Time Travel Shenanigans and More

Have a nice awkward talk with your boyfriend in the hospital.

It's written using mostly dialogue.There are a total of six "official endings". One tip to find all six of them is this: Never press the go back button. The game will remember things you've done in the past.  

Thank you Endmaster for giving me permission to publish this. Here's the Link to that lovely little Convo. Remnants of the old title are seen in the cover.

Also the contest entry to the Endmaster's second prompt Contest

A Story about Necromancers

Anastovok, the city of the undead and the sole refuge of necromancers, has ended its campaign as its victor along with four other cities in its alliance. However, some unforeseen circumstances will push the city and its inhabitants to its limits. Will it spell doom for the fledgling empire or bring the beginning of a new age?

Prompt 5) A story about a society on the verge of a Golden Age experiencing a cataclysmic disaster.

Part of Endmaster's 2024 prompt contest.

Romancing a Werewolf Has Never Been This Family Friendly!

Since there were no little girls left to be sacrificed to the great wolf, the young lad Rufi was sent instead. However, he will not be killed this quickly as he vows to kill the wolf with his own two hands in order to avenge his sister and the other girls.

A spin of the classical tale of Red Riding Hood and inspired by the CYS romance corner and Bucky's contest prompt. "Breathe fresh live into the tale of Little Red Riding Hood." It's written in the cave-of-time style. "It's a Boy" contains a total of 19 endings, good luck finding them all! 

Extra warning: The assigned 7/8 maturity rating was not a mistake. Be warned of some very explicit scenes. Go in with caution. 

Running a Potion Shop Has Never Been This Exciting!

The country of Riverrock had just discovered a brand new continent called Foundland. Settlers and hopeful souls flock to the promised land. One of them is the young mage Lise and her accomplished teacher. They set up a potion shop, build a house and decorated half of it. All things were fine and dandy till her teacher decided to fuck off and go on his own adventure. Now she has to run it on her own. 

This story is basically a mix between soothing slice-of-life activities,attempts at comedy and dark undertones. It will have two main endings and five side-endings. (for people who have trouble finding the mini arcs, please select this white space: herbs, study, potion, entrance.) More mini-arcs and extra content will soon be added. If you have any trouble getting a particular ending, feel free to message me. 

Entry for Endmaster's manifest destiny contest. 

What Happens When You Have Only This Many Minutes Left

A short story following the last king's final decision in a land on the cusp of the industrial revolution. There are 4 endings in total.

Submission for Corgi's Lord of the lands contest, a product of my sleep deprived mind and fever dreams

Edit: extra drawings added one extra proofread 

Going To Your Backwards Breeding Hometown Has Never Been This Interesting!

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Dear young master,

You might not be bothered to read this letter as I'm very aware of your bullheaded character. Nevertheless, I've come to inform you that a dreadful curse has been placed in Winslow. Beasts of inscrutable sizes roam its streets. Even your father couldn't fight it as he had succumbed to this illness. Although your opinions might differ on this matter, Nikolai Percival had been a kind man of great character. His passing had shocked the entire village to their bones. The people are scared, lost what to do. I am aware that you expressed no intention into taking up your father's mantle, but the village needs a new leader, a new duke. I plead to you to at least finish his affairs before making any lasting decisions.

(....)

Oh help us all, the mother's milk, I hear the voices sing to me, the elder gods, their song. 

-Eduard Merrill

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Play as a prickly prick and discover the grimy seaside town of Winslow. Similar to "little mage's potion shop", it's an open world setting with multiple locations to explore and puzzles to solve. There are a total of three endings! Guide and map included. 

(and yes, this was supposed to be the fishing story contest entry till I forgot that I was bad at copypasting and linking pages together.)

Fun fact: this storygame has 457 pages and 980 links. According to the site it's about average.

Edit June 11th: fixed the links of the light house, baker and beach area 

Me learning to script! Woohoo!

Yess, I’m finally done with all what I needed to do IRL! So, just as I had kinda promised to Mizal, here is my review for both stories.

Fun fact; this essay is longer than story A lololol

BTW: I vote for story B

Story A

I like that the story starts off strong with some punchy dialogue. It is a bit vague and I have no idea what is going on, but the details given make me interested enough to keep reading. “Shameful parasites”, “hosts”. I’m intrigued.

Then some creative decisions were made that made me frown. The whole command to Orion is a big nothing burger with tons of abbreviations, capslock and short hands that make me wonder why I’m even reading it in the first place. In a game, writing out the entire message would make a ton of sense since it is kind of setting flavor to establish the tone. Here, it did do the same thing as it did make me clue in about the science fiction setting, but you did it in the most inefficient way possible. You do know that you have only 2.000 words right? Why do you waste so much time with this bullshit? The story has in total about 1000 words, that section was 70 words long. You wasted at least 7% percent which could have been devoted to the plot and characterization.

The following paragraph is a bit funny. I get that the tonal whiplash is part of the humor, but it clashed a bit too much for me. The first paragraph talks in fancy pancy metaphors and stuff and is all serious and introspective and then you slap the reader with Cel’s level of humor. Sometimes it is a good thing to surprise the reader, but do know what kind of expectations you want to set for your readers before you break them. I don’t think you know what kind of story you want to write.

Again, with beautiful strong imagery just like I had seen in paragraph 1. Disease as a motif may not be the most innovative, but I like the way you use it to describe the corruption in the city. Also a strong collection of words was: on the festering citadel of fiendish fortunes. The alliteration makes it even better. Plus again disease imagery with the word festering.

The next couple of paragraphs do help build up the tension pretty well. One thing that I saw that you often use as a crutch are these sound effects like Bzzzt or things like [read]. It made it difficult for me to read. I know that it does have more of a cyberpunk vibe, but it is very distracting for me to read.

SPAG error detected; you strip down to underwear.

I still find it weird that the protagonist strips to their underwear.

Then the most nonsensical thing happened which kind of killed every bit of tension. This starts with the protagonist laughing at Magnus’ name. Ultimately the moment that killed every goodwill I had towards the story was when Sharon and Magnus were doing rather intimate stuff with each other. The author definitely intended it to be funny. I didn’t think it was funny, it felt rather juvenile. I also lost sense of the plot. Their dialogue was also cringy.

But to be honest, I didn’t know what the plot even was for the story. Like, even in the beginning I didn’t know what exactly the protagonist wanted to do; did they want to steal something, kill someone or just infiltrate the building? I’m not sure.

The last sentence of the story was very strong though despite the whole hogwash you subjected me to. “Seems like the tumor has its own diseases.” This line is a great line.

All in all, I do see some inklings in some sentences of writing prowess. The disease motifs was the strongest part of the story and it definitely had some potential. It was just buried in all this juvenile humor and clunky storytelling sadly enough.

I think this story is written by Yummyfood. I do hope that I’m proven wrong, but I’ve seen his track record and most of his stories are kinda questionable in terms of quality.

Story B

You, my guy, you got the assignment right. First paragraph sets up the tone; what the story will be about; who the character is and what he feels about it. I think that many people like to jump into the action with dialogue since that feels a lot more dynamic to the reader, but this opening like you’ve seen in story B is a perfect way to introduce the reader to a story too!

Also great use of showing in the introduction. You describe his emotions in VERBS and ACTIONS. It is honestly lovely to see. Pressing down my shoulders. Does little to numb the ache.

I also love how your portrayed his thoughts and how scattered they are. At one point he thinks about the secretary of state, then the war, then his family and his son. Again very strong sentences were used. It all feels like a runaway train, and I’m powerless to stop it. The reasons seem to shift like desert sands. Even though it is technically exposition, you also used it as characterization of our protagonist. This, this is how exposition should be written. Besides the world events, the character says what HE THINKS about it and HOW HE FEELS ABOUT it. You can just almost see the hopelessness in his voice, the worry he has for his son, the futility he feels about the whole war. I love it.

Again as the protagonist boards the plane; another beautiful phrase. A battlefield of conflicting emotions. The upcoming war is so much in his mind that he even uses war like imagery in his own narration. Normally it would be a regular phrase, but with the context that we now know, it feels even more clever and meaningful.

The interaction with Aziz is just too heartbreaking. You can also see how much the composure between the two men breaks down. At first Aziz is described as his voice carefully controlled. Then: His composure cracking slightly. Ultimately this sad line. I see the fear in his eyes.

Also I love how you also describe the city of Baghdad after his meeting with Aziz. Him describing how alive it is and how children were playing in the streets. Not only is it a great way to show his guilt, but also a great way to show the reader what will be lost if the inevitable war were to break out.

I think that the conversation with Hassan was a little bit weak compared to the conversation with Aziz. There were less intense emotions and I didn’t feel as much personality emanating from Hassan.

The ending is kinda like a bookend, ending with the protagonist thinking about his son, his guilt and the inevitability of the war, but now he is faced with the reality what he will be destroying. Something feels so sad about him looking at the skyline, knowing that he will never see it again.

All in all, great work. I also cried. Darnit.  

I'm down with it, but I will be kinda busy these next two weeks. So this fight will have to take place in August.

Ben, you are a very lucky guy since my track record with the Thunderdome is very very bad. So the odds are in your favor. Then again, it would be kinda sad if you were to lose to a non native English speaker.

Ben and Cel have so much in common then!

Your story was genuinely something I enjoyed reading. I again didn't expect much coming into it, but yours did make my day. There were lots of clever things added. If it were fully finished and retained the same quality, I have no doubts that it could have been featured. 

Perhaps I will do that too. The Innkeeper is my favorite story and my childhood favorite. I think my previous review didn't make the cut, so it is time for a better one to replace it. 

Therefore, my goal is to be the most commended every day until we reach the end of this contest

As of today, I am so far the most commended, and hope to keep it that way for the next three hours.

It's a pity that I can't do that due to my abysmal memory. For stories that were very memorable to me, I would have written a review once I have read it. Furthermore, if I were to read stories purely to review them, I read them at a slower pace as I'm constantly churning out notes and stuff. 

I will have more time in August to type up things so be prepared.

Not only a closeted lesbian, but also a furry. Disappointed but not surprised.

I do enjoy threatening people to be more productive. Ace is also on the chopping block.

The more you talk, the more I regret my promise to only dock points when you end up in the shame pit.