=For End Master's Manifest Destiny contest=

When Alexsis starts trying to steal your favorite seat in the school cafeteria, things get serious.  The pair of you decide to resolve this dispute in combat:  a game of capture the flag.  Can you beat your nemesis in a game of capture the flag, and reclaim what is rightfully yours?

This story is a short cave-of-time style game with seven possible victory endings.  Happy flag-hunting!

As humanity begins to leave their corner of the galaxy for the first time, they encounter previously uncontacted alien races.  As one of earth's leading diplomats, you will play a key role in shaping the future of your species in this unfamiliar world.

A mostly cave-of-time style story with limited rebranching in a few places, and five victory endings.

Winner of End Master's Culture Clash Contest

In this short RPG game, you explore your local village, solving challenges and puzzles, as you try to decide what to do in your future career.

When a thunderbird attacks you while you search for the missing Professor Keirz, you crash-land on a plateau near the legendary ruins of a ruined Anzaran city.  You must make use of the resources around you to repair your damaged flyer, find your missing friend, and unlock the secrets of the ancient Anzaran temple.

An open-map item-based puzzle game with one good victory ending, and one great victory ending.  Good luck exploring the ancient Anzaran plateau!

For End Master's Manifest Destiny Contest

Discover the dungeon's secrets, fight deadly monsters, learn magical spells, and more in this traditional dungeon crawl adventure!  Can you survive the dangers of the legendary Crag?

An open-map dungeon exploration game using player stats and items, with eleven victory epilogues, as indicated by the first two digits of your score.

Thanks to Nightwatch for the fantastic cover art!

An unexpected supernatural disaster leaves you and your your younger cousins adrift in a strange sea full of mythical creatures and beings. Can you and your cousins escape, or will you succumb to the deadly sea?

Currently, this is a short cave-of-time style game with three victory endings. It is complete in its current form, consisting of the first of many planned "episodes" for the game.  It will eventually be expanded into an episodic gauntlet-style game.

Your score indicates which ending you reached.  0 for a death ending, and a score of 1, 2, or 3 corresponds to one the game's victory endings.

Not that I ever found. The way I got around this for crag was preventing people from accessing their inventory during combat.

The FROMIM thing you suggest will work, it'll just be a major pain to code.

If there's any way for you to move the page effects into the prior link script instead, that will also solve your problem. May not be feasible though.

Obviously it depends a lot on context, but generally I'd recommend only including clickable items in the game's inventory that the player will be able to use during gameplay. You're right about the visual clutter, and people will automatically assume they need to use the items, so it will distract them from gameplay. Most of the cons you mention can be addressed by a detailed enough inventory page: it's possible to add dynamic images using on-page variable tricks (though it probably would be a real pain), and adding item descriptions is easy enough.

If your intent is for players to be able to quickly reference what they have equipped, it's possible to code that into the item's on-click description using on-page variable tricks. That might be a good middle ground.

I think you're right to only show items the player possesses, unless you want to strongly incentivize players to seek out new items. Definitely don't include all the links if there's going to be anywhere near 28 of them lol.

I swear by scrivener. Great flexibility since you can have nested folder systems within a single project that also collapse into a single document. Also comes with a lot of neat features like automatically tracking daily word count and easy options for split-screen referencing.

This is cool to see. I'm impressed by how concise it all is. My notes documents always get really bloated, but this is strictly the relevant stuff.

I haven't written any epic storygames, so I won't write that article, but I do have some general tips to offer with my experience in starting & finishing long projects. This post doesn't contain any advice on actually writing a story, just how to focus on a project.

1) First make sure you actually want to. Sometimes people want to write epics because they think this is the best way to get a readership & acclaim. Actually the opposite is usually true: people love reading short games, and put off reading the long ones. I think this misconception stems from survivorship bias: as a reader, our favorite games tend to be the long ones that were good enough to hold our attention the whole way; so we assume the length is what made them good. Extra length gives you the room you need to create emotional depth & complexity, but it's not what causes it.

In sum: you should only write an epic if you're in love with a story idea that will actually require that much space to be told. Otherwise you'll be better off sanding down your idea into something manageable for both you & the reader.

2) Then make sure you're actually ready. No one's first project is an epic. Before attempting one, it's a good idea to have already done many smaller projects so you can develop your skills, your comfort with the medium, and your self-knowledge about what interests you. (In your case, it looks like you've got at least a good start with your two games--only you can decide if that's sufficient.) A good technique is to gradually increase your project length & complexity rather than making any big jumps.

Another good thing to look out for is your familiarity with your own writing process. If you can't yet clearly articulate the usual stages your own writing projects go through, it's probably too soon to write an epic.

3) Make sure you have the right idea. Best piece of writing advice I've ever heard was from Kurt Vonnegut: Write on a subject you care about. For an idea to work as an epic, it has to be an idea you care about so strongly that it can effortlessly hold your attention for months (or years!) on end. If you don't care about the idea enough, once the initial passion wears off, you'll completely lose interest. 

So how do you find the right idea for yourself? That's a really hard question, but there are some things you can try. Think about what your favorite stories are, and why. Think about the projects you have finished, and what got you through. Think about what first catches your attention with a shiny new idea, and why that shine later wears off. Try writing out a list of commonalities in these areas, and see how many of them you can work into a single story idea. The things you care about most should be the most important part of your story.

I think most (but not all!) people's "key idea" has to do with characters & character arcs. Think about what the most meaningful character arcs you've seen & imagined are, and what the commonalities in them are.

Don't rush the idea. Give it time to settle & mature. Think about it during other parts of daily life, and relate it to other things that interest you. Keep a disorganized notes document and write down every new related idea that occurs to you without overthinking it. Bear in in mind while working on & completing smaller projects. Force yourself to work on it intentionally at least occasionally.

Have multiple ideas like this collecting over time. Be willing to shift focus between them, or combine and split them, and follow your passion. Notice what you're passionate about, and center those ideas. Keep those casual ideas documents alive even while you're working on your main project--that way when you finish or take a break, you'll have something else you can jump right into.

It's tough to say exactly when you're ready to get serious. If one idea maintains consistently high interest for several months that's a very good sign; but you might feel ready much sooner.

The first major part of your project will probably be getting your messy list of ideas in a coherent order. It doesn't have to (and shouldn't!) be a complete outline, just something well-organized. Don't be disheartened if this process is grueling and you feel burned out afterwards--I usually find this is the most difficult part of the project. Take a break to clear out, and then come back to your outline with fresh eyes.

4) Keep a schedule. Any schedule is fine, but it has to be consistent. I recommend picking a daily word count goal so easy you can't possibly fail to achieve it. 100 words is my go-to daily goal. If it's the right idea, sitting down to start for the day will be the hardest part, but once you get going, you'll want to carry on far past that daily minimum. Then again, on some days you really are brain dead and it's better not to force yourself to write more than your minimum.

My writing style is very outline-heavy, so I count outlining words towards my daily goal. Your call if that works for you.

Some people prefer weekly schedules, or ones based on time rather than word count.

5) Don't be afraid to take a break. Sometimes you've exhausted all your ideas on this particular story and you need time off to avoid burning out. The trick is to A) work on something else during your break; preferably a smaller project, and B) Make sure you actually come back once your break is over. Getting distance from your story is a great way to refresh your brain and get a new perspective on it.

6) Once you have a draft, let it sit for at least a month without looking at it. This is hard but really helpful. You need to get distance from the story before you can assess the value of your own ideas. This isn't a post on editing, so I'll stop here.

7) Experiment with your writing process. Try everything once, but don't keep following any rules that aren't helping you. Try outlining sincerely, and ditch it if you hate it. Try a daily writing schedule, and change it up if it flops. This includes all the advice on this list: try it out, and then judge whether or not it was effective for you.

Personally, I love heavy outlining & story structure, and I plot stories from a character-arc-first perspective. Everything else collects around the character arc. I'm not going to go into how-to-outline here since this post is already way too long, but I recommend looking into it. Consider looking into 3 act structure. The trick is to treat structure & outlines as optional tools rather than rules. Use them when they help you and ignore them when they don't. (If you end up hating outlines & structures, that will be "always".)

8) Follow your passion. I've already said this, but it's honestly the most important part. Make the things you care about the most important part of the story. Take the story in the direction you want to see it go. When deciding what to do on a day-to-day basis, work on the part of the story that you're currently most excited about. When you do need to grind out a task you're less interested in, see if you can change the story or task in some way so that it interests you more. If you're bored writing it, the audience will be bored reading it. Having fun with the writing isn't a guarantee of quality, but I do think it's usually a prerequisite.

Dude this is 400 words so I'll just do the first half lol.

Overall the sentence structure here is very good--practically everything I have to say is a nitpick or a matter of personal taste. The scene has a great pace, and the dialogue flows smoothly from one line to the next. I get a very clear sense of both character's personalities. I like the humor.

The only minor thing I noticed was you're sometimes wordier than you need to be. Nothing major.

"Can you tell me what this is?"

"Is it... a bedazzler?" I hesitantly offer.

^^Not bad for a set of opening lines, I'm curious.

A bewildered look crosses my abducter's face, and he shakes his head. He loosens his grip The grip on the odd machine he holds loosens, and he swings it in circles around his index finger carelessly. His right hand grips tight on my wrist tightly, holding me in place where I sit tied to a wooden chair.

^^Carelessly is not necessary; it's clear from context. You're in the passive voice for most of this paragraph, so I switched that around. It's a bit unnecessary for him to hold the narrator in place while they're already tied to a wooden chair. (If you want to get both in; maybe the narrator can remark on that.)

"...What? No. What's a bedazzler?"

^^I had to google this too because I thought it might be a term you were making up for the story lol.

"What, yYou don't know about bedazzlers? They're, like, the greatest invention ever! You can use it them to put rhinestones on things and make them all cute and shiny. I used one on the heels I'm wearing! Here, see?" I quickly lift my leg up to show him, and accidently kick it into something that where the sun doesn't usually shine on.

^^Added a few commas, and tightened up some phrasing.

"Oh, fuck... oww..." 

^^This seems like an underreaction. Add an exclamation point maybe?

The man keels over, clutching the spot where his genitals residehis crotch and my cheeks instantly turn a bright tomato red as I finally come to realize what happenedere my foot previously touched. I lower my foot, and lean forward to check if he's alright.

^^Nitpick: I'm not a big fan of using "the man" to refer to someone who's name is unknown; it's really vague. "The stranger" is a good compromise, but it's better if you can get a name or nickname. (Nicknames are also a great way to show narrator & character personality. Maybe the narrator fixates on some unusual article of clothing he's wearing.)

I see your response to Petros, but "where his genitals reside" is still clunky. Judging by the tone of this piece you might want a dirtier word than "crotch" but alas I cannot help you there.

"To check if he's alright" is not necessary because the next line clarifies it:

"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!"

Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely bear these edits in mind as I go through the passage. "Had been intending" is clunky; I can fix that. "Practically" might be substituted for "basically" or moved later in the sentence. I'll give it some more thought. I know I tend to go light on imagery; so that's something to bear in mind. (I intended this narrator to be light on descriptions as a personality trait; but again, that's a trade-off that might not be worth it. I'll ruminate.)

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah that last line is clunky. I did mean for the narrator to be human; I used "pinwheeling" just because he can be kind of dramatic with his descriptions, but I think you're right that the word is too strong. I'll swap it out for something like "stumbled". Thanks for catching "practically"; I add filler words like this all the time and looks like I missed this one on my edit.

Okay, my turn! This is an excerpt from the novel I've been working on for the past two years and should probably be finished with sometime in the 2050s.

Context: Scifi. The narrator is in a bad spot and crashing with Dee, a local resident. While trying to fix her broken dishwasher (against her wishes), he accidentally burst a pipe and caused some minor flooding. He's met her outdoors returning from an errand.

--------

“Listen, I have some news about the dishwasher, but before I get into that, I have to share some important personal context.”

“Oh lord,” said Dee.

“I was stuck in hyperspace before I got here,” I said. “I made a bad jump and I royally fucked the drive. Like, the wiring and the insulation had melted together… it was awful. I practically had to rebuild it from scratch.”

“Yes, I understand you’re very smart.”

“No, that’s not—Look, I just want you to understand where I’m coming from. My recent history. I just want to make it absolutely clear that I am no stranger to grappling with challenging mechanical problems.”

Dee rubbed her eyebrows. “You broke the dishwasher.”

“The dishwasher is in no worse a condition than it was this morning,” I assured. “In fact, the building has undergone no permenant structural damage of any kind—”

“If I go in there, am I going to find my bar room flooded?”

“Let’s not quibble about transient hypotheticals,” I dismissed. “The real question—”

I had been intending to block the doorway, but Dee shoved me aside with practically no effort, and I went pinwheeling down the steps.

Overall this is good! The writing is pretty clear and easy to read. You introduce the narrator's motivation immediately and characterize her throughout the passage.

I recommend keeping an eye out for tense changes and run on sentences; I noticed a number of those here. Shorter sentences are easier to read. Additionally, I'd recommend focusing on how you can show the reader something is happening rather than just telling us that it does. Turn descriptions of thoughts into direct thoughts, and turn transitions and emotions into actions.

"She loves me, she loves me not." I pick the petals off the flower, and letting them fly in the gentle breeze. andSome land in the river, joining a few of the millions of little pink dots flowing away. “She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me.” That wa's the last petal, which means she must like me back, y. Yet I still can’t work up the courage to ask her out. I sit in deep thought, until a familiar voice breaks my concentration.

^^I started with the dialogue to space things out and grab the reader. Small change; your call. The protagonist's realization that they still don't have the nerve to ask her out feels a little unemotional. Can you make that stronger? Try grounding it in action.

That last sentence is telling rather than showing. I recommend focusing on the protagonist's internal deep thoughts, and then just letting the interruption happen naturally.

“Julia, what are you doing out here?” It’s her, . I feel mMy face heatings up as I turn around and look at her.

^^Removing "I feel" immerses the reader more deeply in the narrator's perspective.

“Just, uh, looking at the pretty leaves.” She walks over and sits beside me, and my heart flutters. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, just looks quietly at the river aswhile I try to keep my face straightbreath steady, barely unable to stop looking at her. She’s so beautiful, with fFreckles dusting her nose and her beautiful clear pale skin that perfectly pairs with her flowy white-blonde hair and dazzling emerald eyes. She’s perfect.

^^I changed the focus on face to breath since she isn't currently looking at the narrator and thus can't see her face. (Also, she needs a name.) I removed some of the framing of the narrator's thoughts that would distance the reader from them. "She's perfect" is a strong way to end this paragraph.

“This is nice, the perfect weather to just watch the river.” She says, sighings as she watches the leaves fall. As much as I want to tell her, I can’t muster up the courage to speak to her, so instead I sit with her, taking in the scene before me.

^^That last sentence is again, telling not showing. Let's see the narrator struggling to tell her. Have her run through some possibilities in her head. Have her start to speak and then change the subject. Have her internally hype herself off, only to get cut off by some distraction. Then it will mean more when we see her give up and just sit in silence.