Player Comments on A Day Of School, part I

Good start, keep it up! :)

Multi-part storygames here usually have each 'part' work as story in it's own right with a plot and conflict to resolve, and are long enough it makes sense to split them up.

This is less than seven hundred words without most of the usual things a story requires to really count as a story, and I'm honestly not sure what the point was.

I get that you're new, but there's no rush and no reason to slam down on that publish button until you have something you can be proud of. Next time I'd recommend working out a fully developed plot with characters and conflict, and keep in mind the Writer's Workshop is always available if you need advice or feedback.