Hear Ye! Hear Ye! For a new contest is at hand! That's right, the Lords of the Land II is here.
Are you a new comer looking to test their writing ability? Or perhaps you have been here a while and are looking to tack another contest victory to your accolades? Or maybe you've been stagnant and need something to get you writing again?
Well, then you're in luck! For all are welcome to enter, even the lowliest peasant!
Theme: The protagonist must be a King, Queen, Emperor, Empress, lord, knight, baron, etcetera. It doesn't matter but they must be some sort of nobility. The last contest was of the medieval/fantasy genre. This time we unclasp those shackles. The genre can be of your choosing. Be it fantasy, science fiction, dark fantasy, historical fantasy, medieval science fiction, historical dark fantasy science fiction. It is all up to you, as long as the above mentioned stipulations are met.
The protagonist must also be a good and lawful character.
Deadline to Join: You have two weeks to announce your intent to enter. February 17th is the last day we will be accepting participants.
Note: Noobs, make your storygame title in advance, if you do it the day of you'll fail because you have to wait two days for it to be publishable. Failing that, just switch an already existing storygame to the name of your contest entry then just make a new one for whichever one it body snatched.
Contest Deadline: March 30th, at 11:59pm Est.
Prize: The glorious and wonderful Mizal has offered to buy an MHD commissioned art for the winner. (provided there are at least three qualifying entries)
Requirements: The submissions must meet minimum site requirements or they will be disqualified during the judging period. If you publish a story without posting intent to enter within the timeframe, you will also be disqualified.
If none of the stories meet minimum site requirements there will be no winner, and MHD will be sad because she doesn't get to draw any art.
Have fun and good luck!
Sir Corgi, I pledge thee my sword
Go and write well, good sir.
Glad to have you joining. Damn those stakes are high!
Contest entry is relative.
Welcome aboard :D
I'm here for it. I'll probably even make an entry this time.
I'm not proud of this contribution. It's keeping me out of the shame pits, but it's not good by a long shot.
Will there be any knighting involved because I'd like a title for entering? Otherwise, I'll just make up my own title and make sure to give the other contestants a run for their money.
Locked. Not sure how this went unlocked for 4 days lol.
Sign me in!
Darius' temporary writer's log
Please do not reply to this message.
The full log: LINK
2/3 - 2/5: Outline and overall concept and map done. 9677 words :).
2/6: 12933 words Three of the 19 locations complete.
2/7: 16845 4/19 locations complete. 2 penning.
2/8: 18525 4/19 locations complete 2 penning.
2/9: 22560 4/19 locations complete 2 penning.
2/11: 27480 words 6/19 locations complete.
2/21: 36150 words 8/19 locations complete
2/26: 40180 words 9/19 locations complete 2 drafting
2/28: 48000 words 10/19 locations complete 2 drafting.
3/3: 56461 words 11/19 locations complete 2 drafting
3/5: 60.163 words. 11/19 locations complete 2 drafting
3/6: 63.104 words. 12/19 locations complete 2 drafting
3/7: 13/19 locations finished, screw the beached kosmos!
I hope that I get the character arcs done in time. I think I have to place my main priorities on getting the final lore details straightened out:
- The naming ceremony rules and foreshadowing
- More hints about the flower and how it relates to this all
- Cassandra's behind the scene actions that really ripple through the setting
- The fact that the monsters look unique to the same person
- The true nature about the mining incidence
- Why the main character has so many daddy issues and more emphasis on his fear of birth and infants.
- The fact that this cthulu shit is actually part of the established folklore and religious stories that are so common that every child knows of this stuff
-Even more egg and birth imagery sprinkled through the environment.
-The blue mist that is only seen in certain parts of the game map.
It will be getting pretty busy, so I gotta write fast! I think that with how things are now, I just have to hope for the best. I won't touch on the art anymore as I find it satisfactory. I thought of having Noel really kill someone during the gameplay, but I think that it will be out of character for him, since he is supposed to be a jerk with a heart of gold character, not an actual jerk.
I also added another mystery surrounding his little brother's death! >:). Wahahah
Why can't Corgi gimme extra time. However, I seem to like this writing pace more compared to the cave of time thingy I've been working on. Perhaps it is because I grew an intense dislike for Rufi's whininess and grew more attached to Noel haha. They're both little shitheads anyways.
Favorite characters? Difficult, but it is either Fyodor or Cassandra, closely followed by Merrill.
However, Innsworth is really a delight to write. Each scene with him is really fun and engaging. Out of the big three, he is I guess the most lawful evil of them, quite a scheming bastard, but I do think that he really cares about Noel in his own weird way.
oops, it hadnt updated, double locked
Don't worry, Mara's into that
I'm in, I guess?
You know, when I first entered, I was thinking against it, since I sort of wanted a break from this mumbo jumbo that is code, but I don't see why I can't import a few modules from my other project.
Aha now I got it.
(I've always wanted to do that) :D
... Axxius, did you lock Corgi's original contest post instead of Shadowboi's?
I don't think it edit-locks a message unless you reply to that specific message. Quick, there's still time to lock it!
On a side note, your post about joining the contest isn't locked. Fixed.
Whoops! Still don't know how locking works. I'm figuring it out haha.
While a post has no replies, it can be edited by the author. Once someone replies, it can't be edited anymore, therefore it is edit-locked. It's more or less a tradition at this point and doesn't serve much of a purpose since those who reply to the parent post are usually voluntold anyway.
It's not entirely your fault that you're a stupid malformed taint-licking cock-hopper, but you should still try and keep the seven extra chromosomes under control.
I hereby pledge myself to participate in yonder contest. Been in the shame list for a few years now so probably time to try and redeem myself.
I'm joining! I'll write my entry in French.That might be off contest, but I'm only doing that to escape the shame pit too, so np.
Plus there'll be a new story in French which wont be a puzzle at hogwarts.
I can speak french and I'm helping judge so you're good with me, not sure which languages the other judges know
For glory or shame. There is no in between.
Sign me up.
Thanks Ogre! I'm looking forward to reading yours as well. Best of luck!
Yeah, this go around the stakes are a bit higher.
Really looking forward to your story!
I have to say, how is your progress so far?
My own schedule does run a little tight with the scripting thing and playtesting.
How does unshaming actually work when you are double shamed? Will you be entirely free from the pit or will you only crawl to the lower SHAME layers?
Uh... yeah! Yeah! No writer's block here. Uh. How are you doing?
Putting Derps Story here so it can be fancy and linked here like the others.
Well you have 7k words written already, so I'll give you a tip that will help you ascend to being a real CYStian.
If you have a story, turn it in. It doesn't matter how bad it is, just submit that shit. Then, don't feel ashamed, because you avoided shame. Feel proud of your story, even if it does smell like the top thread in the Lounge.
I keenly anticipate scrutinizing it in accordance with my detailed rubric.
Dang it ! I thought I had another day of procrastination before the deadline! Hang on let me type up what I've got and link it. I just got out of the pit don't feel like getting thrown back in.
Well here's something.
I may have spent a bit too long having fun worldbuilding and planning this to the point where I left no time to write it. I hope it meets the site's minimum standards? I can't say it meets mine.
Once the judging is done it'll be unpublished again for a while; I've got a lot more to add to it. I do genuinely like what I'm doing with it, it just needs to actually get done.
Alright, here's my pathetic, steaming pile of shit masquerading as a contest entry. As per usual, I wasn't able to satisfactorily finish the storygame I intended to, and had to expel this from the dark regions of my bowels when I got home from work. I did actually attempt one read through this time, so there shouldn't be as many errors as the last time I did this. I think only one grammatical error. On the bright side, this is short and stupid, written mainly for depraved virgins.
Slay the Dragon
You had to choose dragons :(((
Holy shit that was close Ebon hit the link button that is next to the abc letters that looks like a chain.
here I linked it for you
I don't even have the energy to type out my explanation. There is an afterword in the storygame that will explain everything. My fingers hurt and now I'm finally darn done.
Someone help me with a proper link. In my delirium I have forgotten how.
Only five minutes to spare. Pretty much perfect timing.
Diclaimer: I, like many others, stopped the larger story I was working on because I couldn't finish it properly. (among other reasons) This is the product of two days' work with very little proofreading. I know there may be a lot of issues.
For those who do take the time to read it, please give me as much feedback as you can about the dialogue. That was my major goal with this story. Good dialogue.
One more level of the shame pit to climb out of...
Oof, yeah that would be tragic if it didn't.
I'll save this so I have it for future reference.
Glad to see you made it.
Story was submitted at 11:59 so be quiet. I will do a reflection post for this one, because, well, we'll get there.
yeah we're going by actual submission time, not linked in the thread time lol
You and Mizal like to live dangerously lol
Starting to get the feeling that I'm a "first one in, last one out" type of guy, at least in relation to CYS contests and your dear mother.
"Self reflection is a vice best practiced in private---or not at all" -some dude's son, who we are disregarding for today.
I started a story called "Hopebringer" and wrote about 2 thousand words in the first week of the contest. I was having no joy in writing it, but just around that time, I bought Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus, and it lightly inspired this story (okay, maybe more than lightly, but I would not classify it as fanfic at all). I spent an extra hour at school about half the days of the month, sitting and grinding away in the library during my free period, all to the sound of the Mechanicus soundtrack. Then, as usual, came the "middle of the story, middle of the contest" point where I began procrastinating. I always struggle so badly with the middle of a story, but I think I'm getting better, although I still couldn't quite get it right for this contest. Then, the end of the contest was nearing, and I thought that I would be able to get a lot of work done over spring break. I was wrong: spring break was filled with a lot of shit, and absolutely no writing.
However, I was able to manage a couple thousand words on Monday. That's not all though (as you could probably tell), because the real achievements are the past two days, because at the end of Monday I got a divine bolt of inspiration. Yesterday, I promised that I would write 5k words when I got home from discord. At 11 o'clock, I finish up the final 200 or so on my phone, while lying in bed, exhausted. Today, I woke up early, got to work while eating breakfast. Got some done in school during a class with free work time. When I came home, I went to work again. All in all, I got 6.5k words written today, a new record for single-day writing (which shattered the previous record, set---let me check---yesterday -_-). I also read all of 1984 and the beginning of Dune during this time, which has definitely rubbed off somewhere.
Despite this being my longest work thus far, I'm not sure if it's the best. For this contest I decided to opt for a very autistic writing style from the beginning (perhaps the one thing left over in this story from Hopebringer). I'm not sure if it worked, but I wanted to contrast some Tolkien-esque, flowy prose, with a sudden tone shift to some anxiety-fueled, frantic shit. Consider this paragraph my first desperate beg for reviews.
Overall, the experience was the smoothest I've had thus far in a CYS contest. My organization and planning was absolutely on point (part of the reason I think I cranked out words so well today and yesterday, peaking at 1600 words in just an hour. I also retard-proofed all of the copy-pasting, prepping it for transfer to the editor from the get-go. Funnily enough, I still nearly fucked up the copy-paste while quite under the influence, however I did manage to get every active page to have the words on it.
Now, the key word is "active", which leads us to the issues with this story. First, I still didn't finish it. Sure, it's good to get out of the Shame Pit, but Propheteering (which you should read if you haven't) got fully completed. However, I will not let this game go the way of FAILsafe, and my current plans are to revise FAILsafe before the judges are done with their thing, and then revise God-Clock, because I wasn't able to finish up one epilogue that I thought was really cool. Thankfully, my other cool epilogue did make it in, so you should really check it out, shouldn't you?
Final thoughts, since I'm beginning to ramble. This was a cool contest, I appreciate Corgi for hosting it, and thank the other judges for volunteering their valuable time (that's Gryphon and Gower, right? I've got some bribes to hand out). Also, thanks to everyone who reviews my story in advance. I might go for the Ogre move and even create a thread for some feedback. I'll hold off on that until someone has something to say though (and there's a couple little things that I hope someone will notice and think about :))
And one final thanks: this one is to all my fellow competitors for getting something submitted. Couldn't have a competition without opposition.
How could I forget! SHAME TO THE SHAMEFUL!
And that's it for submissions.
Congratulations to @MrAce321 @poison_mara @BenCrucifix @carpenterhuman123 @DerPrussen @Ogre11 @Fluxion @Darius_Conwright @EbonVasilis @Axxius @Mizal @WizzyCat
Hope I didn't miss anyone. I am really happy with the turn out and I'm wicked hyped to read all of these.
EndMaster has been sent the list of the SHAMED. So expect he and his daughters to be beating you senseless and dragging you off to the pit in burlap bags or however people are thrown in there, for those of you who could not muster the courage to write up a story.
Approximately 159,610 words going by the sites estimate of all the word counts combined. Of course having multiple branches you can assume a judge doing one or two read throughs (more realistically one read through per story not accounting for smaller dead end branches).
Nice turn out.
Congrats everyone! Here's a list of the qualifying entries for everyone who, like me is too lazy to scroll around looking for links.
The Marchwarden by DerPrussen, 3698 words.
The Murdered Official by Ogre11, 40404 words (huh).
Cold Lies by carpenterhuman123, 8514 words.
The Most Amazing Life and Adventures of Sir Arthur Quillwyrm by BenCricifix, 14660 words.
The Withered Rose by poison_mara, 16870 words.
Bound by Light by MrAce321, 5504 words
Slay the Dragon by FLuxion, 5792 words.
Knights of the Phoenix by Axxius, 5189 words.
A Knight's Pursuit by EbonVasilis, 7701 words.
One Story Please by Darius_Conwright, 20496 words.
The King's Music Box by Mizal, 6226 words.
God-Clock by WizzyCat, 24556 words.
Wow. Nice work all. Although I am new, I thought it might be good to see just what types of stories get submitted for contests.
I have just finished reading and rating the last of these, and I left reviews on a few of them. (Although I enjoyed The King's Music Box, I am WAY too intimidated by Mizal to consider leaving a review)
I found them all entertaining, and really enjoyed reading through the different stories and writing styles. Perhaps in the future I will have something of my own to submit.
That's quite insulting to mizal.
Not really. Perhaps though in a way insulting for those whom I left a review. Not sure my confidence is up to leaving a decent review of her writing that goes much beyond that I enjoyed reading her story. I rated everyone including mizal. But I did not leave a review for all.
*slams fist on palm* Good job, most stories are sitting there over two weeks and at least half of them are so severely underread that they haven't gotten their rating yet.
Cold lies and the dragon story just need one more!
Hats off to you for reading and rating them all.
That's a really lame excuse for not leaving a review for mizal's story though. She doesn't bite that much.
Ok. I recognize that my reasoning is lame and cowardly, and that I should just man up, grow a pair, climb out of my hole, and put in a decent review for mizal. The story was truly deserving. So I will reread the story and have a decent review in by tomorrow.
I just posted a review and offer an honest apology to mizal.
In the earth realm, this description felt a little bare bones
Welp, my hunch was correct haha. Glad to see that this story will still stay up in the site!
Well, I feel a bit ashamed that my log might have a higher wordcount than the story I have submitted. Well, considering that everything combined is more than 100.000 words, I will gladly let Gryphon and Gower take the honor.
Well, I've finished reading the last two works, I have to say that I found Ogre's story and to my greatest dismay Fluxion's dick joke dragon story the most complete entries on the list......
It's not big enough to make it an entire thread, but I made some fanart for The king's Music Box, one of the contest entries. After reading Gower's review, I had come up with a little storybook esque illustration.
Darius, I am on the verge of exiting my realm of post-contest sloth, and you might just push me out.
Labour ain't cheap Wizzy, but you might convince me if you write a poem roasting yourself or another site member. The poem has to have at the length of 3 stanzas.
That's very cool, I like the style.
And so, after what seemed like months and months of study and poring over dusty codices, like Gandalf in the archives at Minas Tirith, the wise judges have deemed their doom and found a victor.
Congratulations to Ogre, whose story, "The Murdered Official," received an eyebrow-lifting 36 points out of 36 possible points, with all three judges choosing his story for their top selection. In this tale, we learn about devious dealings in high places, showing that Ogre deeply understands the rotten underbelly of a corrupt society, which has nothing at all to do with how he managed to get all three judges to vote for him and does not suggest that any money has changed hands.
Second place goes to Darius_Conwright's "One Story Please," recognized for its innovative structure and fine writing. Because the story was much appreciated, we shall refrain from using the term "first loser" and instead refer only to "second place." You get the pleasure of standing just under Ogre on the platform, alas.
The pride of third place is confoundingly shared by WizzyCat for "God-Clock" and Mizal for "The King's Music Box" because of a tie, and so, in accordance with ancient tradition, the actual third place must be determined by a cage death match with chainsaws and leopards.
On behalf of my fellow judges Corgi and Gryphon, thank you to all who entered. It was a pleasure to read and evaluate your stories.
The Murdered Official by Ogre11 -- 36 points
One Story Please by Darius_Conwright -- 31 points
God-Clock by WizzyCat -- 28 points
The King's Music Box by Mizal -- 28 points
The Most Amazing Life and Adventures of Sir Arthur Quillwyrm by BenCrucifix -- 26 points
A Knight's Pursuit by EbonVasilis -- 20 points
Knights of the Phoenix by Axxius -- 16 points
The Withered Rose by poison_mara -- 15 points
The Marchwarden by DerPrussen -- 11 points
Bound by Light by MrAce321 -- 9 points
Cold Lies by carpenterhuman123 -- 7 points
Slay the Dragon by Fluxion -- 7 points
Congrats Ogre!! Also, kudos to the judges who have plowed through more than 100.000 words!
Congratulations to Ogre and all the other people who published. The stories were a lot of fun to read.
Make sure you all remember to get your tickets to the cage death match early.
Congrats to all of you who submitted a story but especially to Ogre. I haven't read many of the entries yet, but I will be working my way through them when I'm not busy procrastinating. Looking forward to Ogre's!
Congrats to Ogre and everyone else who entered! I posted a detailed review on each of the games, but for anyone curious here's a quick summary of how I ranked the results:
12) Cold Lies: 2/8
Ehh. There’s no explanation for the situation the player finds themselves in, and the gameplay itself is fairly dull.
11) The Marchwarden: 3/8
After reading all the other entries, I have a greater appreciation for the efforts made towards branching in this game, when many of the others were so linear. That said, it still does not explore its concepts in much depth.
10) Bound by Light: 4/8
A solid concept that knows what it’s doing and then follows through. It’s too short and far too linear to do much more than this.
9) Knights of the Phoenix: 4/8
This has some really intriguing worldbuildling, but it’s far too linear to really qualify as a storygame. Better branching could easily make this 5/8.
8) Slay the Dragon: 4/8
Though the writing and concept is quite clever, this game is also incredibly linear and more of a short story than a game.
7) The Withered Rose: 4/8
A game with worldbuilding concepts that are fascinating, but introduced in a confusing way that prevents the reader from immersing themselves in the game. This game has a solid plot and premise, but the writing itself makes reading and understanding it feel like a chore.
6) The God-Clock: 5/8
The first half of this game was my favorite segment of the contest entries, with some really interesting and well-presented worldbuilding, but after that it devolves into a much more disjointed and rushed second half, with the other branches not even being completed. Interested to see the completed version.
Despite not ranking this one high myself, I'm pleased it tied for third. I really liked the first half and it shows a lot of promise.
5) A Knight’s Pursuit: 5/8
A solid, tight, game with a neat premise that is well executed with decent branching. Slightly on the linear side.
4) The King’s Music Box: 5/8
I really like what I see, I’m just not seeing a lot. The beginning is very engaging and fun, capturing a strong tone with strong characters, but it’s impossible to say whether or not there will be a satisfying payoff for the elements built up in the first half. I’ll watch for this story’s completion with interest.
3) The Most Amazing Life and Adventures of Sir Arthur Quillwyrm: 5/8
Would definitely have placed higher if it were finished. What writing actually exists is very well done, but the unfinished and highly linear nature of what was actually submitted prevents it from placing any better.
Deciding whether to place this game or The King’s Music Box higher was a really tough call. I ultimately went with this one because it has a full branch outlined start to finished, and I can be reasonably sure there will be a solid plot and writing. With the King’s Music Box it’s genuinely impossible to say what’s going to happen in the second half, so I don’t feel as comfortable judging it on its first half alone.
2) One Story Please: 6/8
Premise? Check. Execution? Check. Branching? Check. This game knows what it’s doing, and delivers on its promises, with a wide enough variety of endings and options to give the simple decision the story is based around a lot of replay value. It’s also completed, which boosted its score compared to the last two entries.
1) The Murdered Official: 6/8
A fine example of how to write a murder mystery cyoa. In addition to being a fun and engaging puzzle, this game stands well as a story of its own, with a well-developed setting and characters. A very well-rounded game (and protagonist, in more ways than one).
Huge congrats to Ogre for the win and the quality story game! I'm glad so many people managed to turn at least something in here, so congrats there as well.
Thanks to Corgi for hosting this contest, and the judges as well for their reading and commentaries!
Flux might as well have stayed in the SHAME pit given that he lost to fucking Ace. Lol
Well that might have normally worked, unfortunately this contest had highbrow judges like Gower and Gryphon so your dick jokes were for naught.
But alas, deep down I deserve my place, since I once again started what was published after I got home from work on the day it was due. Sloth, the one deadly sin I am always guilty of.
I thought that Sir loin was also a dick joke. You know, since I thought you wanted to allude to a loincloth.
The game: Chivalry: Criken's Cowardly Crusade
Oh I liked the dick jokes, I thought they were artfully done. I rated it lower for the extreme linearity, not the subject matter, I thought it was funny.
Congrats Ogre and everyone else who succesfully submitted something! And of course thank you to the judges for reading through them all. I look forward to the chainsaws vs leapords deathmatch.
Congratulations to Ogre and everyone else who submitted a storygame! The turn-out was huge in this contest, and the storygames seem pretty well-written too. I look forward to reading everything and might schedule a day dedicated to mostly reading on my calendar soon.
Also, well done to the judges for reading and ranking all the storygames, which probably wasn't an easy task.
I felt rather tempted to join this contest at the start and plotted out an entire 4-parts story for it. Unfortunately, my writing skills seemed to be regressing after a brief hiatus, so I didn't think I could complete something I'll be satisfied with. Nevertheless it was very interesting to watch from the sidelines.
A third place finish, on par with mizal? That's as welcome as it is unexpected!
Anyway, I'd like to thank Gower and Gryphon for their timely and gracious judging, as well as the dog himself, Corgi, for hosting this whole thing! Congrats to Ogre on the win, and congrats to everyone else who did better than Ace! Now to get around to polishing up this chainsaw.
Congratulations, everyone! You all did a fine job on your stories. Kudos to all of you who entered and completed a story, successfully avoiding the (dramatic music) SHAME PIT.
After receiving constructive feedback from my fellow CYStians, I've decided to finish the story I originally intended to publish for the contest.
Congrats to all those who made it up on the podium and the winner Ogre11! Great job to everyone who submitted something and I look forward to the next contest.