 11:37:29 AM

I was thinking about writing a dark fantasy story. The challenge will be linking the story to fishing somehow, in a major way. 

2023 Spring/Summer Contest: Gone Fishin' on 5/17/2023 8:39:03 AM

I have no idea why I'd even consider doing this during exam season, but I need to do something other than not revising.

I'm in.

THUNDERDOME on 5/12/2023 5:50:29 PM

If that is your desire.

I can't promise to sate your appetite. But I shall try to make it a good hunt. 

(I accept your challenge)

Friday Night Questionnaire on 5/12/2023 4:45:39 PM