Player Comments on Bullying Awareness

Call it what you want, but beating up the school bully is WINNING in my book.

Look, the writing isn't awful. However, I don't know why every single time that "this is for school" or "created for a school project" means that the writer has to create a bad CYS. I'm baffled at the fact that this would pass in a class. Even when I was in elementary school, I had essays that had to be much more thorough and complex than this. Is this really for school? Sorry if I sound a bit harsh, but there's very little redeeming about this "story". There's hardly an plot, we don't really care about any of the characters, there's literally like three choices, two "endings", and about six or seven pages in total. If you continue to write, I do hope you flesh out your next story. Anyway, good luck in school 'n all.

It seemed a bit odd for a CYOA but it wasn't a bad plot and I guess I had some fun :)

It was short, and the story was simple and easy to read.
One thing that threw me off was the random splurges of description. You would talk about how it's the 3rd lock within the 1st term, but what does that really do for the story? We already know Dennis is a jerk and bully.

It also ended up being very linear. You had room for choices when you had Dennis in art class. In the end, all three of the choices led to the same 2 option which lead to the same to endings.
If I were you, I would have tried to branch out the changes, and instead of talking about something we really don't need to know, I would have just kept it plain and simple.

I feel punching your bully until he cries would most definitely scare him away.