Player Comments on Fallout New Vegas: War Never Changes, But Hearts Do
The quality of the story is high. I like both protagonists and they have quite good chemistry with each other. Although I might have a slight bias towards it, because it's been a while since I encountered a fanfic in this site with a source material that I'm familiar with, aside from the slog of Harry Potter derivatives, I think the story was well grounded in its post apocalyptic setting and the aesthetic stats were also a fun addition though a bit unnecessary. You even remembered the currency lol.
My main concern is the awkward formatting, with title headings called Choice or Chapters. It might be for organizing purposes as the story is still not finished, but I recommend leaving it out once you're done editing.
I'm still a bit iffy about the constant perspective flipping. Their voices are distinctive enough from each other that I quickly figured out who's viewpoint I'm reading in. Tbf, it would probably work a lot better if the story was written in novel form and the name of the chapter indicating the character pov.
I now wonder whether the story would be more effective if you let the player choose from the very beginning which character you want to follow, so in short, splitting this story in two different routes. It would certainly boost the story game's rereadability, especially because V and Fox individual storylines intersect only a few times.
Sadly despite the rather competently written story, I'll give this a 5/8. It would have been a 6 or even a 7 were it not for the fact that it's unfinished.
Next time, please have patience and wait till the entire story is finished when you publish it. (In regular fanfic leaving a story unfinished is no biggie, but on this site it is more frowned upon) If you wanted feedback, you could have toggled on a sneak peak button and posted a message in the forum.
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Darius_Conwright
on 1/7/2024 2:23:24 PM with a score of 0
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